Distant Dog?

Question

My dog (nuetered male black lab) since I got him at 3 months has always been a little distant. He doesnt like to cuddle or even appreciate being pet on my terms. The only time I get good happy love out of him is when I come home after work, or he wants something, or knows he's getting something, or just wants a scratch on his terms...I dont understand. We do a lot of obedience together, he's not so hot on his off leash recalls quite yet, like he'd rather find something to do.
There's only been one night that we havent been together in 10 months, you'd think he'd be a bit more affectionate to me than this. It doesnt bother me all that much most of the time, I just get sad sometimes when he gives me the cold shoulder when I could use some k9 therapy. Any thoughts or remedies??
PS...I have never abused him, I work with dogs for a living, I could never hurt him. Like I said this has been going on since I got him...he used to scream when I cradled him like he was angry.

Answer 1

Don't feel sad or upset, it's not you. It's not that he doesn't love you. I'm very sure that he does. It's just his nature, like humans. Some people are very friendly, others are not. He sounds like a real good dog, I love labs. I also had a black lab many years ago.

Maybe if you try throwing a ball or stick for him in the back yard. Just as a play thing with just you and him. Or even walks every day. Take him for a ride in your car. My dog used to love to ride. I used to have to spell the word ~ride~ out to my husband when I was going to take the dog out in the car. If I didn't he would get a little too happy knowing where he was going. lol Don't stop loving him because of his personality. He does love you, it's just he doesn't show it as often as you would like. They can be like us in a lot of ways. We get times too that we don't feel like being bothered. They do too. It's okay for him to be this way. I'm sure he is healthy and I know you are very good to him. When he wants attention, he will let you know. If you cradled him a little too much, maybe you hurt him, not intentionally though. Maybe you squeezed a little too much and he was letting you know. I don't think he was angry with you tho. I hope my advice helped you out a bit. Labs are the best dog in the world to have. Good luck!

Answer 2

Who had him nuetered? You or the people to got him from? Amazingly, dogs do have longer memory spans than 7 minutes. If you had him neutered, there is the feeling of abandonment at a traumatic time. If it was the people you got him from who had him neutered, again, he doesn't know who he can trust, after all, they were the first humans he knew and they hurt him. It will take another traumatic event for you to rescue him from before he sees you as a human he can trust. A short plan would be putting him in a kennel over a week end, and the staff is instructed not to feed him or give any attention to. He will be so over joyed that you have come to rescue him. A flip side is, he knows how to control his human, and get the big A (attention) on his terms, then, do as he pleases, cause he knows you won't scold him. He has you wrapped around his tiny claw. As for the screaming when cradled, he witnessed a traumatic event, the victim was enclosed (cradled). My present litter, survivors, I picked up one by the scruff and he screamed like he saw death approaching. Enough said.

Answer 3

It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong. Some dogs have an independant personality and there isn't a thing you can do about it. It sounds like he actually loves you very much but just has a loner personality. Just like people, dogs can be very different from one another. Some dogs are cuddlers, some prefer to be with other dogs, some prefer to be alone. Next time you get a dog, find a breeder that temperment tests or a shelter that matches on personalities and tell them you want a cuddly dog. Have them pick for you instead of you picking on the cute factor (of course specify what look you are going for). It still won't guarantee you a total lovebug but it will give you a better chance of a cuddler. The Volhard Puppy Aptitude Test may be of interest to you. Until the time comes to get another dog, just love this boy like there is no tomorrow and accept him for who he is.

Answer 4

You did not mention where you got your dog from. Have you considered that maybe whoever had the pup before you got him didn't take very good care of him? Maybe even abused him?! If this is the situation then give him time. Have a trainer check him out maybe and see what she or he says. Talk to your vet even.
I can tell you're a very good puppy parent and am very patient. It could be that he never will be a cuddly dog. In which case, maybe you can get another pup who will hopefully be a cuddle bug.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Well I had to look through your other questions to confirm but now as I know your male, and he's male, I can give you my opinion. In the 24 years I've spent working with dogs, I've found that male dogs get along better with female humans and vice versa. I always get along better with the bitches than the dogs. I have had some fairly close relationships with dogs but almost always I am able to bond immediately with bitches. Beyond that I think that some people simply don't get along as well with certain dogs. I can get along with all dogs and for the most part I am able to have that deep wonderful connection/relationship but there have been times where I've worked at and tried to have it but just wasn't able to. It's strange I know but that's how it is. And you know right away if your going to have it or not. I'm not saying that you should adopt a different puppy but you may never have the relationship that you are able to with him.

Answer 6

I have a distant lab mix. I agree with the answer about the male dog/ male human aspect. My female lab mix loves my fiancee, cuddles with him all the time. His male american bulldog is the same with me.

I think you need to just realize that you will have a different relationship with this dog than you expected. It took me about 6 years to realize how much my dog loved me, she just shows it different from any other dog I have had experience with. Also, now that she is older (7 years old) she is starting to be a lot more affectionate and cuddly.

Hang in there.

Answer 7

I have a Gordon Setter that is very aloof and never shows interest in being affectionate.

I found I can steal a little affection from her by brushing her every evening while she is laying on the floor in front of the TV. She is in a nice relaxed mood at that time of the evening and loves to be brushed.

There is website you might be interested in about Holistic Canine Massage. I massage my dog and it really relaxes her and she loves it then I steal a few hugs when she is half asleep.

http://www.holistictouchtherapy.com/online-classes.html

Answer 8

Dogs are as individual as people, it 's as simple as that. Also, what you should do is mostly ignore your dog, be the pack leader, dont initiate the petting, Don't throw the ball for him unless its your idea, stop playing before he wants to - basically, make all the decisions - be the boss! i guarantee you he will stop being so distant . At the moment, he is the dominant one in your relationship - everything on his terms, not yours.

Answer 9

You need to completely flood this dog with love. He is so underloved he is on the edge. Really, dogs need so much attention and ucnondiitonal love, this dog is just dying for your cuddles.

You work with dogs for aliving, you know this dog is special. Hug him as tightly as you can, get past the growls, and th bites if he ends up nipping at you, he is special, love him, and cuddle him and keep him close, your dog is one of the special little creatures we must take care of/ lucky you. You get to be his liberator. Yay.