Ladies who are expierended Mommies, i need help!?

Question

Is it ok to just never start to breast feed? I know i would feel uncomfortable walking through the store with my boob showing, but i heard that if i didnt breast feed that i would never be connected to my baby as others. I also wanna just feed with a bottle so the Daddy can bond with him...

Answer 1

I bottle fed my daughter and we have a great bond.
there is no reason why you can't bottle feed.
I recomend pumping you breast for the first few days and feeding to baby as it has colstrum and baby needs that.
Morgaine

Answer 2

Weather or not you breastfeed does not mean you will or won't bond with you child. Before you base your decision on not being able to walk through a store or the babies daddy not being able to feed, keep in mind that you can express breast milk and put it into a bottle. I have three children, the first two were exclusively bottle feed, the last was breast feed until three months (would have liked to go longer, but that is another story) I feel that I am very close to all of my children. You need to decide what is best for you and your family, if you feel stressed about breastfeeding, your child will feel stressed too, which isn't good for either of you. Think it over, best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I am a mommy of two-one is 5 and the other is 4 months.
I didn't breast feed with my oldest and we are very close. I breast fed my 4 month old for two months and quit because I felt it was very time consuming.
You do not need to breast feed in order to bond with your baby. Just holding your baby, showing affection and being there for him or her can help you to bond.
However, if you choose to breast feed, do not feel embarressed to feed in public. Find a bench, or a private area (where ever you feel most comfortable), cover your baby and breast with a light blanket and feed away. It keeps everything private, making you and others feel comfortable. As for the baby's daddy, once your baby is past 6 weeks old, try pumping. Find a book on pumping and storing breast milk. When I started pumping, it made things so much easier. My husband and baby sitter was able to feed my youngest son, while I did what I needed to do. Of coarse, I still fed from my breast, at least once a day (right before bed). I tried a hand pump and found that it is just as time consuming as feeding from the breast. I liked the electric, it only took 15 minutes to pump two full bottles. Pump whenever you are not feeding at the breast. You can find many books and other resources at your library that will answer all your breast feeding questions. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

First, I breastfed both my children, and NEVER once walked through a store with my boob showing. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Give breastfeeding a try. There are many reasons women have for not doing it - but the reasons you gave show you don't have all the information you need.

I would feed my first in a dressing room (not a stinky bathroom). By my second, I'd find a secluded booth in a fastfood store (or go through a drive through) order my son a snack and feed my daughter (with a blanket draped over my shoulder).

And my husband bonded beautifully by holding, burping, changing, etc. And as each baby got older I would often supplement with bottle that daddy would give or leave them w/grandma with a formula bottle and they did very nicely. I would also keep individual packets of formula & bottled water for times when they needed to feed and I just couldn't breastfeed,and they did just fine.

I saved A TON of money by breastfeeding, I NEVER had to worry about if I had formula on hand or having a place it make a bottle and warm it up, and it was very quickly that I learned how to do it so it freed up one hand. I could do a lot of things without have a baby in one hand and a bottle in the other.

At night the my babies slept next to the bed in a bassinett, when they woke, I just got them out, fed them, and put them back without ever having to get out of bed!

And I knew I was provided THE BEST nutrition out there - for free. It wasn't a bonding thing - it was a practical thing. (And breastmilk poop doesn't stink)

Answer 5

Whatever! Anyone who told you that you would not be as bonded to your child because you didnt breastfeed is disturbed! I breastfed for 3 months and it was hard! DAMN HARD!! I never produced enough milk and ended up supplementing with formula and pumping all day long just for a few drops!! I know, I know breastfeeding is the best food you can give your newborn, but there are millions upon millions of babies who grow up happy and healthy and the only way to tell if they were breastfed is ask their moms. You cant tell, I cant tell...and bonding has nothing to do with it. I know many moms who never breastfed due to work complications or just gave the babies the first milk. Its ok. The relationship to you and your baby is like no other. And that is great that you would let Daddy in on the experience of feeding and caring for the baby so he can see its not all about showing that baby your boobs! Congrats and Good Luck!

Answer 6

I know what all the books say and such but I will tell you that I have raised 3 daughters and now have seven grandchildren. My first two daughters were not breast fed but the last one was. I am not as close to the youngest as I am the other two. I am raising my youngest daughter's 2 toddlers and have had them since the 3 year old was 3 months old and the little girl (who was a preemie) came home from the NICU. The preemie was the only one breast fed and it was only for 2 months but my youngest is not close to her children at all and the other two daughters did not ever breast feed and they are extremely close to their children.

So I have to say that it is just a myth and it seems that everyone wants mom's to nurse but it does not make you closer to the child. You will still bond with the child and you will not be solely responsible for every feeding.

Answer 7

speaking as a mother who has done both it is your choice.While I am pro breast feeding I am not anti bottle either. With my first son I tried but due to a problem and unfortunate advise by my then Dr I stopped and put him on the bottle. I am no less boned with him than my second son who I breast fed till he was around 16 months. And my husband is no more bonded with my oldest bottle fed boy than my youngest breastfed one. I say if you want to breast feed but are concerned about doing it in public because of the unfortunate attitude some people have. Don't let that stop you. There are many ways to go about it if necessary while you are out with baby. Many places now have family restrooms with breastfeeding stations in them. You don't have to "have your boob's showing" There are many ways and methods to cover yourself while nursing in public. And as for you husband bonding with the baby if you nurse the are other things he can do besides feed the baby. He can rock it to sleep,play with it,bath it,sing to it,change its bum and so on and so forth. So ultimately the choice is yours. If you have more concerns than just what you mentioned I would suggest doing some more research on both subjects in order to make and educated choice. It is just that though your choice. Neither makes you a better or worse mother.

Answer 8

Of course it's okay, but it does sound like you could benefit from getting a lot more info about breastfeeding before making a final decision. I breastfed six babies (not all at once!), fed them in public all the time, and never showed my boob to anyone. Wait-- that's not true-- there was this friend of hubby's that didn't realize the baby was feeding at the time.... but I digress. ;)

A lot of women these days don't feel comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. For some, it's because all they've known is the cultural sexualization of the breasts; boobs are for men's enjoyment/women's adornment, and nothing else. For some, it can be a sort of a "personal space" issue; I've heard women say, "I've shared my body for 9 months with the baby, I don't want to keep sharing it for another! I want my body back!" For others, there may be a history of sexual abuse or rape, causing some very real issues with such constant and intimate physical contact with a "sexual" body part. All of these can be a very real hindrance to a woman's acceptance of the thought of herself breastfeeding her infant once it is born. But, they can also be overcome!

Breastfeeding can be difficult in the beginning, but it can also be one of the most rewarding aspects of new motherhood. I urge you to educate yourself, maybe even attend a breastfeeding class or support group and talk to some women who have had positive experiences, and consider giving it a try. If it doesn't work out, or if you just don't like it, you can always switch to formula then. If you start off with formula and start to regret never trying to breastfeed, it would be very difficult (although not impossible) to try to relactate and breastfeed. So, in that respect, there's really not much to lose!

Best of luck!

Answer 9

It is perfectly ok for you to bottle feed. In fact, I think it would be detrimental to your bond with the baby if you are uncomfortable breastfeeding and do it anyway, out of a misguided feeling of duty. I breastfed all 3 of mine because it was something I felt strongly about, and as a young mom and the baby of the family (I had 5 neices and nephews by then) all my sisters were quick to give me unwanted advice and tell me I wasn't doing things right. I had a wonderful doctor tell me that g'ma might be able to diaper the baby more efficiently, and aunty might be able to soothe the baby when he was colicky, etc (you get the drift), but if I breastfed, no one but MOMMY could feed the baby. This gave me a sense of impowerment like nothing else. And later on, after my schedule was established, I pumped milk so my hubby could feed them, or he gave them bottles of water or juice. Whether you choose to nurse or bottlefeed is a personal decision, and you shouldn't let anyone pressure you one way or another. Do what feels comfortable for you, and it will be comfortable for your baby.

Answer 10

My first two were breast-fed; my third I had to express milk for him and bottle-feed him. Now for someone who does not deal well with night feeds I can certain recommend breast-feeding. I know of several women who bottle-fed during the day and breastfed at night. I know of other women who found it painful to breastfeed. I thought it was great, no worrying about temperatures, no worrying about sterilising, no worrying about taking enough formula when going somewhere. I do not know where you are, but we have a lot of lovely mother's rooms around where I live. And I actually had one lady say to me while I was feeding my daughter with a light cloth draped from my shoulder and over my breast and her face, "Aren't they sweet when they are sleeping?" Most people do not even know you are feeding when you are in public. There is also no reason to feel embarrassed about breast-feeding. Give it a try, you might find it easiest for yourself. Not to mention being able to sleep more because you do not have to wake up for longer periods of time during night feeds and if it is one thing you'll be looking for more of when you first come home with your baby that is enough time for sleeping.

Answer 11

I never breast-fed my son and we are forever bonded. I don't think it is a bonding issue, myself. My belief on bonding deals with how you love, raise and care for your child, not how they were fed in the young years.

Sure, there is evidence that the breast milk might help them be more immune to certain things. There are certainly findings that make it a choice worth considering. But I never wanted to breast feed, didn't feel comfortable with it. I think if you don't feel comfortable with it, you don't need to do it. Your child will know and not be a happy one. Just my opinion.

By the way, my 14 year old is happy and healthy. His father and I have been happily married for 16 years and he shows no ill feelings about being bottle fed - he is happy we are good parents that love him.

Do what is in your heart.