Im curious b/c eventually I think my wedding will be arranged..
2007-02-24 13:57:28 · 22 answers · asked by ~*~K€§§Y~*~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well even if you pick your own partner as your family is forever and a spouse may not be I would suggest you get approval of your parents. And you can help with that. If you think your parents think with their experience and wisdom they can pick wiser than you are at a young age when often beauty is seen as more desireable than goodness of the body soul and heart I would discuss with them at least being able to participate to some extent in selecting your intended or meeting him first with everyone around. Because if he cannot respect you with your parents around nor respect your parents then he will not be the right person for your parents or you. I am sure your parents know his parents but this does not mean that he is going to be as good as his parents. He may be better, he may be worse, he may be equal or just different. Love is not what one has when they first meet that is physical attraction which often ignores things of more importance such as fidelity, responsibility, decency, honesty etc. As my understanding is often in India doweries are given away to help women still get married. I would ask your parents to be careful how they pick because men have been known to marry many times for the dowery then the young women have died in a tragic accident so they can marry the person they prefer while still retaining the dowery of the young woman they murdered. Make sure he cares for you and wants you for the right reasons. I am really against the dowery thing for that reason.
The dowery given should be in regards to gold jewelry for the wife so that if she is in need ever she can take her jewelry and pay for emergencies by selling it or get away from a dangerous bad situation and not for the man who marries her. That is what many cultures do and I think it is a good one after being a physically abused wife at one time.
2007-02-24 14:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by Faerieeeiren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is working for me, I had a arranged marriage 14 years ago and of course we were not both from the same culture. We only found out on our wedding day that we don't belong to the same culture. Today we have 3 kids. Do we have differences, yes we do as everyone else, It doesn't matter if its love marriage or arranged marriage. A marriage is base on honesty, love, feeling,respect,and respect not only for each other but also for both sides of the families.Understanding is the key of succeed in a marriage.Do you see t.v news, School time sweet hearts and have killed today.Does this mean love marriage always last. Check it out with a local lawyer, which kind of divorce is more. A love or arranged.
2007-02-24 14:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
any kind of marriage requires a lot of effort to b gud so dont hesitate to enter an arranged marriage .do meet the guy a few times before marriage and try to ensure that u hv a few simmilar intrests and the person is likeable as a frd.
rest assured that all marriages require the same patience to suceed .only those who think that a known devil is better than an unknown one will look at arranged marriage with a closed mind.
gud luc
2007-02-25 01:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by ng2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They mostly do, because they have the blessings of both sets of parents and other well wishers. But for every marriage (arranged or love) both partners have to work hard and team up to make it work through thick and thin. But arranged marriages do get a head- start .
2007-02-24 14:07:18 · answer #4 · answered by Nilufer S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not hard and fast to be work out but in many sense it will long last. As there remains pressure of elders, both husband & wife will cool down in any serious situation and also they will not be open so much because there they will feel shyness among their relatives and freinds. If not arranged they will have no any bondage between them of shyness, or to live by pressure of elders.
But in very serious situations when there will be no possibility of living together , then they will divorced.
2007-02-24 21:11:25 · answer #5 · answered by SKM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they do...most of my family members who had arranged marriages are great..and we always have a blast when we visit them. Like the new guy or girl have no problems and everyone is fine with them. I guess the reason why it has such a bad name is if u happen to somehow get the wrong person..like if your parents aren't really looking for someone who fits u..rather they are looking for just their own ideal son/daughter in law...but in my experience..i havn't seen any problems with them..and hey arguements are in any type of marriage..even if it's arranged or not..:)
2007-02-24 14:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by grooveygurl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Mine's working perfect. Never dreamt that it could be so pleasant. And just to bring to your notice, I've seen a hell lot of couples around leading a happily married life. Most of them, infact just six of them are love marraiges, while the count of arranged marraige couples is as about eighty. Although, one of those of those love marraige couples are on a verge of breaking off, and another one pair have already separated.
All the best...
:-)
2007-02-25 09:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first all of I want to ask u 1 que friend..... can u ans that DO LOVE MARRIAGES REALLY WORK OUT?
afterall life is the challenge ... and to accepts this challange every1 needs strong partneer.... but in fact nobody knows what will happen in the future.... WHEN U FALL IN LOVE u think just possitive points in that person and just think or dream about the happiest moment in the life no1 think seriously abt actual life ......
but the life in dreams and in real are very diff from each other when we realizes life in love we shock........
but in arrange marriages human thinks all those points which will come infront in the future.......... which should b negative or positive.......... and also thinks to solve that problems without giving any tension to the other famialy members......... bcz its RESPONSIBILITY,,,,,,,,
WHEN I DREAM AND SAW THAT LIFE IS BEAUTY (LOVE MARRIAGE);
WHEN I AWAKEN I FOUND LIFE IS DEAUTY (ARRANGE MARRIAGES)
2007-02-24 17:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by AARYAN S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they do kavya, you can take examples of your own parents!! take examples from your neighbourhood.. and if you really want to, every marriage can work out where sensible and sensitive people stay. Just your way of percieving things in life makes it a lot more easier you know.. Wish you all the best.. kavya nice name tho!!
2007-02-24 17:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by Deeps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no...whether it is arranged or love marriage. Wife and husband should love, care and respect each other. Remember...there is nothing called perfect marriage!!! There will be compromises, arguments, caring..
2007-02-24 16:27:14 · answer #10 · answered by Nice Conv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋