Who finds it hard to be a good parent?

Question

I love my kids and hope I'm doing a good job bringing them up and doing averagely well at school. But Sometimes it feels like such hard work.
The eldest is fine with others but very quite at home obviously thinks I'm an embrrassment ( which is very normal I know) but so hurtful all the same.
The youngest one struggles with reading and needs loads of input to achieve the basics

And at the end of it all they will all leave home and that will be it!

I think a bit of me origonal post got missed out all three kids are polite and we do have fun alot of the time

Thanks for all answers so far it's nice to know I'm in good company

Answer 1

Find a parent who says it isn't difficult to be a *good* parent and I'll show you a person who is either a liar or indifferent and clueless! There is nothing harder.

My children are only toddlers, but the difficulty amazes me every day and I know that this is only the very very beginning. Most of my difficulties right now are physical, to be sure -- chasing twins around is a job more suited to someone younger than I am (although the psychological challenges make me glad I'm not a teenager doing this!). And I know that as they grow the challenges will become increasingly, and exponentially, complex. Even so, I worry every day about whether I'm doing a good job and what I'm teaching them.

The fact that you're obviously thinking about this, and aware of your kids' needs (and strengths, I think, judging from what you say about your eldest's social skills away from home), says to me that you're probably doing a good job. Honestly, the fact that in this day and age you're able to worry about reading skills and socialization, and not behavior problems and drug use, is a very good thing already.

Answer 2

I think it is hard to be a good parent. I love my children more than anything but I always worry that I'm not good enough. They ask me to play a game and I feel like I'm always telling them no. I don't want to but I am so busy with everything else. They are still young (7 and 8) so I ask them to help me cook so we can spend time together but I know what you mean. It is HARD being a parent. My son is really into sports and I try to let him do it all but it's really hard sometimes just getting him where he needs to go. He's not spoiled or anything. He doesn't expect this from me but he really loves sports and I know that it is good for him so I do it. I feel like I can't stretch myself any further sometimes. I was a stay at home mom until this year. Last year my youngest started school so I had more free time. I organized a parent volunteer program at the school and would sub for the assistants. This year I am a full time assistant at the school so I am finding it hard to get it all done while being away from the house so much. I use to do my housework, etc. while they were at school so I had plenty of time to help with homework or spend time with them. Now I feel like I am neglecting them while I cook dinner or fold clothes... Truthfully I know that I am doing the best that I can and I love my kids with all of my heart but I think that as a parent you are always feeling guilty no matter what. I feel guilty if I spend any time for myself. When I am on here doing this they are in bed so I end up staying up and not getting the sleep that I need. All of this is just being a parent... it's definitely not easy.

Answer 3

I have one daughter, seven, and a son, 4 months. I remember, like it was yesterday, holding my daughter after she was born and being TERRIFIED. I couldn't believe that this life had been intrusted to me! I was responsible for making sure she was healthy and safe. What a big responsibility!! Now, I'm feeling just as inadequate of a parent. My daughter's been acting out and seems to be in this phase of not wanting to brush her teeth, wear clean clothes, or wash her face. She's constantly leaving her homework at school or at home. I gave her a check Monday to turn in for her text books and found it in her bag last night! I try to help her with her homework (my husband usually works until 8:00 p.m.), but as soon as I start, the baby's hungry or wants attention. I work full time, so I obviously want some time, even an hour, to just sit back and relax and then I feel guilty because they need me too.

In short, I think we all have these moments when we feel like the world's worst parents! We're not, I know that. But, it's definitly harder than any other job I've had - but a lot more rewarding! :)

Answer 4

i'm a father of 4 by 3 different women and only see them weekends and even then it's hard work. is being a parent supposed to be easy? if so then for centurys we have all been doing pretty crumby jobs. all kids develop different, some read, some dont, others learn to walk at an early age others are late walkers. the way kids grow isn't always a reflection on their upbringing.

Answer 5

i am lucky I can relate to whats going on, watch Kidulthood and understand how tough it is for kids now. If the younger one struggles with reading it may be because they have a high right brain use rather than just remembering they think making it harder for them to learn. You need to learn how to get on there level you may be out of touch and live in a bubble world they do not relate 2. Things are so different now I am sure the fact you care proves you are a good parent and yes it is hard

Answer 6

theres no such thing as a perfect parent, just good enough parents. I think any parent who agonises over being a good parent will be doing a good enough job, it is these parents that ask for support, think about the way theyve handled situations and ways to improve. It is the people who say they are great mums that i worry about and in my experience its these that have the most problems with their kids. I feel exactly like you,and many other mums getting through as best they can, and sure we make mistakes but we admit them and learn from them...keep up the good work you sound like your good enough to me.x

Answer 7

I have 4 kids 2 girls 2 boys. I have made lots of mistakes in my time but try to improve my parenting skills as often as possible. I read books, attend parenting classes, etc.
The best gift you can give your kids is your TIME. I let them know they can talk to me about anything. My daughter who is 19 tells me too much about the college life. My 16 year old
does not tell me as much but I ask her about her day everyday. The kids fight over having private time with me.
I am going thru a horrific divorce and everyone asked how the kids are ? They are better than the parents. Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

Well i'm a single mother of 1 and yes it is such hard work, i find the day to day of it all ok i'm quite lucky that my son is really a great child however my biggest concern is the thought that all my actions and decisions involving his life make him and his life the way it will be forever like what school he goes to, how you disipline them, how you answer their questions about life its quite scary to think you are truly responsible for another persons life and the way it will turn them out.

Answer 9

Toughest job in the WORLD!! Their ages of devel'mt are all hitting you are the same time!! I had one daughter and so had time to deal with each stage at a time. Now I'm watching her raise three little children and marvel at how good she is at it!! I think Unconditional Love WITH clear limits and reasonable consequences that are followed-through by you and the child could sum up the "How To's". You obviously know the stages, and good for you! Sibling rivalry can bring stress. One technique I used with my daughter when she was making fun of me for the merriment of her friends--do this BEFORE you lose control of their transportation! I talked privately with K and let her know that I don't like her joking about me to friends and that the next time she chooses to do so, I'd choose to make a U-turn, go back home and she could find alternate transport. I wasn't angry--just stating a fact. She forgot about it, of course, and I WORDLESSLY followed through, taking her and her friend back home to find alternate approved transportation--which she couldn't do. THAT was the last time I heard any "disrespect" in front of others. Hold in there--the time ultimately goes so fast and they are out of your home all too soon. I used to take her to lunch each week on Fridays just to have a special time with her! We both enjoyed that time together and remember it still!! Older ones become so busy, it's hard to do, but that time really pays off for both the rest of our lives!!! I'm starting to do that with my oldest Grandson, 12 yrs. It's so easy to be engulfed with the other two younger Grandchildren, that I realized I have to make special time with him--in his time schedule!! Also, try to find a "Mother's Group" somewhere--organize it if you have to. Not just to "complain" but to SHARE IDEAS and feelings.

Answer 10

I think being a parent is the hardest job in the world. You constantly worry and hope that you are making the right decisions. I wish they made an instruction manuel.