My grandfather just died, and there will be a wake at the funeral. I don't think I'll be comfortable going to the wake (I'm only 14), but I'm expected to go anyway. What would be best, going or not going?
2007-02-24 16:23:37 · 10 answers · asked by Make a wish 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Why do you think you will be uncomfortable? A wake is a way in which people find closure after the death of another. Wakes in one capacity or another have been around for thousands of years. This is the way to share some happy memories and be with people that loved your grandfather, to bid him goodbye. This is where you show the last sign of respect for the soul that has moved on to be with their ancestors. This is generally done while sharing food, and is quite traditional especially in Ireland, where my family is from. I think you should go and see what it is all about, then you will no longer be nervous about attending again.
2007-02-24 16:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents. You should go, but if you are terribly uncomfortable then maybe you are better off not going or only going for a brief amount of time.
People will expect you to be there, but you need to do what's best for you. Your grieving process may be better if you don't attend. You may not want to remember you grandfather in the state he will be in at his funeral.
Do what is best for you. Good Luck.
2007-02-25 00:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one likes to go to a wake, however, you need to go out of respect of your grandfather. Dying is a fact of life, there is one guarantee in life and that is you are going to die. It will be very hard, especially if this is your first wake, but it is part of maturing and accepitng what life deals us. Sorry for your loss, I know it is hard, but be there for your family, it would not look good in their eyes if you did not go and you will later regret not saying "good bye " to your grandfather.
2007-02-25 00:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by vivib 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really sorry about your loss. I spent much time taking care of Mother in her last months which allowed me to grieve without having to attend her cremation. I miss her dearly but we had time to say goodbye. If you feel you have had closure with your grandfather then knowing you love him and he loves you should be enough. But if you did not have that closure the wake will be comforting for you to say goodbye. It is up to you-try not to dwell on it but do as you feel. Whatever your decision, it will be yours to live with the rest of your life. Again, I am sorry about your loss. Respectively
2007-02-25 00:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by knowitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your grandfather, so it would be most respectful to go. You don't have to go close to the casket. Just be there for your family. It's really not that bad. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
2007-02-25 00:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by true blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you should go to the wake. i would any how.i think that it will show respect to your family and if you cry i can garauntee that you wont be the only one. and it will make your family feel good. and you can always just keep your head down and look at the floor
2007-02-25 00:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by dudeha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go darling & pay some respect coz it's your grandpa. Don't be a coward.
(- -,)
2007-02-25 05:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard, but I would go.
2007-02-25 00:29:29 · answer #8 · answered by Tweetalette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go or you will regret it later in life .. its a family thing ...
2007-02-25 00:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do,
what you feel,
is best,
for you to cope.
2007-02-25 00:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by strawbarrycheey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋