Should I just go pick up my child for visitation?

Question

I am to have every other weekend and she has not let me see him in the last 5 yrs. Today he turns 11yo. I have not had the money to go to court about this matter, but I am a father who has always been there really misses his son. I have asked her many times to see him and she has refused. I have just found out recently where they are. She has never told me where they live. Also, he has a little brother who is almost 5 that he has never met. Just want to go about it the right way. Please help

Answer 1

Don't just go and pick up your son from her house. She could call the police on you and say you are kidnapping your son, even though it's not true. If visitation was granted to you by the courts, then you need to talk to some one. She is violated that agreement and she could get into some serious trouble. Make an appointment to speak with an attorney and get this situation handled the proper way. Good Luck.

Answer 2

It's been 5 years and in all that time you haven't had the money to file a motion to enforce your visitation order??
Oh Bullsh*t... You could file a few sheets of paperwork for $25 at the clerks office and been in front of a judge "Pro Se" (w/o an attorney...this is simple stuff) way back when. You obviously haven't even chosen to make a simple phone call to inquire or you'd have known this. Therefore, I think you're full of irresponsible self pity..for sure.

At this point "No", you can't and shouldn't simply go pick up your son. As far as the courts are concerned you "legally abandoned" your son years ago and it sounds as though she could easily persue that avenue if she choses.

If you've not had anything to do with your son in 5 years, how are you stating that you are a father who has always been there???
Bottom line is that she couldn't have kept you from having a relationship with your son, she couldn't have kept her whereabouts a secret from you, etc... had you pursued it by even making a single phone call...but you didn't and now you want ppl to believe that you are this "poor, unsuspecting, loving parent" who was so brutally taken advantage of.

"Buzz".....Wrong....

Any judge would have heard your case 5 years ago and told your "X" to comply or go to jail and risk losing custody to you.

At this point, unless you intend to get your act together and be a responsible and consistant person in your son's life, I think you should just let it go and not bring confusion into your sons life.
I'm sure he's already felt the pain of "abandonment" by you. If you walk in and then come and go when you feel like it, it'll only make it worse for him. He may have a responsible, loving father as it is and be doing just fine... you apparently haven't really cared enough to even know that.

On the other hand, if you have recently had this epiphany and have "grown up" and want to make it up to your son, the best thing for you to do is attempt to talk with his mother first. If you truly are this new, wonderful person....Hopefully she is willing to forgive and believe you and cooperate in establishing and mantaining a relationship between the two of you. If you find that you have reached a brick wall with her, you can certainly file the necessary paperwork to request a hearing regarding the visitation matter and tell your story to the judge. He will decide where it goes from there.

Whatever you do, it would be wise to think of your son FIRST for a change.

BTW... Biology doesn't make you this childs father. Anyone can "produce" a child...

Answer 3

I wouldnt just go pick him up, she might have you arrested and it could get ugly.... You will need an attorney and go to court for her to obey the visitation requirements, see if your attorney will take payments so you can get this matter resolved....

Answer 4

I am afraid you can not go and pick up your son. Perhaps, you need to have some social worker to be there with you.