My father is thinking about donating his body to medical research after he dies. While I can respect his motives I feel like it's cheating me out of my opportunity to grieve for him. Has anyone had a family member do this? What was your experience? He's asked myself and my siblings for our opinions but I need more information and the university website provides.
2007-03-09 00:39:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi Mandy! I know you're struggling with this, but it really is HIS choice. It's up to you to get past the thought of not being able to grieve properly. Grieving is an emotional process, and has nothing to do with whether his body is in the ground or not. I think you'll still have the opportunity to see him after he dies, (in the coffin... sorry) before his body is sent to the university. I know this is hard to discuss and read, but it's part of letting go of someone. He will be forever in your heart, along with all the wonderful memories you will have of him... those things you never have to let go of! But as we all know, he doesn't need that body anymore after he passes. He is volunteering to do something to help people learn... to further the cause of medical education. And that helps all of us!!! It's a very selfless act, and I think you'll be proud of him when you get through all of this! Good luck!!!
2007-03-09 00:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to offend you but I think you are being selfish. Everyone should donate thier bodies for the good of all humanity. You don't have to see someones body to grieve for starters and you will still be able to see him anyway. When your father dies his soul will be gone, he will just be an empty shell, just like the rest of us. We are spirits living a human existance not the other way around. His spirit will stay right there with you for a long time. Your father is choosing to do a very practical thing that helps the medical world in a great way not to mention what his organs could do for other people just like you and your family. Trust me, when dealing with the loss of a parent the last thing you will be worried about will be where his flesh and bones are going. He must be a great person to make this decision. Selfish people keep all of thier useless parts for themselves and pump thier bodies up with preservatives and burry themselves in the ground inside a concrete vault. That is just being wasteful. Please respect your Father's wishes.
2007-03-09 09:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by emce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn’t stealing anything from you. Your objection is stealing from him. His last wish is to help people. He wants to do something good with his body. Your father won’t be in his body after he dies, nor will he be at a cemetery. He will live on in you hearts and minds. My mother was cremated so that no one would be crying over a whole in the ground. She would not be there. She wanted us to remember her life and love. A body does not mean that you cannot mourn. I do not mean to sound cold, but he would just be a body in a box. By donating his body, he can help people and contribute to medical advancements and learning. If everyone felt that they would be stealing from their families by not donating organs or their bodies, medical science would never advance.
2007-03-09 09:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by starwberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, you are not being robbed of the opportunity to grieve for him, that is a wonderful thing where he might save another persons life, kind of like a part of him living on, helping others. Put yourself on the other side, say a family member of yours needed an organ, wouldn't you be so grateful to the person or persons family that donated it?
2007-03-09 08:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by syd p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have any experience of this, but i think that i would feel cheated like you do. However, it is your fathers choice, and you have to respect his wishes, and be happy for him. My grandad was cremated, and i thought that was awful - everyone else i have ever lost has been buried, so the cremation was terrible for me - i had no where to go afterwards, as the ashes were scattered in a field! But time is a great healer, and your fathers spirit will always be with you, no matter what he decides to do with his body. (maybe you will change his mind) Keep your chin up love, and i hope you have loads more happy years with your father before you have to deal with any of this!!
2007-03-09 08:45:09 · answer #5 · answered by littlekitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think this is taking something from YOU? Having a body in front of you is not essential for grieving. You should be proud that he is doing this - there are many, many people who are waiting for organs and need help. He gets to live on through them and you get to live on knowing what a great selfless thing your Dad has done for humanity.
2007-03-09 08:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by Ker Plunk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're against it he can donate his organs, that way he's helping others and his organs will live on and help someone everyday AND you guys will still get the proper burial and you'll get to meet a person who's heart or eyes you're very familiar with. Everyone wins:
He gets to help others,
The people who need the organs get to live better lives
Parts of him will live on
The kids get to bury and grieve the father's loss
I have donated my organs for after my death.
2007-03-09 08:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by TJTB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your father is doing what he really wants, then you should be happy knowing that he'll go the way he wants. But if it really bothers you, tell him what you just told us. He probably doesn't know that you feel this way.
Also, I think that it's possible to still be cremated after the medical research is done. I could be wrong, though. Good luck.
2007-03-09 08:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can still grieve for him. i know how it feels a friend of mine did that and we had a funeral for him and i feel as if they are donateing there bodys to science it is helping us understand that there are things out there that we all can get and with that they can understand the funtcantion of the body and know how to treat what some people get. they say that theres alot of different ways a person shows feelings. i know when its my time i would want my family to know that i love them and that i did this for them to show them that i love them...
2007-03-09 08:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by january s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also wish to give my body to science. Why does it matter what happens to our bodies? I hate the thought of my loved ones thinking they have to go to a cemetery to talk to me when I am dead. My husbands mother is buried 7 hours away from us and it bothers him that he can't go visit her. After they are done with his body you can keep his ashes. Death isn't a time for being sad when it is a person that lived a full life. Its a time to remember the good things about that person.
2007-03-09 09:34:08 · answer #10 · answered by Tina L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋