the reason i say this is because he doesnt want me to go out to some of the clubs hes at and i asked him why and he just says that he doesnt want me to worry about him, and harrassing him...wich i wont, but it sounds fishy to me...well 2 day is friday again and im kind of calm at the fact he's going out and im not but either how i feel like he's hiding something..well i've been meeting alot of ne people in myspace from my neighborhood and school and im really just about to just have my little friends on the side, without having sex or anything like that..i mean should i? i want to really have him as mine forever but for him he likes going out to clubs every friday.i dont know, i feel like our relationship is not going to last and i know is because of the club issue, and i dont have any saying about the club because he says he's a grown man. amd he does what he wants, i dont think is going 2 work, but should i stick around and just make friends on the side and flirt witohout him knowing
2007-03-09 00:34:53 · 15 answers · asked by dat_sweetmami 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my boyfriend was quite the same.you should just turn up and hide, dont let him see you and spy!!lol thats what i did, i was a bit of a bunny boiler though!!
i dont care anymore though! x
2007-03-09 00:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by xloux 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you already have friends of your own? Like female friends so you could get together with him and have your 'girls night out' when he has his guys night out? Or are you sitting at home alone worrying about it every time he is out. Rather than going and getting someone behind is back (no matter how innocent you try to make it sound, it sounds like you plan to cheat) why don't you just end the relationship because it sounds like you have some trust issues and you are contemplating going behind his back. I'm guessing that you are both pretty young...take this time to enjoy the single life...you'll have plenty of time for committed relationships further down the road with someone you are more compatible with.
By the way...every single Friday night is a bit excessive for boy's night out. Go ahead and show up at the club if you want, but lemme tell ya, even if nothing bad is going on, it leads to people being uncomfortable. My ex did this to me all the time - I had one or two Fridays a month I'd go out with co-workers...start at happy hour and go pretty much all night...he'd show up either alone or with his friends and would be a total *** the whole time. After I left him, he'd show up at the clubs he knew I'd be, but would hide and spy on me...I'd find this out later...very creepy and my dad tried to talk me into a restraining order.
2007-03-09 08:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go out to some clubs tonight with your friends!!!! Call him right now, tell him that you hope he doesn't mind, but you have plans tonight and won't be home till late. Don't say what your plans are, just say you have plans. If he asks, just tell him you're going out with some friends. If he asks where, say you don't know yet, no official plans have been made. Then, go out, stay out late and have fun without him.If this is what he wants, then this is what he should get. Does he think you should just sit at home every Fri. night alone???!!!!! Yeah, it does sound fishy what he's doing. So give him a taste of his own medicine. Call up some friends now and make some plans! You might meet someone new who will take YOU out every Fri. night and not leave you at home!!!!!
2007-03-09 08:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay... read between the lines of your own letter. He's going out every Friday instead of spending that time with you... what's up with that? If you love someone, you spend time with them, you want to go places and do things with them. Every once in awhile going out with friends is okay, but certainly not every week!! The fact that he says "I'm a grown man and can do what I want" says that he's not ready for a committment... what he's really saying is that he wants to be free to come and go without answering for himself... but what would he say if you did the same??? You should ask him how he'd feel if you went out to the clubs every Friday, and wouldn't tell him where... and said you can do whatever you want? My guess is he wouldn't like it. You need someone who WANTS to spend those fun Friday nights with you, not someone who just wants a warm body when he's bored. You deserve better!!! Oh... and don't start flirting around behind his back, that would put you in the same category... and you're better than that.
2007-03-09 08:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by JP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know what's going on here but, from my perspective, I think you're reading way too much into what your boyfriend is doing.
He may just want time spent alone with his mates...so why don't you have a girls night out with your friends? I don't think finding friends online and flirting around is a good thing for your relationship.
You said he's a grown man....I'm just wondering how old you are, you sound young and immature (that's not necessarily a bad thing)...maybe you're just not ready for a serious relationship yet.
2007-03-09 08:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You spend too much time worrying about it. Go to the club and see what he's doing. Then you might not have to worry about having new friends. No boyfriend of mine is going to have night out with the boys every friday night and leave me home, sorry. He is up to something.
2007-03-09 08:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by Baw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that, have that conversation with him. It's OK to have guy friends, just know your boyfriend well enough so he doesn't get jealous, like don't go have sex with other guys. But talk to him and tell him whats bothering you but whatever you do don't make him choose between you or his friends, because if he's ditching you every night he's going to choose his friends. That could change and probably will with time. Just find out what's happening.
2007-03-09 08:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by king cody 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whole point of a boys night out is so that we can lear at other women within the safe confines of our male group, but not act on it. Men are genetically predisposed to lear at other women. Men need to relax with other men, talk about nonsense, sport, particle physics and all things manly. Let your BF be, and let him have some fun, cause if he is unhappy u'll be unhappy
2007-03-09 08:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Wookie the Cookie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why can't you go to the clubs with him? That's very odd. Do what you want especially if you haven't been dating for very long or it isn't very serious. Having a 'boys night out' every weekend is goofy and immature. Either that or he's cheating.
2007-03-09 08:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
so he says he can do what he wants because he is a grown man...well, you are a grown woman and you can do what you want...including going out to the clubs he is at when he goes out on Fridays. If you see him there smile wave and go on with your friends...if he wants to make contact, let him make it. What is fair for him is also fair for you.
be cool...
2007-03-09 08:43:43 · answer #10 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning to start messing around, then you need to just let it go with this guy first..With both of you messing around, it is not going to work....
2007-03-09 08:46:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋