What should I do if my gf still has feelings for her baby's daddy?

Question

Dating a single mom going on 2 yrs. I love her son and he loves me. Us three spend a LOT of time together. I recently learned she's been writting letters to the bio daddy in prison expressing sentaments that betray our relationship (i.e, whats next for us, i wanna work things out w/you, I want you and you know it, dont have me daydreaming by myself") What to do? She doesnt know that I know soo much and its hurting me to keep it in any longer. Is she emotionally hurt or just a dumb *****? I love her but I WILL NOT be used as a "space filler" for some deab-beat who cant take care of his self or his children. PLUS, he has children w/ other women after her. They havent been together in over 5 yrs. So why the "love" letters NOW, after all this time?

Answer 1

Hate to break it to you, but you're being used. She needed a replacement lover and a replacement father. It's incredibly cruel that she would do that to you. I mean being in jail should be a deal breaker depending on what he's away for. Obviously if he's been in there for a couple years now it's not something petty. She's a glutton for punishment, and honestly you're only as good a person as the company you keep. She wants to be with this low-life then no need for you to lower yourself. It hurts but i'd move on, emotional infidelty is far worse than sexual, once romantic love is expressed for another it's over in my book. She's losing a good man, don't stay in this relationship, you'll be dragged through their drama for the rest of your life, if you chose to stick it out. Her feelings for him will go away and come back and you'll be back asking the same question. Get out while you can.

Answer 2

You sound like a good man.
Unfortunately, it sounds like she has some unfinished business to take care of, and you are basically being used as a space filler.
You can end up really hurt once this guy gets out of jail.

You don't have to subject yourself to this type of treatment, and need to move on with someone that is ready to give you all of their love.
You may love her and her son, but maybe you all can remain friends.

Just tell her that you feel that she and his dad may need time to work things out, and you don't want to get in the way of that. (If you want to tell her that you are breaking it off, without letting her know that you actually read the letters)

I wish the best. This is a difficult situation to deal with.

Answer 3

Well I am really sorry to hear that sweetie. I think she might be confuse, but that's no excuse to do what she is doing. I strongly believe you should tell her that you know, be calm cause you don't know what's going though her head. And she might be having a bad time too. Just tell her your feelings for her and ask her if you have done something that hurt her feelings and push her away from you and make her want to be with someone else. Listen to her and express yourself cause at the end it will be up to you. But make a smart decision remember that you have to love yourself first to love somebody else.
Atty
Kathy
You can call me if you want to talk !!!

Answer 4

i have to admit and im sorry
those are indications that she may want to still be with him
dont waste no more time
cuz i guarnateed u she wont leave u right away
when he s release
but after there frequent contact with the two
she will
then she will fall into a confusion stage where she will want to be with u or the baby daddy
which overall its not fair to u
and i ve learn utlimtum are no good

save ur self the time and headache i know its easier said then done but slowly start withdrawin ur self from her
than leave man
u r only lookin out for ur self

Answer 5

Sometimes, people have a tendency to "build" people up in our minds- project on to them what we want them to be as opposed to seeing them for exactly what they are.

Its sad to say but it is true. Sometimes, people think they are not worthy of having something great, so they make what they know somehow better than what is realistic and tangible.

I am sorry that you have to deal with this, because you sound super sincere in your feelings towards her and her son. And this is quite big of you...as a man....to care for another's child. And it seems that she has neglected to see that, or has gotten so used to you "doing the right thing" all the time, that she has selfishly gotten bored with it.

Unfortunately, this happens...to those women that think they deserve less in life.

But hold your head up high. You sound awesome. But its time to have that serious conversation with her. Its time for her to fess up, and its time for you to make a real decision here.

I sincerely wish you the very best of luck. But trust your gut. And there is no need to look back and watch the bridge that's burning.

Answer 6

REASON #1 why I wouldnt date a woman with kids b/c regardless of how much you two love each other...she will FOREVER be linked to her child's father. And being that he's in prison when he gets out he may have changed and wants to do right by his family.

Tough situation to be in good luck.

Answer 7

This relationship is a waste of your time and is not beneficial to you. If you wait until the children's father get out of prison, then you will be the only person getting hurt. Leave now.

Answer 8

Don't be a space filler sweetheart, confront her two faced a** and let her know that you know what is going on. Do not let her make a fool out of you.If she wants to be with a jail bird then let her.Find yourself a woman who will appreciate you.

Answer 9

You need to run from this mess my friend. I feel bad for the child if you leave but this is way bigger then you. She is just evil and dishonest. Two traits that dont get better with age or marriage.

Answer 10

Well i would suggest you talk to her and i mean tell her how you feel and if she dont want to stop doing that then if i were you i would brake up with her cuz then imagen what you can expect if you guys were to get merried and besides if she still writing letters to him then she must still feel something for him.

good luck buddy