am 24 years old and married. I went to college, got my degree and own my home but my friend has three kids and she is 22. She is always asking to borrow money for her kids which i do loan it to her and she pays me back but that is going to stop cause i will have my own child to worry about.
She had her first when she was 15, then 17 and the last one was born when she was 19. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves knowing that they are too young and cannot take care of them without help. Why?
2007-02-24 22:28:56 · 20 answers · asked by New Mommy 2 Shayla 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think you are the more responsible one and waited for the ideal environments and conditions before planning a family- you saying she started having kids at 15 shows she just didn't know how to keep the legs closed (sorry), Once you have one baby, you tend to want another one, and her not being to make such great decisions had another one, and then another one. maybe she thought it'd be easier the more she had? I just think she doesn't have it all well put together in her head like you do. Just be there for her and let her know you need to save money for your baby's things you'll need but you are still there as a friend. you just won't be the bank anymore. Congrats on your first baby! he/she is going to have a great mommy and a wonderful life! best wishes! ♥
2007-02-24 23:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by lynn 5 · 2⤊ 7⤋
In your friends case I would have to say ask her.As I don't know her I can't speak for her. I can tell you though that I have a friend who is now 28.He oldest is 12 her youngest is 5. She married the father of her children when she was 16. {their oldest was still a baby} they tried their best and through the course of their marriage they had 2 more kids. In her case the pill did not work for her. She had to fight hard at the age of 22 to get her tubes tied. All the Dr.s kept telling her she was too young. She is now a single mother raising all 3 kids on her own and going to school to better her life. She is not doing this with out help. But she is trying. And I a married woman and mother of 2 commend her on her strength. I do not have much money but Help her when I can. Knowing that some day if ever I should need it and she has what I need she will gladly help me. This is what friends do. You did not say what you friends situation was.Is she trying to make ends meet? Is married? Life does not always go as planned. No matter what your situation in life everyone at one time in one way or another needs a hand. So just remember be fore you leap to conclusions and make quick state ments what goes around comes around.
2007-02-25 02:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by blue_eyed_brat78 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunatly some people make mistakes. I am sure her having a baby at 15 was a huge mistake. Because she was so young she couldn't persue college the way you were able to. She may still go to college.....you never know. I am 23 and have 2 kids. They are 7 months and 3 years (I was married as well, getting married young does NOT work!!!). I am going to college next month to be a Dermatologist. I have some college behind me already. But to me she sounds RESPONSIBLE!!!! If she pays you back then stop complaining. Next time don't loan it to her. Also, stop judging her like that, you are supposed to be a friend. I can't believe you think you are so much better than her because you have a house and a degree. She will have these things too.
2007-02-25 01:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lana Marie 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you're a horrible "friend". You posted that question as though you were itching for us to down your friend and give you applause. Well, I'm not clapping my hands for you. I had my son at 15, but waited six years before having my second at 22. I've gone to school, have a stable job which I've been at for 4 years, and don't run around partying or leaving my sons up to others to raise. HOWEVER, you need to get off your high horse. Your friend still has time to grow up, and you're not her mother. If you wanna quit loaning her money, that's fine, I think you should, but you have NO RIGHT to judge someone and then say that you're her "friend". Just because you're knocked up and in a better situation doesn't necessarily make you the better person (I don't think you are, and if I were the young mother of 3 kids and read your question, I'd never talk to you again).
I also question how good your parenting skills will be if you're so judgemental now. Maybe you're the one who needs some form of permanent birth control.
2007-02-25 03:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Dont knock the young moms!!!! I was one I had twins at 16, next child at 21, and next 23...and have learned that we get pregnant for different reasons some stupid, some circumstances, and others who the hell knows. Point being its what we decide to make of ourselves afterwards and how hard we are willing to work for it. I am now 25 with four children and married...I went to college and got my degree too. And for nosy people yes they are all from the same father. We support them on our own no government help and they are all great! Now on the other hand u got my sister in law whom has two and will be having a third who knows when because she wont go find out. Who is 22 owes her landlord who knows how much, wont get her GED beacuse she wont walk her @$$ up the block, and refuses to work. SO LIKE I SAID ITS WHAT U MAKE OF URSELF!!!!
2007-02-25 04:58:07 · answer #5 · answered by E 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do you want to hear how wrong we think your friend is for having children too young? If you are truly a friend you will overlook her mistakes and try to help her make better decisions in the future. I commend you on waiting for the right time to have kids but her kids were not mistakes. They were born and now she is doing her best to try to raise them. If she is abusive or unloving toward them, that is another question but if she is taking good care of them and providing for their needs even if that means asking for help sometimes then either support her or go your seperate ways because beleive me, she doesnt need so called friends bringing her down and making her feel like she isnt good enough . My mom was young when she had me. I am a writer and my mom got her degree in engineering after I was born (as a single mom)
2007-02-25 03:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Everyone is different and do choose different roads. Maybe she wasn't ready but your not the one to judge that. Since she's your friend you should be there for her, she obviously looks to you for help. You don't have to give her money but make it clear that your expecting soon and can't be loaning money out. If it's that serious. Overall, Just be a good friend and be my her side and help her. That's what good friends do.
2007-02-25 15:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by **Shan** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, under no circumstances provide up on your desires for somebody you like. Being a mom is the main stunning adventure in the international, and having your very own is a lot diverse then looking after your stepchildren. you have have been given to sit down down and communicate with him, tell him that having young ones is amazingly substantial to you and which you will no longer settle for no longer having any. If he's adamant approximately no longer having babies then this courting would no longer paintings out. you have have been given to do it as quickly as possible because of the fact in case you men don't have a similar destiny plans then you definately've have been given to make some adjustments. it is going to be no longer ordinary, yet once you agree for no longer having young ones, you will perpetually be apologetic approximately your determination and you will finally end up resenting him for no longer permitting you to have your very own babies. have faith me, if it does finally end up being a dealbreaker, you will finally detect a guy who has a similar destiny plans as you and who'll prefer babies basically as much as you.
2016-12-14 05:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
our tax dollars support people like that- that is why people do not care. If they were to not get help then maybe people would think. I have 5 kids and I have never used any help from anyone. My hubby and I work and I only work part time so we don't have to use day care.
2007-02-25 06:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you mentioned she pays you back at least indicates that while she may get behind, she's still making it okay with the decisions she chose for her life. Just because you handled your life differently and have a different perspective doesn't mean that her life is wrong. Some people just take what they're given. She chose to be responsible with her actions and should be commended for that. Don't judge just because you have a different point of view.
2007-02-24 23:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by desiderio 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Well she made her choices. She has to live with them. I think you are a judgemental person and if she calls you a friend she better watch her back. It is a shame that you go behind your "friend"s back to post a question on yahoo. If she is so terrible, then stop being her "friend." But if I were her, and I knew you were talking about me like that, I would sever the friendship...IMMEDIATELY. In fact, what is her email address? I will tell her myself.
2007-02-25 04:40:35 · answer #11 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋