I am a young lady that is in love with a 49 year old man, my question is too you if you were in my shoes, if he asks you to marry him would your answer be yes, or would you continue to be like me just keep telling him you are not ready. Marriage is not what I want right now I know that he is getting older as well as me but is much older and my love for him may change, I can't say how our future is going to be because I don't know but we have problems were we get into arguments and he calls me all kinds of name that is unappreciative and I feel that if he loves me that much why do I have to be those name he calls? Do you feel me on this? Would you just stay as an single woman?
2007-03-09 03:26:30 · 8 answers · asked by BabyGirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Currently my best friend is in a serious realtionship with a man that is about 20 years her senior. On ocasion he forgets who he is talking to and calls her a "kid". Now this is something that he would call anyone older or younger than himself but it still hurts her when he sais it. What you have to look into is what the words he uses with you actually mean. He may not be saying things to you that would have been viewed as derogitory in his time. You have alot to get over being in this kind of relationship as your experiances are different than his and if the age difference is large enough his age may contribute to his outlook on life. With out hearing some of the things he is saying it is hard to say to you that he is being mean or spiteful. I do not see any problems with your being with an older man, however if you are not ready for marriage then it is not your time to get married. If you know deep down inside that you have issues to deal with then you are being adult enough to realize that they will need to be resolved before you walk down the isle. I understand that he is getting up there in age and that he wants to have a wife, but he can not force you into something you are not comfortable with. You dont need to stay single, being exclusive with this man (if after you look further into his words) may be your best bet right now. Talk to him, and if he really loves you then he will give you the time that you need. If he keeps pushing and you are not ready then maybe you should think about breaking away from the relationship (as hard as it is to tell you to set your love aside). Take the time to find yourself and love yourself then go to him and tell him how you are feeling. Listen to him with out saying anything negative in responce and if it was ment to be the two of you will work it out togeather. I wish you the best of luck as matters of the heart are the hardest to resolve.
2007-03-09 03:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been my experiences that nothing stays the same. Life is always evolving and feelings and emotions do change especially when difficult times come as they do for us all. I married a man only 13 years older than me and it only lasted 3 years and things started going south quickly.If he is being verbally abusive now just imagine what it will be like after mariage because some men think of u as their property then. Stay single and kick this one to the curb. Being lonely is not the worse thing in this world, believe me, being beaten and cursed everyday is a whole lot worse.
2007-03-09 03:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you don't say how much younger you are , but still if your not really for marriage tell him. And him calling you all kinds of names is showing you what can happen if you do get married with him. So take you time and remmeber when he's 70 you will be what and if your married to him either you will divorce him or take care of him. SO think about it hard and long and if you not ready tell him,if you need someone to chat with just IM me anytime
2007-03-09 03:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of those situations and Questions. Are answered in your Heart. Not here! Not with Friends. Not without His Heart, either. Love is from The Heart. And it's supppose to be a Two-Way Street. make sure that your Heart wants his? And vice-versa. Don't let any of those others worries, bother you. If the Heart is where the Action is. Good Luck!
2007-03-09 03:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if you are not ready for marriage why would you consider getting married? Especially if this person isn't treating you right. You should probably say no to the relationship, let alone marriage.
2007-03-09 03:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It always depends on what you want! You are obviously not ready to get married. He is older and wants to commit. Tell him that good things come to those who wait, and if not, you are better off!
2007-03-09 03:30:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jeese, I think if someone called me names I would not even think they really loved me or knew what love was.
I would not even see someone if they called me bad names...marriage would definitely be out of the question. If he is acting this way now, how do you think he will act later on??? think about it
be cool...
2007-03-09 03:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he insults u in any way, youve got serious problems in your relationship and i dont think that you should be with him
2007-03-09 03:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by sweethyedreamer213 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋