I'll spell out all the details. My mom has tested positive for HPV, the cancer-causing agent for cervical cancer - it was detected within the past year. She and my dad have been married for over 30 years. When they got married, she was 19 and he was 20. As far as I know, they both lost their virginity with each other. Considering the time period that they grew up in and the nature of their families, it is very unlikely that either one of them had sex before they met each other. That being said, my mom definitely has HPV (the form that causes cervical cancer).
*** Can I be 100% certain that one OR both of them committed adultery at one point or another? ***
2007-02-28 14:52:28 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Once, when I was young and still unsure of myself, a patient presented with all of the classic symptoms for an STD. I had to run down the full contact list and he insisted that his pregnant wife was the only person he'd ever been with. I called in my boss and together, with the two of them, we began to hash it all out. Accusations were tossed about like it was a pie throwing contest. Feelings got hurt and they left very angry with one another and accusing one another of having been unfaithful. As it turned out, her pregnancy, caused all kinds of strange occurances with her vaginal flora. There was never a moment of unfaithfullness. Can you just imagine how those two must have felt? Here's the bottom line. We're all human. We all make mistakes from time to time. What's done is done. Let it go or be willing to go get professional help. I was a "person" long before I was a parent. They are your parents and this is THEIR business. Don't be angry, be forgiving. And HPV is "A" cancer causing agent, that doesn't mean it WILL cause cancer.
2007-02-28 15:08:59 · answer #1 · answered by Doc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your mom has HPV it does not mean she is going to get cancer. There are over 100 different strains of HPV, Only 5 cause cancer. 16 and 18 are two that are highly cancerous! Doctors do not know all the facts yet. There are many cases of unknown transmission. They say it is sexually transmitted, because they don't know how else you catch it. There are no 100% in anything. Support both your parents, encourage your parents to talk to a Doctor and not on here, most of these people have no clue.
2007-02-28 15:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by JNS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought after reading the question was that one of your parents probably wasn't being truthful about their virginity or slipped out during the course of their marriage,but the truth is that HPV can be contracted in so many strange ways. You really cant be 100% sure because there are too many variables that havent been answered. If you really want the answer to how she got it then you need to have a truthful talk with your parents and if both claim that they really have been faithful then she should ask her doctor of all other possible ways of getting it (it can live on surfaces up to like 7 days-public toilets etc.) Actually, that conversation really needs to take place between your parents first more so than with you.
2007-03-05 02:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Meyori B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how old your parents are but I am 55. I was a virgin when I married but my hubby was not. I was 15 when we meet and he was 16.
Men and women have been having sex before marriage forever.
There is no way to know when we acquire our HPV infection; most of us acquire HPV with our first sexual encounter. This sexual encounter does not have to be intercourse. Just petting can transfer the virus.
You cannot be sure what your parents sexual experience were before they were married or even after they have been married. But it would be wise to put your concerns aside does it really matter …would knowing change your love for them…
Are your parents happy. Is your mother concerned because of her recent diagnosis with high risk HPV?
HPV can remain in the genital area for years with no problems...but as we age or with illness the virus can become more aggressive.
Just because your mother was diagnosed with one of the high risk HPV types...this doesn't mean she will develop cervical cancer.
You didn't say if your mother’s infection is CIN 1, 2, or 3. Each of these stages are only of precancer lesions left untreated these lesion could progress to cancer.
Do you know what treatment options your mother's doctor suggested?
This is a great time to show your mother and father how much you love them...give them both your support...don't prejudge them. If you really want to know the answers to your question ask your mother....and father...some parents may not want to talk about past sexual experiences...but some of us are very open with our past...
With all the news of HPV association with cervical, vulva and anal cancer this seems to be a good time to bring up a discussion…let them know you are concerned…and I know they will do everything to help your accept them as they are.
I am a mother my daughter will be 30 in April
I am co-founder of the Gyn-Gal.
I have HPV
2007-03-01 11:42:05 · answer #4 · answered by tarnishedsilverheart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you cannot assume either parent had an affair. “The issue of nonsexual means of HPV transmission has sparked a good deal of debate. There are experts who think this is possible, but it remains unclear exactly how this might occur,HPV infection may have been caught in a non-sexual event....
i can think of a few ways one who is around your mothers age could of acquired HPV-before the 80's many women tried on clothing, ie, underwear, bathing suits without wearing their own underwear underneath....the other issue is that it has been known to spread via sharing towels. genital HPV can be transmitted through nonsexual routes, via fomites — inanimate objects such as towels or underwear — but more research must be conducted to examine these modes of transmission”
the truth is, no one knows for sure how some get hpv.
on the other hand, if one or the other were promiscuous-and this might sound like i'm dogging the men race, but many guys lost their virginity while remaining trustworthy back in the day....
most back then had already lost their virginity to someone else.
ahh...to be a teen in the 70's!
2007-02-28 15:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by giggling.willow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes My dear it is a 100% one or both of them had sex with somebody else, cause if you mother has being suffering of HPV for 30 years it is impossible that the doctors never had found out before. But do not worry about how they got it or if they had sex with other people or not. They love each other ( that's why they are together till now) and for sure they will discuss this in private. Just tell you Mom and your Dad to go to the treat this virus as soon as tey can.
2007-02-28 15:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by Oriel isarb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didn't mention your age but it sounds like you have an issue with them. Let me start off first by telling you that your parents sexuality has nothing to do with you. Your parents love you I know that they do, but until you have lived with someone for 30 years through mortgages, children, chickenpox,school lunches, car wrecks, taxes and house insurance you have no idea what being married with a family is like. There are stressors beyond our control and temptations also. I am not saying that it is right if one did cheat I am just saying that it happens and it doesn't mean that it has anything to do with you. This issue is between husband and wife and they don't need added stressors, it very well maybe a known fact between them that one of them cheated and the other is willing to look beyond the indiscretion. They are your parents and deserve your respect, you should stay out of this one. Sometimes a little information is too much for the children
2007-03-06 14:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's play devils advocate for a minute with the question. What if one of them did cheat at one time or another during the marriage. If your mom has this and your dad knows this and they are together perhaps this issue was already handled without your knowledge. If I made a mistake in my life I definitely would not want to discuss it with my child. They probably have this handled. Please let this issue go , this is really between them two only. Your mom and dad need your support if your mom is facing cancer. Try to get what I'm saying suppose something happened with you and you got HIV or something would you really need your friends and family reminding you of how it happened and basically making the illness their own fault. Or would you want your mom just to love you unconditionally? Take care.
2007-02-28 15:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by phylobri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultury does not have to be done in order for them to have HPV>
I know someone who lost their virginity to someone and now has HPV> If her partner has sexual relations before her, then he was a carrier fo the virus and therefore gave it to her w/ out even knowing it. That's unforunate with HPV and HSV. There usually aren't any visuals at times and some people don't know they have it. HPV is more difficult to detect since it's not in the blood stream and it's only a skin virus.
2007-03-01 04:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they grew up they didn't "talk" about premarital sex, doesn't mean that they did loose their virginity to each other, but it's a great idea for you to keep about your parents. Without asking them both point blank if they were virgins when they married (and would they tell you the truth, then again would you want to skew the image of your parents?) then you could be right one of them may have strayed. Otherwise, if one or both of them had even one other partner, it could have stayed dormant for all these years, it it might be rearing it's ugly head again, and 10 years ago we didn't test for it. Have a sit down with both of your parents and talk to them, maybe it's innocent enough, but if it's bothering you that bad, ask for the answer, have an adult conversation, if for nothing else the proper health care of your mom!
2007-02-28 15:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Katelpn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋