I'm 23, How do meet girls? (long, girls please answer)?

Question

I am currently a 23 year old male and I have never had a girlfriend... This makes me sad because I've wanted one since i was 16 years old. I think my primary problem is that I don't have many friends and I end up never going out because of it. Throughout college I had a fairly limited set of friends, most of which weren't the partying type. I ended up almost never partying or attending large social gatherings and spent most of my time studying and playing video games :(

But the good news is that I studied hard and was able to land a job with a 75k/year salary. Now I'm making enough money to be able to have a nice place, nice car, and have fun on the weekends, but i end up staying in because I have nobody to do anything with!

My gut feeling is that looks-wise i'm average and that it shouldn't be an issue, but i've gotten some odd results from this experiment I conducted. What i did was this: I put 3 different pictures on hotornot.com and received scores ranging between 8.3 and 9. I didn’t put much faith in these scores at first, but after examining other men who scored similarily I concluded that this score would be indicitive of a man who is probably capable of achieving dates with the opposite sex. So happy with these results, I signed up for match.com and proceeded to send “winks” to basically every girl within a 20 mile radius. The result? 100% rejection. Most rejected via not responding, but others took a step further and BLOCKED my account! All of this for a innocent “wink” saying “hi” or something tame like that… Wouldn’t the hotornot data coupled with the fact that I’ve had some interest from girls in real life mean that I should get at least 1 freaking response? Geez!

Please hel p me!

Answer 1

OK. I'm going to be as frank with you as I can: it sounds to me like your biggest problem is confidence.

I'm sure you're fine looking. But that's entirely beside the point. It sounds like you're fairly concerned with how girls perceive your looks, and, while it's true that girls like good-looking guys (first of all that's entirely subjective, and this should make sense because I believe guys also appreciate attractive women), there's so much more that makes a guy attractive (or not). Ie., his heart, his intellect, his concerns, his interests, his sense of humour, his laugh or the way he walks, his very presence.

I'm sure you have passions and talents and things that mean a lot to you; I say emphasize those qualities. Try to surround yourself with girls who share some of your same concerns. Not all girls care only about money (though, it it is true that the ones who don't are probably the minority). 23 is young, and you'll have many opportunities for getting to know girls.

Here's another idea perhaps worth exploring: what kind of girls are you attracted to? That is, some guys say things like, "I just want a nice girl", but, in reality, they're attracted not to the genuinely nice girls, but to the ones who snub them. Also, how much of an effort are you making, really? Getting to know someone takes time and energy, and you need to be willing to exert yourself a bit. (Keep in mind, too, that a lot of girls--even some really beautiful, smart girls--are shy. So you may need to be persistent in some cases.)

As to the match.com thing, I don't know a whole lot about them, but I'm guessing that maybe your profile may be lacking. For example, I've seen some fairly good-looking guys who say typical, boring things, like, "umm .... this is kind of awkward, but here I am...".

Also, when you're "winking" girls, I recommend you write each girl a comment that acknowledges something special about them that you took note of. That will show them that you've noticed and appreciated something special about them, and that they're not just another girl you've sort of mass selected.

Not sure if I'm on the right track or not, but I hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 2

you sound to me like an economist,

it sounds like you're relying on "scientific evidence" and "numbers" to explain your situation

I find that amusing!

Um, but honestly, I sympathize with you, because I feel the same way...I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend, and can't understand why because I know I'm smart and funny and a nice guy and not bad looking.

But honestly, I'm taking a very different path right now. You sound like the type of person for whom money is important. You boast of being able to afford a nice place, nice car, etc. I COULD get a high paying job and afford luxury items if I wanted to, but I don't. I think there are definitely girls out there who would be interested in you because a lot of girls are impressed by money.

Those aren't the type of girls for me though. Unfortunately, the type who DONT care about money are harder to find.

Honestly I dont think you should have much trouble. Maybe you just need to go hang out in the nightspots, where flashy clothes, and the golddiggers will fall all over you.

Sorry about the match.com reactions...that sucks. Not sure how to explain that. Thats why I've never signed up for those services.

Answer 3

i can told u that the love is a learning.It depends of ur grade of education in this sense .Maybe u ask to urself why there´s other guys who have so much luck with girls.Theres no luck ,theres grade of education ,is like an school,maybe in they lifes they had more experience with girls ,so they understand more the female psicology.But not all is lost.Some of us have to learn in the school of the life,and pay the price,be hurted ,some times humillated,sometimes frustrated ,but always u will learn and u will be more close to ur objetives ,as all in the life ,so dont get dissapointed man,i understand u ,just keep it moving,try and try and try ,looking were was the mistake ,u will be successful do the next ,it helped me a lot!! :
Put in a list what u really want,and i see u want love ,and a kiss ,so...go for it!!! ,sometimes cause shy or other things we look a girl for the easy way of be friendly ,but after this comes the difficult thing: u want to start a romance,but this is the wrong way man.U need to be "agressive"i mean u need to go were u want to go as an "arrow",to the point.I know this is the difficult part ,but after this it will b easy.U have to go with all ur "weapons"as good apearence,security(very important ) ,lotion,smile,etc.And if ur dating a girl ,make her clear what u want ,but softly as "u look very nice ",comments as "i love the way u see the world""u r as this flower"etc,etc,Be poetic man!!so which girl will think someone who tell her this beautiful things will want to be just a friend?(maybe a low iq girl)u have to be more obvious,this isnt bad ,is opposite ,is a sign of "he knows what he wants "and this likes to girls .A final advice :learn to dance ,go to classes ,this make them crazy!!! specially body to body dances .And a plus:u can know more girls in this places :) i hope it helped u ,take care and tattoo in ur mind "RETRY"

Answer 4

Wow, I'm not sure what to say except be patient. To be honest, my husband was the same...i'm the first girl he's dated and he was 24 when we first started to date.... he was always shy in school, never social, always got picked on (we both did really), we're both bigger people and neither of us really ever had friends and live on the computer. When I first started reading this my first thought was "this is my husband..." To be honest, we met online... not realizing that we grew up 15 minutes apart from one another! Small world.
I understand where you're coming from but be patient. There will be a girl out there for you, you just have to give it time ... as frustrating as that seems .... Have faith and don't give up on love. good luck, and stay strong. =)

Answer 5

thats pretty much how my life has been to. not many friends and the ones i have dont go out much. what i did was start a myspace account. myspace has an area in its classifieds for personals....and its all free. i have met many people on there. some are great friends now....and i met the man of my dreams as well.

i say at least give it a try. its free so you have nothing to loose. hope this helps in any way! =]

Answer 6

dude just go out here get a doctor to write a prescription for testicles and whenever u feel ready u go and get them go out have fun talk to women cos initiating the conversation is half the battle

Answer 7

don't rely on the internet, go out and meet people. you don't have ANY friends? i'm sure you have some, so get everyone together and just go out somewhere. be sociable.

Answer 8

post ur pic and we let u know!