Grandpa giving up can someone please help me...?

Question

for about 4 years now my grandpa has been really depressed or something.First i'll give you some background my grandpa
was born in 1942 and he grew up in a little town in texas working the fields and he grew up in a big familly with all sisters,he got married to my grandma and had a son(my uncle)and a daughter(my mom)he worked hard with little education making just enough money to live happily,after about 7 years my grandparents bought a house,they were happy my grandpa was always the one to get up and go to church or go outside and work in the yard or fix something...he had a good job they live happily,kids graduated and moved out(not far)he kept up with his jobe till he was about 61 when he was laid off,and just sat there,about 4 years now hes been sick deppressed he stays in bed saying its cold outside he dosent even like to go shopping anymore he dosent like to go outside dosent even go to church im so confused and family is going sick with confusision any of this sound familiar??

Please help we're really desperate we've tried medicine he'll pretend to take it but then secretly spit it out wrap it in a napkin and throw it in trash he had won a settlement for something about 6 years ago and has since been getting monthly check lately they havent been coming my grandma thinks he called and told them not to send anymore, we have land out a few miles away with cows you know and he wont go near them he says hes scared, hes the youngest out of all his girl siblings one recently passed on he didnt even want to go to the funeral his sister calls and invites him over for dinner he dosent even get out of bed, since he was working hes lost lots of weight.He wont go to a doctor hes just 65 years old it seems like hes lost the will to live my grandma retired about 3 years ago she planned to go travel together shes full of life i love her very much shes so confused shes really hurting...please help...any of this sound familiar????

Answer 1

Your Grampa certainly seems to be exhibiting symptoms of depression and at this point he will probably need meds to help him begin to recover even though it may have been triggered by a situational event. It's not uncommon for people who have always had a very strong investment in their role as head of a family and breadwinner to be devastated by a change in circumstance that takes away this role. Your Grampa is grieving the loss of his role, but unfortunately he has become stuck in the grief and really may need meds to help pull him out. Once a person remains depressed for a long period, it does affect their biochemistry and it sounds like this happened to grampa as there was no previous history mentioned of a mood disorder. Once this is corrected he may be able to move on and develop new roles for himself that enable him to feel udeful and productive and he may no longer need the meds. You and your family can help by letting him know your concerns and how much you all obviously love him and need him and ask him to seek help for your sake as well as his own. He will need to redefine his life in a way that feels meaningful to him again. It's something people often experience when they retire too, especially men who's sense of self-esteem is often very connected to their work and role. If he gets some treatment to get him unstuck he has a really good prognosis.

Answer 2

okay so you care right . thats a good start . first thing i'd do take him to the DR. make sure its not an issue of his physical well being . then i'd prepare a pep talk cover the issues that most effect him let him know there are alot of things he can do important things that make him feel needed and useful things. i wouldn't push to hard just to let him know i cared. then id find some activities i could accompany him on make him think it was something i wanted to do. my uncle was similar so i started a route with meals on wheels delivering food to the elderly.i made up an excuse why i needed his help after a couple weeks i started skipping a day or two and said how sad i was that i had to skip that day .he stepped up to the plate and covered for me, more and more . eventually he fired me and took over running things. 2 years later the local paper did a human interest piece on him followed by the news teams and he gave me a stern talking to about letting people down he holds his head high now and the people on his route are like family to him.he just needed to feel needed .that may not work for you but because you care and are willing to do for him you can help him just try and see my prayers are with him.

Answer 3

Well I'm afraid to say ya i think he has given up the will to live. to start off with he knows when the time is near no one will now but him ya you will see him getting worse but he knows why he is doing all this hes in to much pain and dint wanna suffer any more. and I'm sorry you,r family is going threw this and poor grandma is the one suffering the worst i fecal so bad for her but deep inside grandma knows exact ally why hes doing this she knows how much pain he is in she has lived with hI'm for so many yrs she knows when he is sick and in pain and angry and tired .....etc... if he has given up you wont change his mind on this im telling ya just comfort him and be by his side as much as you all can cause Hun i dint think he has many more days here. I'm only telling ya truth. tell him if he needs to go home to heaven then he is free to go you will always love him and miss him and be sure to let him know you will take real good care of grandma because he will need that comfort that someone will take good care of her. my prayers go out to you and you,r family may the lord watch over your family and make this as easy as poss able .

Answer 4

Grandpa is depressed and needs to see a doctor. He probably feels he no longer has a purpose in life. He needs to get interested again in something. If the family can't get him interested in something by asking him to help them or giving him something to do, call mental health crisis tap line 1-800-222-9016. He is much to young to give up on life.

Answer 5

I think it has to do with being laid off from working. He's a man from an era that thrived on work, that was his purpose. To work and provide for his family. Being laid off takes that away from him. He probably feels helpless and unable to provide. Try finding odds and ends that might be broken and ask him for his advice or help fixing it. Spend some time just talking to him and ask about things when he was a young boy and growing up. I used to sit with my grandparents for hours and they'd tell me stories of when they were younger and funny things that happened to them. Best of luck, I really hope he starts feeling more like himself.

Answer 6

I'd try to get a visiting nurse in to see your grandpa asap

Answer 7

well, he is pretty old...maybe it is because he (i don't know) but lost his wife, or all his grandchildern are in college and maybe you should just give him extra love!
that will always help! :)

Answer 8

try & get him to take walks with you & then increse activities gradualy