How to encourage 13yr old physically lazy girl into exercise?

Question

My daughter is 13 years old. She is pretty slim, no weight problems. I would like her to be more active in physical activities but she refuses to bike or go for a walk. I thought perhaps she does not like to sweat so I suggested her to do yoga (no sweating). she has some health problems and I think doing exercise will do her only good. She is stubborn as hell and refuses everything. It is the age as well I know. Threatening, rewarding, reasoning, reverse psychology, showing friends as examples, explaining health benefits, registering for clubs like tennis, dance, netball did not work so far. She is just genuinely not interested.

Question 1: Is there any way to kick her out of the couch and from the computer?
Question 2: Is it ok what I am doing or I should just let go and don’t bother at all.

Answer 1

Try Dance Dance Revolution. It's very good for cardiovascular type exercise, and kids don't realize they are getting exercise, because they think they are just playing a video game.

Answer 2

First of all, restrict computer and tv time. Secondly, she's going to have to find something she enjoys. I don't like to exercise, either, but there are things that require activity that I enjoy.

Remember that exercise doesn't have to be what we would conventially think of as exercise. Any movement at all is better than none. For example, I count my serious housework as activity. Jumping off from that point, you can assign her chores that require a little more physical activity, such as taking out trash, vacuuming, yardwork, or walking the dog. Just don't tell her it's your attempt to get her to exercise.

Have you considered exercising with her? Perhaps the two of you could find something you enjoy doing together.

You are the momma, and she's still very young. You have every right and reason to exercise authority if needed. Kudos to you for caring enough to try to help her develop good habits.

Answer 3

Well ur kinda' right on about not doing anything at all because if u keep pushing she's just going to rebel even more. And u could be giving her a complex by telling her to exercise. Teenage girls already go through a lot with their bodies on a daily basis & when parents add to thatr it creates a negative self image. Something u could try is u start exercising & let her know u are with out pushing it in her face, & then ask her to join u for a walk & slowing get her doing more wiht u. Another thing u might try is a gym membership, & the one thing that is sure to get a girl to go is tell her there are cute guys that go to gyms all the time.That's another big thing to her right now is impressing a guy.

Answer 4

Question 1: Is there any way to kick her out of the couch and from the computer? Yeah, get YOUR butt off the couch and away from the computer and go WITH her, buy a couple of bikes, take bike rides, put on some roller blades, take a walk WITH her (great mother/daughter bonding activity a chance to TALK)

Question 2: Is it ok what I am doing or I should just let go and don’t bother at all. Showing friends as an example is all wrong. Her friends are NOT her, she is NOT a clone of her friends she is an INDIVIDUAL. Nagging and lecturing aren't going to work either.

Get your butt up, tap her on the shoulder say "come on we're going for a walk, drag her out the door if you have to, lock the door behind you, take her by the hand and start walking.

She is probably looking at you wondering "if she wants ME to exercise so much why the hell isn't she getting off her lazy butt and exercising as well?". It wouldn't hurt you either. Now, I'm off to the gym to work on the tredmill next to my daughter. TTFN.

Answer 5

You should never "not bother" with your child. You're doing the right thing worrying about her health and her activity level.

The only thing I can suggest, is remove the computer so that it's not an option and move the TV away from the couch...I doubt she'll just sit on an empty couch if there isn't an idiot box around to stare at.

The only other thing I can suggest is lead by example...dont' just enroll her in some class...both of you join a gym or take a class or go for a swim together...that way...even if she doesn't enjoy the activity at first...she may grow to love it because it's one on one time with YOU!

Good Luck

Answer 6

What does she do on the couch? Read books or similar? That's ok. Any particular environment she is fond of, such as beaches, winter sports areas? Check what she's doing on the computer. Is she networking with friends (myspace, etc) or playing games? or researching about things that interest her? Check what her or her friends' interests are & be creative on how to integrate those with physical activity.

Say if she's interested in arts, walk w/ her to a museum. Or if boys, hang out where there's a concentration of them. It doesn't have to feel like an exercise right away. A step at a time. Make her comfy being out of sight w/ her beloved couch & computer.

I have other theories, being the subject is a teen. Maybe she's starting not wanting to hang out with parents anymore, in which case you need to discreetly (& be genuinely non-invasive) monitor your child & her friends' actions & interests.

Maybe she suspects you trying to get her to be a health buff (which is the trend nowadays), and some teens like to be anti-pop, to show to the world they're unique & not naive to be swayed by what's popular. If that's the case, find out what's considered unique for her - skateboard, rock climbing, etc?

Or previously suggested activities seem mundane to her & she's looking for what would give her a rush - see above.

Hope this helps. I'd love to hear what you have to say, comments or criticisms - olson_rach

Answer 7

Both of your questions can be answered by simply reminding you that you're the parent. If this is what you know to be best for your daughter, you should do it. One suggestion I would make is to buy her a Wii. It's a game console that's interactive. People who play it actually lose weight and work up a sweat. It's Nintendo's answer to complaints about video games producing lazy kids- kind of like McDonald's salads in response to claims that fast food is to blame for fatties. If your daughter is already into watching TV and playing on the computer, the Wii would be a nice investment. She probably won't even realize how active she's being. :)

Answer 8

You should try to get her to do something active each day, even if it's only for a little while. Once she starts, hopefully she'll find that she is enjoying herself, and then she'll just start motivativating herself all on her own.

Try doing activities with her, such as going for a bike ride or playing catch outside. She is much more likely to do it if you do, too. Also, you could organize a "outdoor party" sort of thing every weekend or something - have a bunch of families come over for a cookout and let the kids play soccer, baseball, or tag football.

Answer 9

I think everybody goes through a stage where all they want to do is nothing.Since we live in a small town that's only 4 streets wide it got so boring... I remember at about 16 I was at a stage where all I wanted to do was sit in front of the computer, school depressed me, my "friends" depressed me, home life was getting annoying, my mother was busy with her job and we never did anything together... I was lonely and tired of the slowness of everything. Consider where you are from, maybe her surroundings are not keeping her happy. Instead of staying in town, try taking her on a "mother daughter" trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go, stay at a hotel with a spa and a swimming pool...do something to show her that life isn't so monotonous. Winter time is when most people get depressed, her "bored of life" stage might even be happening earlier. It's all about parent-child activities, invlove both of you instead of just her.

Also, I agree, try buying her the Dance Dance Revolution game, It'll open her up to a whole new world of moving. Exercising is going to make her sore if she's never done it before...so be sympathetic when she comes to you with pain .

Answer 10

One, get rid of the computer or at least make it completely off-limits to her, except for when she needs to do her homework. Monitor what she's doing to make sure she's doing homework instead of other things. Get rid of video games and the TV if she insists on staying in front of it all day.
Two, try to see if there are any team-softball leagues available in your area. Ask her to train with you for a marathon or something competitive. If all else fails, tell her that for every 30 minutes she spends on her fitness, she'll be allowed a certain amount of time on line. I.e. 30 minutes of on line time if she jogs for 30 minutes, 15 minutes on line if she does yoga etc..
Above all else, you need to take those things away from her that are preventing her from being active (and use them as a reward or privilege, not a given). She actually could be addicted to TV and the computer, which could cause serious issues in the future.
Also, I agree, you should try and get as involved as possible with her in her quest. Make it a team effort.