I am 18 years old from Wisconsin. When I was 14 I met a guy who was 19. We then become intimate and when I turned 15 we started dating. Later that summer, still 15, we had sex. He was 20 at this time. We continued this relationship until I was 17. He confessed to me early in the relationship that he liked younger girls and would ask if that's bad. I realize now that I was brainwashed into thinking I loved him so I would have sex with him and that I was in an abusive relationship. Even though it's been 8 months since we've been broken up, it still concerns me that he is still out there and I know he still likes younger girls. I'm afraid that the same thing will happen to someone else. Do I even have a case if I took it to court? My parents would back me up on it because they never liked him.
2007-02-24 21:24:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Rape is one of those things that leaves victims scarred long after the actual event. They begin to second guess themselves...Did they encourage it, did they somehow ask for it? Did they actually enjoy it? Was it rape or actually a date? Why couldn't they have seen what was coming and so on?
There is no cure, only acceptance and understanding that you were a victim... after what can be a long long time. I once had a patient who was so guilty because she remembered her own orgasm's, while her father raped her as a child at 11-17. She thought she wanted it!!!
Not true of course! What causes men to rape? It is a multifaceted answer, but essentially it starts with resentment toward women, and ends up being a control thing. Showing they are superior, that they can make their victim do anything they want..and so on. It gives the rapist, a sense of power, but the cost to both sides, is enormous on an emotional level.
Men who are repeatedly raped in prison, often are never able to accept their masculinity again, and often commit suicide, or other acts of self mutilation.
Get counselling fast, it won't solve the problem overnight, but it is the only viable solution.
2007-02-25 05:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say, let it be. You didn't get brainwashed by him as much as you brainwashed yourself. You consented. And while basically he may have broken a law you still played along.
Take it as a lesson learned and move on. No matter how old you live to be and how old your future BF's are, the adolescent game of love will always exist.
So what is going to happen when you turn 20 and you date a 20 year old and you fall for him and then you two break up? Did he brainwash you too into loving him?
If having sex under the guise of love is a crime then 90 percent of all men would be locked up. (The same goes for girls)
I don't know why people of this day and age continue to confuse sex with love. The two have nothing to do with each other. One is an emotion and the other is a biological need.
2007-02-25 05:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Very intimate problem you've just shared. I'll do my best to help.
In a nutshell: yes. You were raped. He took advantage of you.
I think you should take him to court. Not just because of what he did to you, but because of what he will almost CERTAINLY do to other girls. In addition, you may even be able to help him too, if a trial leads to prison/rehab. He's got a problem and he's going to take it out on the innocent.
It's going to be a He said/She said case unless you've got strong evidence. Use a POLYGRAPH TEST if possible. That could really help. See if you can get an audio recorded confession from him before a trial too. You need to get him to admit or demonstrate guilt in some shape or form.
2007-02-25 05:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by The_Music_Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is did you willingly have sex with him? I would say yes because you had sex with him for 2 years. Now most states have an age limit that says when a child is considered an adult for sex. And I think that Wisconsin is one of the lowest I think it is 14 but That is with someone under the age of 18. So I feel that you will need considerable proof that he forced himself on you. And made you have sex with him. But for the length of time I would say there is no proof because the cops or judge will say your just trying to get back at him.
2007-02-25 06:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by reddog_1965 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speak to your district attorney. Sounds like you have a case. The problem may be how long they have to prosecute it. It was no longer statutory rape after you turned 18 (16 or 17 in some states). You need to step forward quickly as time may run out.
2007-02-25 05:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by picture . . . perfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to the D.A. about charges, to protect other children from this predator. You are right, it is most definitely abuse. Kudo's to you for recognizing it for what it is, and for taking a stand to prevent it from happening to others. And don't blame yourself for not recognizing it earlier- that's the whole reason it's against the law is because children don't understand the complexities of an intimate relationship.
2007-02-25 05:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes.if you can gather all the evidence like the DNA proof of your relationship(former), and if you believe he is a criminal looking for pleasures from young children by abusing their trust then go on. all the best. such criminals should not be let loose in society which is a danger to everyone..
2007-02-25 05:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by yogi123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you say something earlier when you were together? Since it appears that you are just trying to get back and him since he broke up with you, you will need proof. Also be prepared to go through the same scrutiny as him since people will be trying to determine what type of character you have.
2007-02-25 05:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes.....take it up with a sex crimes investigator or the District Attys investigator....by all means file charges...you were a victim...
2007-02-25 05:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. THe question is do you have proof.
2007-02-25 05:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋