i love him to death but i cant stand the sight of meat. so sould i have him stop eating red meat once we get married? cuz he says that he doesnt have a problem with it. but i know deep down inside he'll miss eating that nasty meat of his. any ideas on what i can do?
2007-03-02 00:50:55 · 30 answers · asked by Nay 2 in Food & Drink ➔ Vegetarian & Vegan
If you love him for himself you will not ask him to change for you. You should ask yourself, "if nothing changes about my relationship or my partner, can I live with things the way they are for the rest of my life?" If the answer is "no" you need to reconsider marrying him. How would you feel if he asked you to START eating meat because he is sick of you eating differently than him?
2007-03-02 07:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by akivi73 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do think it's wrong.
I've never tasted meat, think most types are pretty disgusting things to cook, etc, etc, but. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
The time to resolve that stuff is _before_ you get married.
You can certainly ask for considerations -- ask him to use a ventilation fan over the stove when he cooks, etc. You can certainly get him to buy only good-quality meat; in my experience, it's the cheap stuff that really reeks.
Keep in mind that not all vegetarian cooking is thoroughly appetising to others. My husband, a meat-n-potatoes type, loathes the smell of onions sautéeing. I use onions in a lot of things, and, well...fortunately, our kitchen has two doors that can be closed if need be...
I suspect he might find it harder to give up meat than he thinks, or else he already would've given it up. How would you feel if he said he was going to go vegetarian, but ran off for a burger behind your back on a regular basis?
My mother's also vegetarian; my father isn't. He eats a lot less meat than most meat-eaters, though. And says he appreciates it more when he does, so take that into consideration. Your husband will probably end up eating less by default.
It _is_ reasonable to ask him to keep it well-wrapped, to clean up after he cooks it, etc. There're cross-contamination issues there anyway, and damned if I'm going to wash a beef grease-encrusted pan or deal with bits of it in the sink. But, really, it's not all that hard to live with somebody who eats meat. Good luck.
2007-03-02 01:32:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong and here's why. You cannot, cannot, CANNOT change a person. If you're going to get married, you have to accept the person exactly as he is and even assume that it will get worse. That said, if you are truly revulsed by red meat, you can ask that he only eat it when you aren't around. For example, he gets to go to a steakhouse for lunch during the week with coworkers or if he has a night out with friends. But you know that he eats meat now, if you really love him, you just have to accept it.
2007-03-02 01:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
An interesting problem - my wife is a vegetarian - I'm not - she tolerates my occasionally eating meat and I love her cooking- she's a trained chef.
If this is really imprtant to you, you may not be compatible unless he can forgo meat forever, or at least in front of you.
But will you be able to stand his smell if he continues to eat meat? Even when you're not around?
If it was me, I would resolve these issues, perhaps with a counselor before you take that total commitment step.
2007-03-02 01:02:56 · answer #4 · answered by mikeleibo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is appropriate for any human to make or even ask another human to change, married or not.
If you're entering marriage thinking that it is OK for either of you to ask the other to change, you're both in for a world of disappointment and resentment.
The "sight of meat" is your issue. Change your perception, and it won't look so bad to you. The notion of "nasty meat" is your judgment; it isn't nasty to him.
BTW, I'm a vegetarian. So this response is not based on a love of eating meat.
2007-03-02 05:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by d a 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you by any chance very young? The words you use - "make my fiance stop" and "have him stop" - seem to belong to a parent-child relationship. Parents can "make" their kids give up something, but adults are free to make their own choices, as long as the choice doesn't bring them in conflict with the law. One spouse can't even "make" the other give up substance abuse. All you can do is decide what is the dealbreaker for you, at what point you feel you would have to leave the relationship. And that decision should be made and discussed with your fiance before marriage, just as it would if you were both strongly religious in different faiths.
2007-03-02 02:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by Monica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you have to wait until you are getting married to decide on something you both should have discussed long before this --- particularly as you're engaged ( unless you made that decision yesterday ) !?
i don't mean to be a loser but i do think your future marriage will be lost if you cannot compromise --- and after all --- it's his "nasty meat" that is the issue in your opinion --- not your nasty habits !!! of getting your own way ??? hmmm leaves plenty for the imagination ---- how long do you feel the marriage will last !!!??? good luck
2007-03-02 01:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by bill g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your husband wants to eat red meat and its not hurting him or you then you should let him. Why make someone change something that they enjoy just because you dont prefer it. You will end up having him resent you in the long run because he is making silly sacrifices. Now if it was something like smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol then you have a legitimate gripe. Thats just my thought on the matter. Good luck!
2007-03-02 01:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by ciyml 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him to stop eating meat?? I think that asking someone to do something even though you know they would rather not is a bit harsh.
I have been married for 6 years. Recently I was told that I could not eat red meat or anything with gluten in it because of digestive issues. I NEVER thought to ask my husband to stop eating those things because I don't. The changed were for my benefit, not his. He shouldn't have to give up things he likes, BUT, he has made alterations to his diet to make it easier on me, and I never asked him to. I still prepare steak for him everyone once in awhile, like last night. I grilled him a steak and salmon for myself. Compromise, marriage is made of it.
2007-03-02 00:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to settle it between you before you get married.
If you can't stand it, is it OK with him if you don't fix it? If he still wants to eat it are you OK with letting him fix it or order it at a restaurant.
If he still wants you to fix it at times can you live with that?
There are so many difficulties you'll encounter in marriage, don't let it start over red meat! And don't expect to change him once you are married.
2007-03-02 03:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by V 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋