I use to have a really great relationship in every aspect of a relationship. Now, we are a great team with our girls and we are great friends but if I could put our sex life in a scale from 1-10 I’d rate it a 5. In the other hand, my husband sees our sex life as satisfying.
Communication is the key right? I’ve noticed communication only works if the other person is willing to listen. I have tried everything, I can think of to spice it up and nothing seems to work.
Now I ask myself, is this the way life goes, you do the school thing, get the career, the house, the children and just live the rest of your days enjoying everything you have worked for. While deep inside you walk around feeling like somewhere along the way a mistake was made.
You can't start over.
What would you do?
2007-03-09 01:28:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband and I too were having bedroom problems, I am so tired by the end of the day having been with a 2 year old and a 5 year old that sex was the last thing on my mind. Especially since we arent that old (only 30) and we used to be very active. I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me, it was like any sex drive had completely disappeared. Finally, I figured out what was wrong. My birth control pills. I know this sounds wierd, but its true. I started researching it and found that this is a very common side effect. I decided to try going off it and its gotten ALOT better. It wasnt a rut that we were in, it was what I was doing to myself. And condoms are a small price to pay for bedroom improvements.
I would look at your lifestyle and see if maybe, like there was for me, there is something thats causing this dissatisfaction with your sex life. But also, I would involve your husband in the discussion, since you want him to be aware of what you are doing. If he doesnt want to listen, I would sit him down at the kitchen table with the TV off and talk after the kids have gone to bed and he has had dinner.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-09 01:55:55 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, sister, but many many women would happily settle for the life you have just described. Men really are from Mars, the poor creatures, and it's really kind of sweet hearing that your husband is satisfied. Now we've got to get you perked up. I don't know what you've tried so far, but let's see? Have you had some sexy boudoir photos made just for him? Have you ever stripped for him, slowly and seductively? Belly danced? Tied him up with a pretty silk scarf? Make him a hot bath and surround the tub with votives. Give him a massage...everywhere. Get bold...go to an adult store and shop around. While you're there, buy yourself a little friend to give your back some good vibrations, if you get my drift. Don't give up; you really are living a dream. Sounds like you're going through a little dry spell, nothing gone so wrong it can't be adjusted.
2007-03-09 09:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about some kind of sex thearpy? I know its out there. I've also heard of couple's retreats where you focus on eachother and your sex life. You should look into it and as a gift to you guys send your selves away for th weekend. There I'm sure they will also teach you to communicate and how to improve. It is important that not only your husband be satisfied but that you are as well. I wouldn't give up just try a different approach. Good luck!
2007-03-09 09:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, please don't take some people's advice to have an affair...
Have you talked to your husband about the way you feel? Do you really make an effort to make it fun and exciting? Is there something going on with your husband that could be causing him to have a lack in his sex drive?
I'm not even married yet, so I'm not going to act as though I have all the answers...it just breaks my heart to hear of people giving up on their marriages because of things like this. There's always a way to work it out...don't give up.
Love him, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health...
2007-03-09 09:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by emay02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same boat, opposite sex. 34, 6 years of marriage, two kids. Wife is a my best friend, sex is more like a chore for both of us, or a quicky hook-up 1 night a week. I want more passion, more flavor. We seem to have sex just to keep the hormone levels down, not because we desire each other.
I bought a book from Amazon,The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling. for her for x mas. I suggested she read it in a not to subtle way. Its in her drawer collecting dust.
You might want to take a look to see if it's something you can use.
Also, rent the Marilin Monroe movie, Seven year itch. Just for a goof on your situation. It's about the issues of being married for seven years and the rut you get in.
2007-03-09 09:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by handy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that's just life and it happens to everyone, it's what you make of it. Only you can make the change or difference in your life, sometimes i dont really appreciate what I have in life and take it for granted and that makes me feel gulity because im always wondering why cant my life get any better, why isnt anything happening to me? Just be happy with what you have and enjoy it, i would be so happy to get married and have kids, i know im only 17 right now but i always think about getting married to the perfect guy and having a kid with him, i really want that, a speical bond. Your lucky, and its wonderful that you have 2 children :) continue loving them and your life :) its all about how you see things
2007-03-09 09:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by Dia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not unusual for married couples' sex life to diminish or for one partner to desire sex more than the other. If you can't start over then you need to do one of three things.
1. Get used to it.
2. Have an affair(s).
3. Determine what really turns your husband on and do more of that to get him in the bedroom.
2007-03-09 09:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would u start over? honestly you'd end up in the same situation. I'm not saying to just deal with it but once you have everything career kids marriage house,,,, what else are you looking for? you didnt miss anythign you just already have everything so be thankful for what you have and keep in mind how many of us out there dont have anything like that and would die for it. i know its hard for you but appreciate what you have its a rare thing.
2007-03-09 09:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by toolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-Lose weight
-Plan dates with your husband
-Get a babysitter! Yes, it's OK to send your kids away for a night.
-Do things that you haven't done in a while: go on a roller coaster, go rock climbing, canoing, get a romantic picnic for two in the park....date yoru husband.
-Buy some racy dvd's and re-enact what is being done there
-Get rid of your cotton confty granny panties and get some lacy, slutty underwear.
-Cold beer, short skirt and high heels always do the trick.
-Do no try it when he comes come home tired after work, Try staurday nigh instead.
In sumarry: Get a baby sitter, dress up and date your man.
Good luck
2007-03-09 10:01:29 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it... You have everything or more than most people. Sex, although it is important, is only a part of a successful relationship.
When your husband is ready, he will listen to you. Try to put a pea between your knees, it may get him to start listening.
2007-03-09 09:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋