so i was with this guy for 10 months when he told me about some of the lies hes told me. it got me upset and i broke it off. after we broke up we decided to be friends and he told me more things about his past like he was married once and that he has 2 kids out there and 1 was with a prostitute. but before our whole breakup, i thought he was the one for me and we'd get married. he even told me that he was gonna propose in may on our 1 year anniversary. we had always had a great time together and i honestly thought itd last forever. but after the sort of breakup we were almost about to get back together but i couldnt shake off his past from my memory cuz i have this fear of becoming 1 of his "baby mamas" and him leaving me so i ended it for real this time. so my question is if i was wrong for leaving him eventhough we still love eachother. thanks for your help.
2007-03-09 02:24:06 · 15 answers · asked by koreanole 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU WERE 100% RIGHT!!!
Bottom line is that he lied to you and his things from you. This means that the man you fell in love with is not really who he is. You fell in love with the man you knew.... when it turns out that he is full of lies, all of that goes down the drain! You were 100% right to leave him and I congratulate you for making this decision to stand up for yourself and not to let him walk all over you.
I can tell you from experience that you will never be able to fully shake off the knowledge of his lies and of his past. It will haunt you and your relationship forever. Move on and find someone who is honest with you and that you feel you can trust 100%.
Good Luck and Congratulations on being one of the few strong women left out there!!! ;-)
2007-03-09 02:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could love someone for a long time, But it usually takes one lie to ruin everything. 10 months is pretty short don't you think for you to totally fall in love with the guy? If a guy can lie to you once, he'll keep doing it. In fact it will become a defensive mechnism for him. Everytime he does something wrong, even if its a trivial thing, he'll lie about it. It's not too late to find someone better and new. If you keep asking if you were wrong, than I'm sorry. But you'll find it difficult to move on to better things.
2007-03-09 02:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by Christopher M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is okay and I am sure you can patch back with him only if he stays loyal.
But he lied. Men lie once can lie again and again unless he loves you madly and will do anything for you.
But men once married will never do anything for you, coz second time around they are more relaxed and at ease.
rather have a man who runs after you like crazy as if you are the only one in his life.
Move on girl and I am sure you can get better
2007-03-09 02:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in holding someone's past against them because everyone makes mistakes. But at the same time, I don't think you should tolerate lying. If he lied to you before, it is going to make it impossible to trust him now. Without trust, the relationship is going to fail. I feel you have done the right thing here. Your first instincts are usually right, so trust them.
2007-03-09 02:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were wrong. He's lied to you about some serious information that is a need to know. He didn't tell you he'd been married or that he has two kids. If someone can't be honest about themselves or their background, what else could they be hiding? It was right for you to leave =)
2007-03-09 02:28:32 · answer #5 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because your whole relationship was built from lies. How can you build a loving, lasting marriage from lies? I know it hurts now, but in the long run it was the best thing you could do for yourself.
2007-03-09 02:41:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were just thinking that he was the "right" one for you. But he's NOT. He was a fake. A loser. Don't get me wrong. Those things already proved that he is. And you're not wrong. That was the right decision. Don't let him win you again. And a right guy will come in the right time. Let time decide. :)
2007-03-09 02:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Faye ^___^ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer that. You know what you can take, and what you cant. If the info that he told you bothers you, then you made a good move. If you can forgive, and I mean REALLY forgive, then try to work it out. You have to do what is right for you. No one can make that decision for you.
Good luck
2007-03-09 02:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by Michael b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are SO right for leaving him. You would have been in a world of hurt and heartache had you ever married him. Don't even be friends with him, because it will just make it harder to move on.
2007-03-09 02:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least he was being honest before you got married. He is trying to change and be honest with you and you shot him down. If I were you I would at least took sometime to think about it rather than throwing salt in is wounds.
2007-03-09 02:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by 2hot4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋