Okay, so my boyfriend slaps me on the butt and I think it's disrespectful and tell him "no siree!" (I plan waiting until marriage) and he thinks that there is nothing wrong with it since we are a couple. So what do y'all think?? Am I over-reacting?!
THANKS!
2007-02-24 18:34:02 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he is doing it privately, then yes you are overreacting. If you are this frigid now over that he is gonna have a huge disapointment after he marries you.
2007-02-24 18:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not over-reacting. Spanking (or butt slapping)...is a control and respect issue. This happened to me many years ago. I remember feeling incredibly ashamed and angry that he did it. It started with that...then that led to shoving, then that led to hitting my legs, then that led to pinning me down or not letting me leave if we were fighting.He did it in front of people too. All of which led to constant verbal abuse.I finally had to flee with nothing...just to save my life and sanity. I am just telling you I know how you feel.
So to answer your question...yes, there is something wrong it. It's violent and immature on his part. It is a way to control you.
But what is most bothersome...is that you have conveyed that you don't like it...and he negates how you feel and says it's ok. Being a couple doesn't mean you own the person. Any type of touching that doesn't feel right...is simply not acceptable. Period.
Put your foot down and stop it NOW...not later. You need to figure out if he respects you or not before you get married. I say it is an abuse issue and not to be taken lightly. Call your local domestic violence center and just ask what the guidelines are.
Good luck!!!
2007-02-25 02:46:26 · answer #2 · answered by kallie m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Touching, patting, or slapping the tush is a form expressing physical affection. It is not quite the same as having sex, which is what is typically meant when one is waiting or saving until marriage (and even then what constitutes sex is a subject for clear communication). You need to communicate. Do it clearly. Don't take offense, but "no siree" is not clear communication. You may have told your bf that you wanted to save yourself for marriage and he may be perfectly respectful of that. However, is he not allowed to show you any form of physical affection? Have you told him that you don't want any expressions of physical affection? And if you do want some forms of physical affection but not others, have you discussed what is OK and what is not? Everyone has different expectations and interpretations of acceptable forms of expressing physical affection. So if you haven't, then it hasn't been communicated clearly. I'm not placing blames. I'm just saying, clear up the expectations so he can respect your wishes.
2007-02-25 02:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Elisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, all I can is that we want to do that to alot of women. So when we have a steady, we think we can get away with it. I don't think it is a disrespectful thing. More of a "You look hot" thing. I do it to my wife and have done it for years. A few years back, she asked me to stop, and I did. After a moth or so she said it was ok to do it. Said it was a form of affection that she missed having.
2007-02-25 02:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by ontherocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually it all depends on yourself .... some people might think that's ok but some don't.
Basicly if you are some that thinks about " Waiting till marriage " then it is a NONO .... cause if let this continue , it also meant for the first step for him to go even more further .......
2007-02-25 02:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by Adrian T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve his respect. If you don't want him slapping your butt, he has no right to do so. His lack of respect for you should be the first warning sign. you're not overreacting in the least, and even if you were, your boyfriend should respect you in spite of that fact.
2007-02-25 02:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're comforatble with him doing that, fine, if not , more power to you. It really depends on who you are. If you're not ready for that, then just let him know. You're not over reacting at all. Just next time he does it let him know you don't want him doing that. Put a stresses-depressed look on your face and tell him "WOuld you please stop doing that? It's not fun for me..." or something like that.
Also, I would deffinately stop it here, since if this is going on and he thinks it fine... it could lead to more and you said you wanted to wait.
2007-02-25 02:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I you asked him to stop or will ask him to stop and he continues, it may be indicative that you two are not on the same wave length. You may have different ideas about morality and relationships. You need to find out now if you could be compatible for the long term.
2007-02-25 02:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think when you say 'waiting until marraige' your talking sex, not butt slapping
just becuase he slaps your but doenst mean hes asking for it
he just things your hot [=
so take it as a compliment (;
but if it makes you uncomfortable just look at him in the eye and be like, hey can you stop?
2007-02-25 02:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by lo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting. he does not have a right to do it if you are not comfortable with it, tell him your serious, he should respect you like you want him to. Lay down the Law. If you do not feel comfortable with it, he has no right making you feel uncomfortable.
2007-02-25 02:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by alaskaowned 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u r overreacting! My guy friend slpas me on the butt and i have no problem with it. So i would be fine if my bf did it. Its not like hes asking you for sex!
If you dont feel comfortable with it, just tell him...
Ambi
2007-02-25 02:37:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋