When I tell a girl my true feelings about her, does that mean I have to tell her all of them?

Question

I decided to talk to the girl I miss and tel lher how I really feel about her, that I just want us to be friends again. The only thing is that I love her. I also think she's got to be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen even though my boys think she's just alright. I implied I was in love with her the last time we talked (online), saying "peope do stupid things when they're in love." She said " YOU WAS NOT IN LOVE, so dont say that, stop talking like that!" The conversation ended with me saying "It wasn't lust, but it's fine if you think I never loved you." I don't think I said that last sentence right, I meant that I respected her thought but she may have thought something else because she said "whatever" and signed off ten minutes afterward with no reply from me (I gave up). Since then we haven't talked in a long time (months), I gave her space. I want to tell her how I really feel, but do I need to keep the fact that I love her to myself to keep from scaring her off or worse?

I saw an answer where a girl said "If a man loved me he'd better tell me. Even if she doesn't share your exact feelings, it's great to know that you are loved. And maybe her feelings will grow with time." So now I'm confused. I basically just want to tell her I care about her and I want us to be friends again if it's ok with her.

Her 17th birthday's in a couple of weeks (we're a month and a couple weeks apart in age, I'm older) what do I get for her (if anything, if I should (I want to) or shouldn't)

I forgot to explain it was something I had done was why I said "people do stupid things when they're in love"

Answer 1

so first i'll answer the question and say yes you have to tell her all of your true feelings. If you love her then you love her. If you love her, you probably will not want to be friends for too long because of the feelings you have for her. From her reply when you mentioned love to her, it sounded like she was scared. I mean if she didn't love you or care about you she would have said something to that effect. Like she just wants to be friends or saying she doesn't feel the same way. The last thing you said about it not being lust didn't really sound too bad. I mean it sounded a little sarcastic and like you didn't care whether she believed you or not. I wouldn't get offended over that. I'd feel bad for not believing you, but I wouldn't be mad that you said that. But maybe she's different. I think it's a little weird that you haven't talked in a while, so you may want to start up a conversation between the two of you just so it won't be so awkward when you tell her how you feel. I mean assuming that you tell her of course. From everything you said, I think you should go ahead and tell her how you really feel. Girls like to know how guys really feel and not how they think we want them to feel. She may be scared by it, but you will have this off your chest. It can get pretty hard keeping something like that to yourself and no matter what happens you'll feel better that you told her. If things don't work out, then maybe she's just not for you. But i hope you tell her and everything goes well.

Answer 2

If you don't get in touch with her soon, she'll think she was right and you didn't love her, then or now. Don't scare her off by pushing the love issue. She may not be ready for that yet. Just keep in touch and be her friend, keeping your love to yourself in conversation, and show her how special she is to you. Do it with your actions. Later on, you will know if she is ready to hear you say you love her. As for a gift, something simple, but pretty that will bring a smile to her face. You know how she is and what makes her smile so it is up to you there. Just tell her it is a little something to let her know she is still on you mind and tell her she is the greatest. Let it go at that and think of ways to show her how much you really care. Be careful, because love can hurt really bad sometimes. I'd hate to know she really broke your heart after all of this. Best wishes to you. I hope you find your happiness in her.

Answer 3

Oh man!!

How old r u????
Love sometime come when u least expected it.

It is ok if u are in Love. This mean u have a good heart. Mayb u should see what she feels for u. Where both of u stand. She may not be ready for this remember she is only 17 and some time girls like guy r scared of showing their emotions. Go out with her let her get to know u not just as a boyfriend, but as a friend. Trust me sometimes its better to get to know someone in a personal Level let her be the judge. She will come around.. Remember just be u'r self not someone she wants u to be.......

Answer 4

The best thing is to be honest with her. No matter the consequences. If you truly love her then tell her, but remember if she is not ready to hear it, it might push her away, or she might put up a wall. Maybe all she wants is to be friends. So if that is what she is implying more or less, then you should respect her as well. Maybe in time your realtionship between one another will grow and prosper. It is strictly up to you if you would like to get her something for her B-day. But do remember you want to get her something that she would appreciate. Stay away from a b/f &g/f gift. It would just push her away froom you more. But absolutely tell her how you feel. Good luck!

Answer 5

You have given a lot of info here, but unfortunately not enough info about how she feels about you, but let's start from the top. First of all I can tell you for sure that if she had the same feelings of love that you have for her she would be calling you every other hour, instead you haven't heard from her in months. If a woman loves a man and that man verbalizes the same feelings towards her the last thing she wants to do is be away from him. Open your eyes. The last part of your statement is not what ran her away. It was your confession of love to her. She doesn't have the same feelings for you dude, it's that simple. Save yourself the heartache and keep your feelings bottled up and move on. Save them for a lady that will look in your eyes and tell you she loves you back, not someone that doesn't call you for months at a time.

Answer 6

I'm in a similiar situation (only we're still speaking and she knows I love her). You don't have much left to lose. I hope that doesn't sound mean, but if she's already not speaking to you then what's worse? If you really love her, then think out what you're going to tell her, and let her know. And if speaking isn't your strong suit, maybe you should write her a nice, short, concise letter explaining your feelings. I know it sounds old fashioned, but I think women fall for it from time to time. It sounds like you didn't scare her off by telling her that you loved her, but by sounding insincere, which is far worse. And she might take your long silence as proof of that. Just my opinion, and I could be wrong, but something to consider. So tell her how you feel, don't back down, and get her something nice for a gift. You know her, so pick something you know she would like. Listen to her, girls always layout what they want, you just have to open your ears to it. Good luck!

Answer 7

You should speak your mind. If she is worth being with she will understand and accept it. If you love her then you love her. You can't hide that. If she doesn't believe you then that's her position and you have to respect it. A word of advice is that if you tell someone how you feel and then they don't talk to you for months you might want to stop making a fool of yourself. Clearly she doesn't feel the same way about you. You should't buy her anything because it would look strange (unless you get her a simple card. that would be good). You should probably just call her or send her a message saying happy birthday and that you hope she is happy and enjoys herself. Don't hold on to her though because she is gone.

Answer 8

If you love her why would you tell her that you just want to be friends. And who cares what your "boys" think, they are not the ones who will be with you when you are old and wrinkly. You need to be frank with her and tell her what you just told us. It sounds like she might be in love with you and she don't think that you feel the same way. Sometimes when people are hurt or feel rejected they react with anger. If you love her like you say you do then you HAVE to tell her. Tell her she is beautiful and that you miss her straight out, not implying anything. Women don't want to have to guess how you feel they want to know how you feel. Sounds like she wants to hear it not guess it. If you scare her off at least you won't spend the rest of your life saying "if I did this or if I did that" or not knowing what would have happened if you told her the TRUTH! I hope she gives you a chance because you sound like you really love her and like a nice guy. There is nothing wrong with loving someone and letting them know that you love them. There is something wrong with loving someone and not giving them the choice to love you back.

Good Luck and I hope you two work it out.

Answer 9

If you haven't talked to her in months, it sounds like she isn't going to care how you feel. Best to just move on and let the past stay in the past. Sometimes people just aren't ready for the whole love thing, take you time and get to know someone before you give your heart away. If it is someone that feels the same about you then you will both know it, then you can share how you feel.

Answer 10

your prolly scaring the **** outta her if shes not even 17 yet. back off with the love stuff for a bit. try telling her that you care about her without saying love. let her know that you wanna be good friends. then you can work up to the love when and if shes ready.