Typical "girlfriend still sees ex" question...?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while and the inevitable question of lifetime commitment has cropped up. I love my woman dearly and would really do anything for her, including marriage, but there is one thing preventing me from wholeheartedly proposing to her.

In the beginning, I told her I could not marry her if she didn’t sever the relationship she still has with her ex of 7 years. I admit, being younger and never in a relationship for more that 2 years may skew my ability to reason here, but I have absolutely no contact with any of the 2 girlfriends I’ve had in my lifetime. She owns property with this guy so I know it’s hard for her to fix that expeditiously. It’s the regular phone calls and occasional get together with this guy that she at one time told me was “poison” that make me confused about her feelings toward me.

I am being told by many that if she’s known my feelings on the situation over the last few months and won’t budge, she probably never will.

I should add, we've been through the argument and fighting. It's now at the point where we are just down to the wire about marriage and she turning the tables on the whole thing my making me feel bad for not proposing (saying I don't love her as much now, etc.). The stress levels are running so high on both sides.

Answer 1

If you really want to her to stop talking to him, yet she won't, then don't marry her. It's things like this especially that lead to fights and such.

Answer 2

I would say you definitely need to straighten this out prior to any lifetime commitment. This is the kind of thing that will only fester and get larger as time goes by. It will always be there between you. Personally, if I wanted to be married to someone, I would do what it takes to be with that person, no matter what. Your happiness together as a couple should be top priority. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Hard question....I guess if she cared she'd change.