They barely knew him. We didn't go visit often.
2007-02-24 21:40:14 · 25 answers · asked by happymomma3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thanks to all who have responded. My sister in law says she isn't taking her kids and she isn't attending but I cannot let my husband go at this alone made me quesiton if I should take my kids or not......they want to attend they are 13,10 and 8. So I think they should just wanted to get others opinions.
2007-02-24 21:48:08 · update #1
Yes most definitely. And your right to want to be there for your husband through this. Your kids are old enough to understand death. So if they want to go, let them go. This is something that is a part of life, saying good-bye & paying respects. They need to see how other people do it. learn the meaning of paying your respects to someone who was loved and deserves it. Its probably better if this is their first experiance with this, that they werent real close, that way, they can learn from this in a positive way, & it will help when the time comes with someone they are very close to.
2007-02-24 22:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by catzhkr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been to a funeral in my life (I'm 34 now) because I've never had a close friend or family member die. So I don't know much about this. That being said, my first thought would be how close were they with this person. If they didn't really know him and especially if they are young, it might be best to leave them in school.
If not taking them also means you won't go, that might be a different story. Funerals are for the people left behind, not for the dead. Even though you may not have visited often, some of you family members might appreciate you being there for support.
2007-02-24 21:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My eldest daughter went to her step-great-grandfather's funeral when she was three. It helped her understand that he would not be coming back and gave her a chance to say good-bye. She could not understand it as well as an older child would have, but it was a benefit to her and I think it was an important part in understanding that she would never see him again. I also think it is important for kids to realise that it is okay to grieve. If they only attend things like weddings and christenings and other joyful occasions they do not comprehend the full spectrum of life. Without understanding sorrow we cannot fully appreciate joy. Talk to your children. Let them know what is going to happen at the funeral, explain what they will see there so that nothing comes as a surprise and if they are adamant they do not wish to go then do not take them. If they express a desire to go or are uncertain I would certainly take them along. Children need closure just as much as adults do.
2007-02-24 22:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Avril P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be other people from the family there as well. Even if you didn't visit often, there are others in the family who want to see you and the kids. If there is no major testing being done that day, then I suggest you attend with them. I can't tell how old they are, but if you feel they are old enough to handle it, you should consider taking them. It is a family event. This may be a rare opportunity for them to meet others.
2007-02-24 21:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think children belong at funerals. I would suggest telling them that and bringing them to the family get together afterwards. They want to say good-bye and there are other ways of doing that. Make up a special ritual you can involve them in- like makeing a memory book for the service ( they could decorate cover, older ones could write memories down and you could add pictures. Pass it around and let everyone be involved with the intention being that in the end the children will be responsible for the book of memories to share.
2007-02-24 23:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF they barely knew him - then it might not matter.
However, to 'prepare' them for the funeral of someone they DO know better, maybe it is a good thing.
Make sure you have enough time afterwards to talk about it, and explain what was going on though.
I missed one funeral of a family member, and still regret it, even though i was about 6 or 7 at the time.
2007-02-24 21:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on the age of the children. Funerals are a fact of life and a time families should be together. But if the children are too young to understand, I would keep them in school.
2007-02-24 21:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by altes_jan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm yes.... Their grandfather wether they new him or not will develop into an importantperson to them and iff they realize at 40 they never new him and didnt even get to attend his funeral it cood give them trauma or another mental problem plus its a really good excuse for getiin outta school for a day and its not like something enjoyable so u dont have to feel like their "ditching" or out for no good reason.
2007-02-24 21:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you said their ages, the answer is yes. It is good that they go to see what goes on, especially in this case since they weren't really close to him. It'll help prepare them a bit in case a closer family member should pass away. And it's a good opportunity for the family to be together.
2007-02-24 22:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Happy, Yes you should. This is family business and your family should be there for his resting place. It doesn't matter if your kids hardly knew their grandpa and didn't visit. This is away of showing respect for your departed family member. Yes, please go!!! A Friend Who Has Been There.
Clowmy
2007-02-24 21:50:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋