Who vs. Whom?

Question

When do you use whom, rather than who? And also, when do you use affect vs. effect?

Nearly a year ago, I used who instead of whom and this guy corrected me in the meanest tone humanly possible. I was so embarrassed so I responded with, 'well, english is my second language.' (it really is my second language, but I've been speaking it for 20 years). He responded with 'if you're going to speak it, speak it right.' It obviously hurt pretty badly, and I never want to make that mistake again. I guess he didn't care about the books I've written or the medical degree I'm aquiring. To him, I was just a dumb immigrant.

Thanks so much

Answer 1

WHO CAME HOME LAST NIGHT? In this question there should be no M. Who is the subject of the sentence, which means that "who" is the doer of the action.

WHOM DID YOU SEE? In this sentence YOU is the subject of the sentence and WHOM is the object, which is the receiver of the action.

Answer 2

The answer to your question has already been provided.

For a bit of insight... I believe that most of the people with this sort of rude attitude only speak one language themselves (often incorrectly.)

English is such a difficult and inconsistent language that I am amazed that people who speak it as a second, third or fourth language speak it so well!
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Answer 3

I'm not impressed by this chap. If he spoke English correctly, he would have said "speak it correctly/properly." "Right" is an adjective, not an adverb. But as you will see from this link, although pedants like me use "whom" where appropriate, many people don't, to such an extent that the BBC, which prides itself on its correct usage, is condoning this trend. http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv47.shtml

Answer 4

Very few Americans know the difference, so don't feel bad that that guy was an inconsiderate as*! The first answer is the right one!

Answer 5

he was just an ******. Don't let it bug you. A good share of educated native speakers don't use whom or use it incorrectly. Here are some links to the rule for future use.