Im 23years old male have anxiety and drug issues and am seeing a 26 yr old counsellor and i really like her, of course i don;t expect her to like me as it would be unproffesional and im a f***** loser, but she is reducing the sessions with me and reffering me to someone else soon so i won't see her again. I am extremely distressed, angry and i feel like i want to cry, every time i find someone i like or that helps me they just leave out of my life. I could bloody kill someone im sick of this s***. I don't know why this is affecting me so much?
2007-03-09 00:52:10 · 6 answers · asked by nightdreamer 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i know how you feel. its so hard, it really is. i was seeing one counselor and she left and refered me to another - i was so upset as i thought no one could compare to her and that i needed "her" - however, i went to the next counselor and felt exactly the same way after a few sessions about her and totally forgot about the old one. the new one i saw for a while, and this has come to an end - now i feel lost again. how will i ever be able to live without her, etc etc! she and the counseling had become the most important thing in my life.
please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and that these feelings are totally natural. it very common to wish your counselor was your lover, mother, father, friend, etc.... to want to have them in your life forever. most people go through this. to be honest, it makes me wonder if therapy is good thing or not...........if you are anything like me, then you will be feeling now like you need counseling for your counseling! - which is just stupid!
time will get you over this person. trust me.
2007-03-09 07:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very common to be attracted to your counselor. She is helping you. But you've got to remember that it's her job - it's not real life and it's not how she would treat you if you were friends or "on the outside". She gets paid to pay attention to you for an hour each week (or whatever). Take a deep breath and realize that seeing someone else will be good for you. Just go with the flow. Hang in there and work through your issues. You can do it! There are some really good support chat rooms online. Seek out others!!! :) Good luck!
2007-03-09 08:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by searching_please 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are supposed to like your counsellor. It is not wrong, but, you are continuing to call yourself a f**** loser which is part of the reason you needed counseling in the first place. Yuo could've done nothing to 'make' her keep seeing you as a client. She has to know when to let you go or face professional misconduct - falling in love with her client. This is part of the hazard of counseling work. Counselors are trained to be empathic so that their clients can receive enough positive feelings to be able to function appropriately on their own. If she did fall in love with you, that'll mean you don't need to 'work' hard anymore at finding strength in yourself.
Now, you do need to grieve over her. This'll really grow you up since you did receve some measure of empathy from her which you can access when you start 'kicking' yourself again. No guilt grief. Do it, you'll get over her in time.
2007-03-09 09:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by thru a glass darkly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi... we can get attached to our therapists and counsellors because we come to trust and depend upon them.
It's not unusual to "like" them, as you say, but it's unethical for a counsellor to become involved with their patients.
When we switch counsellors, we sort of have to "start over" too... so that's not easy either! But you can do it!
I'm sure your counsellor is doing what is best for YOU right now.
and please remember, everyone comes in and and goes out of our lives for a reason -- take the good from your experiences and try to be happy for the memories and help you received.
by the way, you're not a loser!
2007-03-09 09:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is someone you have trusted & have rapport with, it often leads to transference (feelings for your counsellor). They will often pull back as they are professionals, it is not uncommon also for them to be rotated or refer you on after a period of time. Sometimes they also reduce the sessions as part of your empowerment in taking control of your life.
Good luck.
2007-03-09 14:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by riverdanceboi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite common for patients to become enamored with their therapists/counselors. It is very unlikely that she feels the same about you--she's just doing her job. Tell her how you feel, it's important for your health and recovery. Good luck.
2007-03-09 09:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋