I have been dating a man for 9 mos, we're both in our 30's. He has been the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met. Always doing thoughtful things, likes my kids, he'd send text messages throughout the day, we'd talk on the phone every night for at least an hour. We live an hour apart, but he spent every weekend here. He said he loved me all the time, even talked about marriage in the future. In all this time, we never argued, until last week, and it was over something trivial.
Now, he's not calling, only texts if I do first, and isn't answering my calls. His last message said, "I care about you a lot, I just need a break."
Is this just a way of breaking up without actually saying it? Or is this a way of dealing with his anger of the argument? I don't understand how someone's feelings and attitude could change so suddenly. And before you say just ask him, I have. I just keep getting the I need a break answer.
2007-03-08 15:46:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just wanted to add, I don't THINK there's another woman, but of course am not stupid enough to entirely rule it out. His divorce was because his ex-wife cheated on him. This hurt him very deeply and he always said he'd never do that.
2007-03-09 07:02:56 · update #1
I think you should give this man ALL the time he wants. I would ignore him, or tell him (if or when) he contacts YOU , that you are not ready to get back together in a relationship with him. You really need to think of your children. You stated that he liked your kids, so obviously he spent time with them, and they probably got somewhat attached to this man. If you had a fight over something trivial,and he over reacted to the point of "needing a break"?then he is either looking for an easy way out with a poor excuse, or can not deal with a ready made family. I hope your children are not too affected, by this breakup. Find a guy who Loves you and your children, has character, and is a man in the true sense of the word. Good Luck to you and your family.
2007-03-16 09:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't have a Good answer for you, but after 9 months it seems you guys should have been farther along. How do you not have any arguments in 9 months. sorry answering a question with a question. He sounds like a good guy. I hope it works out for you. Maybe you can try letting him know how much you want him,and then if he still tells you he needs a break it probably would be best to move on.
2007-03-16 22:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by ME!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he deeply cared for you, but you guys got together in a very unstable time in his life. There was a time when I would date and meet people that I liked, but I had just left a long term relationship. Often time I would stop calling these people because I simply wasn't emotionally detached from my previous relationship. Just give him some time if he is worth it. But don't wait too long if you feel he is no longer serious.
2007-03-16 23:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sharisse F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be he is in some problem with his personal things or....
would have thought that he is more into you and wants to see things in a different way and nothing more than that ...
just give him some time he might come back
Or just try sending him some message asking whether he is worried about something or bored of you....
He might reply back immediately with the thought of not hurting you
Good Luck
2007-03-08 23:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Raj 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anger over an argument is common. Also having an argument over something is great it is definately COMMUNICATION...and that is a very important part of a relationship. Time is all that is needed to cool off the flames the argument has set forth....Dont allow your mind to create things that arent existant....He'll call....just watch and see....
2007-03-16 21:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give the man some space,so that he can cool off a bit.when someone is telling you that they need a break,let them have it,unless you want to be the nagging queen..give him a week or so with no calls or texts.and then try to call him,if he's not responding,then you just have to let him go,otherwise you will just make you're self mad.hope it works out for you!
2007-03-16 22:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by tiram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just needs some space. He could just be managing his anger. I don't really know about the other woman thing, because i don't see why he would do that to you, if it hurt him so greatly, but i wouldn't role it out. Good luck.
2007-03-16 18:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by mysterious girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Makes me wonder just what your argument was over, how could it do such severe damage to a relationship, may be he finally figured out that he's in a situation that he does not want to be in anymore, and dont know how he should tell you
2007-03-16 20:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by DesiGirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he got bored and moved on without you.. since he obviously cares about you (but does not want to be with you) hes not going to say it outright cuz he doesn't want to hurt you. He may take a break and still come back but then you have to decide if you want to be with a guy who is unreliable. also guys always need sex so if your not giving it to him anymore then hes going to be looking for it from someone else soon.
its a hard truth..
2007-03-08 23:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by mixmaster_havoc 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When a guy says he needs a break.... give him a break.... DON'T CALL, DON'T LOOK BACK..... ruuuuuuuun. Now you know how he handles problems. You never really know someone until you have your first fight. Now you know him. He bails.
Forget about what he's telling you. WHAT DO HIS ACTIONS SAY?
2007-03-16 22:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by lady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋