Was it the right thing to do?

Question

My son's puppy got hit by a car and died. My son is three years old. I told him the truth. A lot of people (his dad--my ex--included) thought I should have lied and told him that the dog ran away. What do you think?

For all of you criticizing my care of the puppy: I had put her on her little chain outside until we could get ready to go out with her. I think I had her collar on to loose and she slipped out of it. The lady who hit her was speeding and couldn't stop in time. I know it was my fault for not making sure her collar was on tight enough, but she needed to go potty and I needed to get my son's socks and shoes on.

Answer 1

I'm with you -- you should have told him the truth.

Answer 2

Life sucks, and it's hard. I think you did the right thing. Now my question for you is why did the puppy get hit? How did it happen? And what are you going to do to make CERTAIN that this horrible tragedy never happens again. I'm sure you feel bad enough but if you don't get it, as far as I'm concerned this is as bad as if your son had run out and been hit and killed. There is no difference at all. So.....what are you going to do?

Answer 3

At first, I was gonna say you did the wrong thing as your child is too young for a heartbreak. His puppy would most probably be his first love and the truth killed him.

However, after reading the responses above, I actually believe that in the long run, what you did (tell him the truth) was the right thing to do. I believe it's best to educate your child about the vulnerability of life at a young age and although it's a sad event for him, explain to him using this example will help him learn and associate how he felt to future events and he will be better off.

Not to worry, there's a silver lining behind every cloud, so I suggest that you take this opportunity to educate young junior how precious life can be.

Answer 4

I really think you did the right thing. The last thing you want to do is lie because what if he were to find out? Three year old's are aware enough in my opinion to understand that his puppy went to Heaven and maybe someday he can have another pup. As long as you told him in three year old vocabulary what happened, he understands.
Also, why is a dog running around on the streets?? Shame on you for not securing the pup.

Answer 5

Um...no. The truth is always best. My mom told me my cat ran away. The next day at school, this kid said he was sorry his mom hit my cat. I had to finish the day out at school, horribly upset, not only because I just learned my cat was dead, but because my mom lied to me. Plus, this kind of thing helps kids learn to deal with the fanality of death. It's much easier to explain death for the first time when it's an animal, than when it's a grandparent or other loved one.

Answer 6

Well, what do you value most, honesty and trust or lies and deceipt? I would be completely honest with my child as death is a natural part of life and it's best to learn it early on as death was covered up from me until I hit 12 and when my grandma died and I went to my first funeral, it was really hard to cope/understand. It was so hard at that age, it caused me to have nightmares that she was watching over my bed while I slept and at the funeral, I yelled because I thought I saw her breathing. I think you did what really should be done and that's honestly tell it but with care and sincerety along with education at the same time. Ex's (I don't have one but my husband does) always blame the custodial parent that they did it wrong. Don't take it to heart. Kids don't come with manuals, we just make the decisions that we feel are best for our child. Sorry to hear about the pup and I'm sure the young man will be fine.

Answer 7

I give you a lot of credit for telling him the truth. Too many parents wuss out and lie to their children about death, figuring they have plenty of time. Later in life, the child learns about a series of white lies you've told him and there's a short period where he/she feels like his/her whole life's been a sham. They get hit with the Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing all at once and start to question everything you've ever told him.

I say continue being honest with your son. He'll respect you more for it later.

Answer 8

You were being honest with your son. Which is excellent as far as I am concerned. By telling him some thing that isn't the truth is so old, years ago people did that to their kids. I commend you for telling your little one the truth. He will learn from you as you are setting a very good example for him. Just don't take these negative peoples opinions to heart. You did the right thing and I admire you for your honesty.

Answer 9

I am a student-teacher and recently our classroom pet died. I didnt know what to do. We had took the pet out of room before the kids arrived. My mentor teacher told me that we should just tell them the truth. We shouldnt lie to them. I felt bad about telling them, but they do have the right to know.

Since you are the child's parent, it is better for you to explain death to the child than another person. I think you made the right decision. The child may not fully grasp the concept of death, but you have made them aware of the whole thing.

Answer 10

I think you were right.Just be sure to give a "gentle" truth about the puppy dieing suitable for a three yr old.Even as an adult it is difficult to accept a lost or missing pet...I keep looking and hoping even when I know too much time has passed.For me I would want to know if the pet had died just to have "closure" and not always looking for her/him in places.

Answer 11

You did the right thing. If you told him the pup ran away he would want to look for a dog that he cant find. If you told him that you gave the pup away he would resent you for that. The only thing to do in the situation is to be honest and hope tha the will eventualy understand. I hope you feel better and Iam so sorry fro you and your son on the loss of the dog.