Guys Only : What did I do wrong?

Question

I work at an office by day and run a hot spot night club by night,have a very active social life as well as having a boyfriend who I've been with for 9 months.He's always had an issue with how little he gets to see me and lately he's been complaining a lot that I never make time for us and that everything comes before him.Two days ago him and his best friend were in a car accident leaving him with a broken arm and a concussion.His friend wasn't so lucky and got quite a few broken bones but he's expected to make a full recovery.My boyfriend tried calling me once they got to the hospital but I was out partying and didn't get his voice mail until 18 hours later.Now he's dumped me saying he's had enough of taking last place on my list of priorities.Isn't he overreactng?My phone was set to vibrate and I couldn't have known he'd call.

Like I said my phone was set to vibrate.I partied all night and slept it off once I got home so I didn't see the voicemail until I checked my phone the next day.

Answer 1

Well, he could have died, and you would have found out right before the funeral. Jeez, I'd be pissed too.

Answer 2

Wow, he dump your sorry busy little ass. Well I guess you got what was coming to you. Since you have such a busy social life and little time for a boyfriend of 9 months. I truely see why he dumped you. In his greatest time of needing you, you were out on the dance floor of some club bumping and grinding with the girls and other guys, no sense lying you know you were. 18 hours before you checked your cell, I seriously doubt that since most people check there cell phones constantly. If your such have this busy social life that you say you would have been checking your phone for messages constantly.

What you should have done leaving the club is check your phone for messages and gone to the hospital to be with your "ex" boyfriend now and see how he is doing.

I think if you want him back your going to need to make some changes in your very busy social calendar and work the boyfriend into the mix a bit more and less on the dance floor.

Sounds like the spoiled little girl just got a major lesson in life.

Answer 3

Truthfully? He has a point. It's not so much the accident as much as the accumulating problem. The accident just happened to be the "straw that broke the camels back", so to speak. I suggest you talk to him. Explain that the party was what kept you from answering your phone and that the accident has made you realize how much you don't get to see him in general. You really should MAKE time. Use this recovery time to show him how much you do care, or you may end up losing him for good. Go to visit him often and show that your work doesn't mean more to you than he does (or rather, if it does, then don't do so). All I have to say is, balance your work AND your relationships, or you may find yourself with only one and not the other.

Answer 4

All the man wanted was a little attention and frankly, he's probably upset that you spend most of your time running a joint where single guys try to hook up and not with him. If he's going to be in the hospital for a while, the only thing that you can do to save this relationship is to spend EVERY waking moment by his side until he makes a full recovery. Have one of your girlfriends brings over your meals and a fresh change of clothes every day, but he needs a huge gesture like this if you don't want him to dump you as soon as he gets out.

Answer 5

Sorry to say the bomb was built. Your phone being on vibrate was just the fuse. Try to work things out with him. This will require a lot of effort and will probably mean you not partying so much. True enough that he may not be your husband but he still deserves attention. If things don't work out and he won't get back with you then remember this for the next one. Relationship are not to be taken lightly. Much commitment is required.

Answer 6

I feel bad about his accident i really do its sad, BUT, before it when he felt he was last place in line, he could be. I would get a guy who is willing to work with your schedule, or better yet live life a little and then slow it down when you want to get into a relationship. Basically your man was just to slow, he couldn't keep you tied down when you have so much energy to waste. Don't ever let a relationship weigh you down if you are a major party person or energy dispensor.

Answer 7

I don't think he's overreacting. You weren't there for him (for over 18 hours) when he really needed you. That's a big thing. If you'd been working hard or dealing with an unexpected emergency of your own, it would at least be understandable and/or forgivable, but you were out having fun without him (and not even checking messages) when he really needed you. He had to get through it without you, and apparently decided that wasn't so bad.

I'm not sure why or when you were together, but it sounds like you're both better off apart.

Answer 8

ok i know i'm not a guy but i can tell you what you did wrong. what im sayin is that he had total rights to dump you on the spot. he could have been in need of someone by his bedside at the hospital and you would ahve been out drinking and partying and you wouldn't ahve known untill the next day. i say thats really horrible. and if i were him i would have dumped you too. sorry taht your so busy but what you need to do is find a guy who is just as busy as you so that he doesnt' really notice the fact that you can't spend time with him. or find a guy that loves to party. either way it should be good

Answer 9

PA,

You probably did nothing wrong, as he knew the kind of lifestyle you led before getting involved with you. Working and partying is your priority, and he should've known that since day one. Going 18 hours plus at a stretch between communications is something he should be used to as well.

Seems you're probably better off, so that you can search for someone with less maintenance issues. He'll probably be a lot happier with a woman who can give him the attention you cannot.

Answer 10

I don't think your boyfriend have dumb you just because of that night... He tell you (I had enough of taking last place on my list of priorities)

So this is not the first time it happen that he can reach you or feel like he is important for you.

If you work at day and go in the club at night I agree with him.
It's fuc**** boring and humiliting someone who are suposed to love you but don't want to share time with you.

Maybe it's him. To much dependant
Maybe you should work in a nightclub. So the day you make fun and the nigh it's for him.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

An 18-hour response time?! What are you, Verizon?

I have to say that the 18-hour thing is ridiculously excessive, but you weren't expecting it. On the other hand, this type of behavior from you isn't something new.