I feel so dirty (need girls' help especially)?

Question

I'm 19. As of a few months ago, I used to only want to date girls because I wanted companionship and to be loved. Lately, though, my sex drive has picked up (from almost nothing to a raging beast) and now I fantasize about getting it on with girls and doing dirty things with them. I worry now that girls will think of me as pig now that I have these feelings. They used to respect me for the fact that I didn't want sex just a few months ago. I feel so ashamed and filthy. What should I do?

Answer 1

there is nothing wrong with you.. every guy feels that way. and by dirty i'm assuming you mean regular sex.. if it's something dirtier that that well.. i can't help you there..

the thing that will hopefully set you apart will how you handle your feelings. girls want sex too, and i think the type of relationships you have been having have been good for you. (most) girls, and the girls i'm sure you want to be with, want sex with someone they trust and care about. so if it's someone you care about and love and give it time, and if you both WANT to, sex is perfectly fine. so seem like a nice guy so i'd avoid the 'easy' girls, i can see you getting hurt..

if you just have these raging hormones and don't want to be in a loving relationship, and just sleep around instead then you need to get yourself together. sex isn't a big deal. if it's not with someone you love it's just an hour or so of fun and that is all. (if it's an amazing person you love then it's different, but i won't get into that :) )

if it's seriously bad then you have to take care of yourself for the physical side, and then just calm yourself down on the mental side.. it's okay to fantasize about girls when you're alone or maybe looking at girls from afar, but when you're with them and talking to them it's not okay to think of them as sex objects.

just remember that your thoughts and your dreams are your own and you can do whatever you want and noone will know...

if you treat girls well when you are around them and really care about them then you have no reason to feel like a pig. the pigs are the ones who actually act on their impulses and oogle or take advantage of girls... trust me, you're better than most guys and should be proud of that even though i know it doesn't seem that way with these new feeling...

Answer 2

First of all, try to remember that your sexuality is not dirty. It is clear that you come from a religious background?

And though religion does clearly state usually that sex outside of marriage is wrong, do not take that to mean that sex is wrong, your drive is wrong, or you are wrong.

I bet that you still want companionship and love as well as sex and I'm sure that girls will understand that. Intelligent girls will not think you are a pig just becuase you are a healthy male with a healthy drive.

And, it strikes me that you are worried that you are a pig, and not just that girls will think that you are a pig. You're not a pig. You are a human male with natural drive.

Answer 3

Uhm well, don't believe everything girls tell you. Girls do love it when men suggest that they don't want sex, if the girl actually believes them, because it gives them the mental message of, "Cool, I can just relax and be myself around this guy because he's not trying to climb in my pants". Unfortunately, that also thrusts you immediately into the very dangerous Friend territory because an essential characteristic we women associate with men as things that we date is that they want to @#$%. Don't be afraid of a new influx of sexual energy - never say it straight out to a girl that you wanna hit it, but it's going to charge up your flirting with that special "gleam" in your eye, and that's NOT a bad thing. Girls want to feel wanted by men. All in all, enjoy yourself now - your early 20s are definitely the time to flirt, enjoy yourself, and sew those wild oats! Don't be ashamed - this is completely normal. Go out there and get in some good dating (and bedroom) experience so you'll be fully prepared by the time your soulmate shows up to woo her (and do her!)

Answer 4

You're a guy and most guys have that problem. What you have to do to keep the girls' respect is keep yourself under control. Controlling what you do with/to the girls in your life is so important. When you find yourself fantasizing about girls, find something else to do, get your mind off of it. Plan out what you'll do for the day, what you'll make for dinner, just simple things to get your mind off of those things.

Answer 5

Well, i believe that this is normal as the raging hormones are there. But well, i think this is normal but not good. Try as much as to control yourself and do something else to take your mind off all these. Feeling bad about it is what your conscience is telling you, but it should not make you lock yourself in your room the entire day. Try to play some sports you enjoy in, or anything else that would take your mind of it.

Answer 6

Actually I believe all those feelings are normal. You need to control yourself more. They must not like the new hormone induced you. So try to not let them know how bad you want it. You seem to want the respect they used to give. So you may have to deal with these feelings on your own time and be your normal self around the girls.

Answer 7

i think the answer think don't act. i broke up with my last bf b/c he was cheating on me b/c i wasn't able to be there every time he wanted anything. you don't want to get to the point where you will cheat on someone for sex. the more you act on it the more your going to want it and the bigger your reputation will become. if you stop while your ahead you still have time to regain some respect from the girls.

Answer 8

well all guys, and i mean all guys think about sex whether your a geek who likes star trek, or the lunch lady at school. Its all about control, if you can keep these images to yourself and not imply it in a physical sense, then you can overcome these urges and temptations. Hope this helps, stay std free

Answer 9

Lol nothing to feel ashamed about, practially every guy your age has a libido ;). Actually most girls do too, though we're not as open about it.

Answer 10

think, but dont act. most guys have these feelings and thoughts. something emotional must have just hit you. so dont act upon you're thoughts and try to be the same respectful guy that you used to be.