3 year old having panic attacks before bed?

Question

My just turned 3 year old has started to have severe panic attacks before bed. It started about 3 weeks ago. She cries hysterically, and it takes about 2 hours to calm her down to finally fall asleep. Then, she is up every few hours during the night, and wakes up super early in the morning. She occasionally takes an hour nap during the day, but that doesn't seem to help her exhaustion. I am at a loss here... My hubby and I have tried everything, to no avail. Even if I sleep with my daughter, she still wakes up 3-4 times a night and wakes up around 7 am, even after going to bed sometimes past midnight. All of the women in my family have sleeping disorders, including myself, but never did they start at this early age. My daughter is a complete angel during the day, then when bedtime arives she does a complete 180. Any advice or anyone that has gone thru this? Thanks!

I do use the lavendar baby wash, I have since she was born. She is NOT having temper tantrums, it is an all out fear of going to sleep. We have done everything we can to make her room and bedtime as comforting as possible. She has been sleeping in her own room for most of her life, and has also had NO issues going to sleep before a few weeks ago. We have a set bedtime routine that has not changed one bit either. Ive even tried putting her down 2 hours before her usual time, and she ends up staying up 2 hours over. Her normal sleep time was 10-11pm thru 9 or 10am. Now shes barely getting 6 hours or so.

Answer 1

Wow, that's a tough one. Is she able to verbalize what seems to be making her so upset? Did she have a bad nightmare recently? Is she thinking there are monsters in her room? Will leaving a small light on help? I guess not, if even having you in the room doesn't help. What about keeping her up and physically active all day long (as much as possible) outdoors for fresh air, without a nap to see if she will sleep any better.

I suffer from insomnia myself and personally I have to make sure that I don't have any caffeine after 6-7pm to go to sleep by 11pm. I doubt you feed your daughter caffeine, but diet does play a role. Foods with tryptophan helps, such as turkey, milk, spinach, eggs etc. Carbs also helps so you might want to give her a turkey or egg sandwich with a glass of milk before bed. Just a thought. I also keep a lavender scented room spray and spray that just before I go to sleep. Lavender is believed to induce calmness and sleepiness. I liked the suggestion above about bathing her and using lavender scented bath products just before bed.

You might also want to ensure that her bedroom is a welcoming atmosphere for her. Do you send her there as punishment? That could be a contributing factor. Is she comfortable in her room, is it a calming, relaxing place for her to be or is it overstimulating and bright with lots of primary colours and too many things to distract her from sleep.

I would definitely take her to the doctor to rule out any medical problems though.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First off NO medication...people these days are so into pumping their kids full of anit-depresents and a millioin other things then they wonder why 18 year old kids are having heart attacks. Try this . . it worked for mine. . .

Start giving her a bath like an hour and a 1/2 before bed. Then make everything quiet for the rest of the time she's up. Give her wind down time. No T.V just books or if it's T.V make sure it's something relaxing not hyper and lay on the couch with her. Has she spent the night anywere lately? Something may have scared her somewhere else. This next part is VERY important . . . DO NOT LAY WITH HER. This will become a habit and you'll have a terrible time getting her to bed after that by herself. As you're taking her to bed tell her it's time for night night or whatever you say to her and that you love her and that you'll see her in the morning and that she needs to be a good girl and go to sleep. Don't even bring up no screaming. Mine did this for about 2 weeks and then she got out of it. It's hard to listen to her but you have to. Try one of those noise maker things where they sound like water falls and rain and stuff. They help, she will get over it, but you can't give in. Let me know if you need anything else, and good luck. [e-mail]

Answer 3

First call your doctor to rule out any medical trouble. Once that is done make sure she has a set routine. Do you warn her that bedtime is approaching? Sometimes giving a warning that bedtime is coming up in 15 then 10 then 5 mins really helps that way she dose not feel it all happened at once. If you give a bath before bed try using the lavender scent nighttime bath soap for babies to help sooth her

In light of the additonal info you posted please take her to the doctor and tell them about the issues with wemen in your family. DO NOT take no for an answer and DO NOT let them pull that oh you are just a nervous mom! Find out what is wrong with your child!

Answer 4

Reading your question took me back to my now 17 year olds sleeping problems....I went thru exactly the same thing. It really is more of an anxiety disorder....don't let anyone tell you it isn't! My daughter and I talk about it now and she still remembers it as being very scarey! It was so awful. I slept with her until she was asleep, until almost 7 years old. It didn't stop then, I just made the trip back and forth from my room to hers many times throughout the night. In all honesty, her sleep problems didn't go away until she was about 15 yrs old! She then started to take an anti-anxiety medication and a med for ADHD. (a very low dose of each in the morning only) She is definetly OCD too. Everything in her life has to be organized. She has "to-do" list, her room is immaculate, her clothes are organized and she has to stick to a solid routine to feel at ease. I am not into "drugs" for answers but this was definetly controlling our lives and it was very, very sad and frightening. She tells me now that she used to lay in bed and "worry" about falling asleep and "worry" about dreaming and that she even worried about worrying!!! She is an honor student, incrediably mature for 17 and absolutley a perfect, healthy teen-child. She needed to relax and found it difficult to do on her own. We tried relaxation therapy when she was about 12, tried music therapy when she was 12, nothing worked. She is tall, slim eats a great diet - she is vegetarian...there was nothing we could find that was contributing to this disorder. So, we started the pills....what a godsend......she is relaxed, confident and healthy. Please, please consult with a really good pediatrician....don't give up. You'll find the answers...in the meantime love your baby, read to her, talk to her, play relaxing music for her....not to much stimulation before bed, reassure her about her saftey..... and don't smoke around her and keep her environment and schedule consistent...Good luck!

Answer 5

I'm no schooled expert, but from personal experience, I can tell you that making the bedtime/sleep ritual fun for your toddler can make a world of difference... help her relax and enjoy going to bed. It doesn't take much time - never more than a half hour... and she deserves at least that much of my time and attention.

Here are a list of some of the rituals/suggestions I can share:

- I let her pick a story and read to her... now she's a bit older and she can read to me, so sometimes I let her read a story and then I read a story...

- I also suggest she pick out any stuffed animals/toys to sleep with her.

- I let her pick 2 songs out for me to sing to her...

- Sometimes I ask her what her favorite part of her day was... it gives her positive/pleasant thoughts to reflect on...

- Sometimes I give her a featherlight hand/head/face massage...

- The last thing we do before I leave her room is "invite" anyone she'd like to invite to protect and watch over her... sometimes it's mommy, sometimes it's daddy, sometimes it's one of the storybook characters from the story we read, sometimes it's hammy from over the hedge, sometimes it's unicorns and bunnies and butterflies... you get the idea. I also ask her who she wants to stay away while she sleeps and then say "..., you are not invited into (name)'s room. YOU stay away." As the adult, your authority is often enough to make her feel safe... Sometimes she decides to keep spiders away, sometimes lions, monsters... But it gives your child a bit of power over her personal security which is reinforced by adult authority - we don't spend long on this part of the evening routine, but it makes a big difference.

- I do actually tuck her in bed... you know - make sure she not tangled under the covers (she is restless and has a hard time sitting still/being still)...

- a soft nightlight never hurts

- a CD of your child's favorite music played low on "repeat all"... a few of our favorites - Enya, Christmas music (she LOVES Christmas music), some classical...

Good luck!

Answer 6

I understand that this is a psychological issue. I would talk with you pediatrician to get a referrel for a therapist who deals with small children an night terrors. Anxiety is a serious issue and if it is not dealt with now, it could get worse as she gets older. There are so many different anxieties that affect a person, that an expert evaluation may help determine what her actual anxieties are and how to deal with them, whether it is meds and therapy or just therapy. As a person who has anxiety disorder and sleep terrors, therapy has been the most effective solution for me. It really helped with identifying the anxiety and developing coping methods which I now do on my own.

Answer 7

I'm no doc here, but I'm thinking one of two things; she is getting older and knows more of what is going on and is getting more of an imagination and she may be scaring herself with her thoughts. Or she may have started getting night terrors and she may be one of the few that remembers them or just remembers the extreme fear. Night terrors can occur anytime in a person’s life, but the most common time is in children between the ages of three and five.

Try when she is calm to see if she can tell you what scares her about night sleep. You said she takes naps, so it does not sound like she has the same issue during the day.

If it’s her imagination - come up with a new routine. Try not to keep changing routines because that can cause just as much stress, but if after 3-4 days you will see if the new routine is helping or needs tweaking or possibly another plan. My eldest was afraid of 'bad men/monsters' so we started doing a sweep of the room (in closets and under bed) to make sure no one was there, we got him a small table light (more than a night light, like a 15w bulb) and then set up a 'perimeter' guard of his toughest stuffies. This worked wonders for him.

My 3 yr girl right now sees many 'ghosts' and it ends up being something that looks scary to her in the dark. We go together, she shows me the ghost, and then we turn on the light and really see what it was and make it funny.

Then it could be Night Terrors - these are quite different than nightmares and can occur anytime in a person’s life, but the most common time is in children between the ages of three and five.

My youngest has night terrors. He was just over 1 yr when they started. It is just heart wrenching (along with draining) to watch him go through it. He will be standing up, eyes open and yelling NO, Don't (or something), and sometime hitting the bed. It looks like he is awake, but he is still asleep. We calmly reassure him and work to gently awaken him. Once awake the terror immediately stops and he is ready to 'go back to sleep'. Then it takes dad and me another hour to get our hearts back to normal to go to sleep. :-)

They usually occur in the early part of the night, about 1 to 4 hours after going to sleep. Sleep walking, night wetting and night terrors all go together, so if you have family history on either side of any of the three, night terrors are more likely. All three happen in stage 4 sleep, not dream (REM) sleep and no one knows (yet) what really triggers them and why.

They are often triggered in children who are overtired. And if your daughter is struggling to stay awake it, unfortunately, could be feeding the cycle.

If this is night terrors it might help to wake her up BEFORE the time she usually has her first night terror. This is thought to interrupt or alter the sleep cycle and prevent night terrors from occurring (it also works for sleepwalking). We did this with our youngest and the terrors have GREATLY reduced.

It's hard, but take care - you all will do great! If you wish, email me and let me know how it goes.

Answer 8

My dd started doing this at bedtime once her little brother in law taught her about monsters!
She ended up on her mattress on our floor for almost a year.
I really wanted her to sleep in her own room, but her not sleeping = parents not sleeping! We finally put her back in there and she is doing great now. She is 4, by the way. She still thinks there are monsters, but she doesn't have the "freak outs" now.

Answer 9

Change her diet - NO sweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then, right before bed time give her some 'calming' warm tea.
I've never gone through this, or anyone in my family, but any attempt for an answer is better than none at all.
Good luck.

Answer 10

Talk to your pediatrician about night terrors! My little girl, shes two, has learned what monsters are and our house settles at night and she'll come running in our room saying " scary house noise". I had night terror as a little girl, basically i would have a bad dream and would partially be awake but the things in my dreams seemed to still be there when i opened my eyes and would often fight with my mother because i didnt recognize her.I suffered from exhaustion beacuse i refused to sleep as well. Please look this up and take it into consideration!