Where do I start to pickup the pieces after learning of my bf of 10yrs.has not suffered with ED?

Question

I've remained celibet 4 the last 6 out of 10yr nightmare.I supported him in his"disorder" while watching my prime fly by.All the while he'd been in constant contact{sexual}w/several woman.90%were married &1 even preg.{not his}Now here I am 10yrs.older and sooooooo much dumber.I have waves of saddness,remorse,and many feelings of lose.I think I need to move out of this area to ever start healing! Everything reminds me of him here,and I have no friends I'd be leaving.I've placed myself in a limited life and I really don't know how I became so blind.

Answer 1

run now...go, start over.

Don't be afraid, you have family, right?

Answer 2

This will be a long and difficult struggle, and you may not be able to overcome this anytime soon. But the key is to keep yourself moving and keep yourself busy.It's time get away from your bf, and lean on your friends and family for support.Plan events with your friends and family to keep your mind occupied. Plan fun activities,things that you have always wanted to do, but never had the time to do it. And dont be afraid to do things alone, this will teach you how to be self sufficient,and independent, and do some travelling.Make appointments to see a counselor, to ease your mind.Nothing will bring back all those years,but wasting your time mourning over it will not help.Life is too short for that.
Make new friends and fine new places to hang out.All the best!

Answer 3

There's a good saying, "There are two best times to plant a tree; one is twenty years ago, and the other is now." Plant your tree now. Don't think of all of the time that you could have been without him and better off, be better off now.

The healing process takes awhile, but take everything one day at a time and enjoy what you can. Maybe a move will help. You never know what new places may bring to you!

Answer 4

Oh my GOD!!! 10 years ! I am so mad and I don't even know him. How could he have done this to you?. Look, you are not dumb or dumber. You believed in him. This man was with you for a long time and you were simply believing, having trust on your BF. This is what we are supposed to do, trust our partner. However, this guy took advantage of you. He is an a**! He lied to you, took advantage of you and went around sleeping with women that were married to other men. Oh my God, you should call those husbands and let them know that their women were cheating with him. You didn't miss much darling. Sex is good when we are with someone who loves us and who values us and make us feel good. I bet you didn't feel that happy with him, did you? So I bet that being intimate with him would have hurt you even more because he would have used you. At least you can walk away now and know that he didn't get any from a wonderful, caring woman like yourself. Let that looser keep getting some from women that belong to other men and not to him. Never allow him back into your life because I betcha he'll be back crying like the dog he is. Allow yourself time to cry, suffer, feel down BUT you HAVE TO move on! Don't allow him to destroy the woman you are. He doesn't deserve that type of control. Move away if you can, near family and friends that love you. There is nothing wrong with being single. And whatever you do, don't be friends with him please. You don't need friends like him. Tell him that with friends like him , you don't need enemies. Block his number, get rid of his things, change the locks and let everyone know that you two are broken up and that he should never come around you again! Love yourself first darling you are worth too much for this scum bag! Oh and resist the impulse of calling him. Erase his # from your cel phone and throw away any papers you have with his number and address. Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

If you have health insurance, it's time to see a psychiatrist. I can't imagine why anyone would hang onto a situation like that for so long, but you desperately need to know what led you to do so. Any relationship that goes much longer than three years without entering into marriage probably is going to fail, whether you eventually marry or not. Notice that this is about the time you entered your celibate period.

(DPL...ED=erectile dysfunction.)

Answer 6

Get a lawyer. First off, if you were living together for 10 years, then you are his common law wife in many states. I know you can get financial support garnished from his wages. MAKE HIM PAY LIKE IT HURTS MEN MOST! Then get a restraining order and keep those ducks in a row...I'm not kidding. You will gain your self worth back and then you can move on. Get some counseling on his paycheck too! You have suffered and he should reimburse you. I"M NOT KIDDING!

And btw...there are just LOADS of single men out there! So don't worry about that.

Answer 7

Don't belittle yourself! Get mad and stay darn good and mad at him! He controled your life for 10 years - don't give him the satisfaction of one more minute! (I don't know what ED is, but I got the point.) It is expected that you would feel all the emotions a person can feel. It's like a death - you are in mourning. Time is a great healer! Don't give in to depression even if you have to see a counselor for awhile - you know that would be a good idea.

Answer 8

Leave, go, get out now. I know we're making it sound a lot easier than it is. The fact remains that he kept you celibate while he played around and that's just not cool. I agree you need to move away and start your life anew. Reconnect to you and life will unfold.

Answer 9

Move and start over. If you don't feel like you have anything holding you there then whats the point of being there.