20 Month Old with attitude?

Question

Anybody have a toddler who is extremely opinionated? Mine likes to position my husband and I around the house exactly where she wants us. If we don't do what she wants she becomes very upset. Just recently she has decided Mommy isn't good enough. I used to be everything to her, now I'm just the one who cleans her off after meals and puts her to bed. She still needs me if she hurts herself, but otherwise, she wants to be with other people. She even prefers my brother-in-law's girlfriend over me. She tells me to "go" when she's around. She calls for daddy in the mornings and only gets out of her crib if I ask her if she wants to go see daddy. She also has decided hitting me is the best way to get what she wants. She knows timeout and I do follow through with it because hitting isn't acceptable, but it's always me she hits. Any other moms having this problem? I feel like I'm only good to meet her needs and nothing else.

Thank you to all the moms who answered from experience and with kindness and understanding, you definitely made me feel better! For the rest of you, if you'd read what I wrote, my daughter does have time outs for hitting, and of course she does not get her way every time. She is generally a very agreeable, loving, intelligent child who right now is choosing to see how far she can push her boundaries. Perhaps you need to look into your parenting skills if you think severe punishment and stifling your child's personality are good ways to parent.

Answer 1

She's only 20 months old so you can bet she'll grow out of it. I'm guessing that you are the one she spends most of her time with. It's funny how the little ones walk all over the ones they love the most. ;) I have a 20 month old girl too... yours seems to be very clever and smart to be able to direct you guys to do what she wants. I haven't run into that one yet. However, she's really gotten into the hitting lately. She's had 2 time-outs today for hitting me... in the face... although I'm starting to wonder if she likes the time-outs because she gets a big hug after I scold her and she has a beautiful smile after her hug. Anyways - your daughter is seeming to test her boundaries. You're going to just have to NOT give her what she wants when you don't agree with it and let her become very upset... she'll soon learn that her demands aren't getting her anywhere and grow out of it. Best of luck to you. Just be consistent... you're doing good!

Answer 2

sounds like she is heading into the 2's a little early.
My daughter was that way when she was 2. By the time she was 3 she had out grown it. She is trying to be independant. However correcting her for hitting and bean mean is perfectly expected, she needs to know that its not ok. Cheer up she will come back around .
Hope this makes you feel better.
Morgaine

Answer 3

i think this is normal of all toddlers. when my son 27months started that behavior a few months back, my husband and i learned a few tricks
1. our son would mimic behavior, if you got upset at him and yelled at him - he would yell as well and pick up this behavior when he was upset with us.
solution: talk, don't yell
2. time outs for 2 - 3 minutes really work. my son often would hit us (still does) and consistent time outs work wonders. after a time out, i sit eye level with my son, and say simply "did you hit mommy, did you yell at mommy?, that's why you got a time out we don't hit or yell in our house."

i believe as far as a daddy fever it is normal for girls (daddy's little girl.) sometimes i try to tell my son i am sad he's not playing with me and ask for a hug or kiss - he responds positively. also, sometimes you need to play their activity of choice - not your activity of choice.
you'll get through it, it's the terrible and terrific twos!! :)

Answer 4

You need to let her know that she is the child and you are the parents. She knows she is the centre of attention and will get what she wants, and you have done this yourself. Don't let her control you. Don't do what she says. My god, YOU are the adult... maybe you need to look into some parenting classes because it seems to me, you have no idea...sorry but this child has gotten away with way too much. Do something about it quick

Answer 5

She's not even 2 yet, I wouldn't be too concerned with it right now, she's not heading for jail (like someone else suggested). She's a baby! She's testing you ... going through phases.

And if she hits you ... hit her back. Just a little tap and she'll learn that it's unacceptable.

Answer 6

You need to knock this out now!! Stay home no one over. Let her get mad you your the parent you can take it. She will get over it!! You need to be the strong one. Or you will have this 14...15...16 year old can you imagine that? It will not get any better. You give the orders and don't take them. Trust me or you will be very sorry.

Good-Luck :)

Answer 7

Gee; Where did she get this spoiled rotten child attitude. Did it ever occur to you that YOU ARE THE PARENT and SHE is the CHILD; and behave accordingly.
It isn't too late; but it will be more difficult starting from this age; but just don't let her get away with this any longer.

You are bringing up a juvenile delinquent who will probably end up in prison for murder if someone rejects her at age 15.

get real and get a good attitude toward making that child mind YOU and what YOU say.

She has a room. If she disobeys you put her in it until she screams her little lungs out.

Answer 8

this is perfectly normal behaviour...she is testing her boundaries.
From roughly 18 months to 3 years toddlers try to assert their independance and will power

YOU need to let her know what is and is NOT okay otherwise the bad behaviours will continue and most likely worsen...

Answer 9

So you take orders for toddlers? Great...I sure wish I could be around when she's in her teens. At 20 months old this little girl is in total control...WERE ARE YOUR PARENTING SKILLS?