Flatshare dilema - girlfriend staying over?

Question

My flatmate's girlfriend is always staying over and it ticks me off - how often do you think is reasonable? and how long?

Answer 1

3 nights........................
the council/social security offices state that if someone is staying over for more than 3 nights a week at a house then they are actually living there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i think 3times is enough, but it depends if ur issue is that she's not paying her way, or is ur issue that shes always there (like time wise)......have a word with ur flatmate,
if they want to spen all their time together they can stay at urs 3 nights and hers 3 nights, then have a night apart or something...................................

Answer 2

I personally would say unless she is contributing to rent/bills or your flatmate is paying a bit extra for her being there (no doubt eating the food etc) then weekends would be sufficient. I'm assuming that his girlfriend doesn't have her own place & that's why she is always at yours. Just try to sit him down at some point & explain that it's getting to the stage where it feels like there are 3 rather than 2 people sharing the flat & that it's not fair on you. It's your home too, so you have a right to say this.
I bet having a couple in the flat makes it feel more like their place than yours?

You should have really agreed before sharing what the policy on girlfriends staying over was, to make sure situations like this don't crop up. Just try to keep it nice, don't tell him that you hate his girlfriend, just emphasise that it's your home too, and sometimes you would like to be there relaxing without an extra person always around.

Answer 3

Once or twice a week I would say if she isn't contributing to the rent or bills. It is something you will need to raise with him and I don't think he will take it to well to be honest.

I have seen many friends in this situation. One of which even went on to buy a house with another friend only for the other girl to get a boyfriend she hated but he stays over every night.

I think it really is something that needs to be agreed before you move in together and before the situation really arises.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Two nights a week on average -- more than that, and you need to talk about whether you want a third room-mate, and if so, should she pay rent. An exception might be if they disappear into his room and you rarely see her -- she's seldom using the kitchen or other general living areas.

Answer 5

Always sort out ground rules prior to taking on a flat mate; however, now I suggest you think about meeting with him (alone) and discussing some house rules/agreement, this applies to your behaviour as well before the "fur flies".

Good luck.

Answer 6

I once had the same problem.

I'd say that 3 nights a week max.

It's unfair because it ***** up the dynamic of the flat, altering the power-relations markedly against you.

Answer 7

If by staying over you mean she has most of her clothes there, she is eating meals there, etc, you have a right to ask for her to help with rent.

Answer 8

Weekends at most only (2 days a week) otherwise she should cough up like everyone else. It isn't fair for you.

Answer 9

And I bet he has friends over, too! And uses the toilet! He probably even cooks food in the kitchen.

Some people are just SO rude.

Answer 10

Stop being jealous and get your own girlfriend, or better still, nick his.