Having babies very close in age, what to tell the daddy to make him feel better?

Question

Our son is going to be 7 months old and I'm pregnant again, very soon, I know. My man is very worried, shocked , scared, cause he didn't want to have babies so close in age, I understand him. I'm shocked as well, but at the same time I want to feel good and happy, cause children are a gift from heaven. If you have had back to back children then I would like to know of your experience with that. That would help my husband feel a little bit better

Answer 1

I have 2 children that are only 13 months apart. Its like having twins. yes, its stressful, but you get to see them enjoy mutual interests at the same time. I was terified from this when my wife told me, we were worried about how we'd support them all, how we'd last in our marriage, and how it would effect our oldest son. things worked out well. I wouldn't change anything about it at all.

what to tell him?

1. diaper changing is over before you know it. instead of having a 2 year break and then another 18 months to 2 years of diapers, you get all over at once.
2. they always have a playmate.
3. they play with the same toys for a long time
4. they protect each other at school later on.
5. the watch the same cartoons
6. The end up about the same pase around 3&4. so you can do a lot of activities that a large difference in age may have found boring.

Answer 2

Our kids are all less than two years apart, the closest in age are 15 months apart, and they are best friends. They fight sometimes, but they are always there for each other, clothes are passed down so you are saving a fortune on clothes.
You'll have to buy a booster for your son anyway, so the baby can have the carseat, eventually he'll need a booster for eating, so the baby will have the high chair, it's all stuff you would have had to buy for the boy, you just have to buy it sooner and you just won't have to buy anything new for the new baby. :-)
Could be worse? You could tell him it's triplets, then when he recovers, one baby in there sounds so much easier?
We have seven, so for us it feels like we've been doing night feedings and diaper changes for years (and we have! For the first time in 13 years we have kids that sleep through the night, and no breastfeeding, and only ONE in diapers. Woohoo)
So if you're only planning on two, this will pass, and you won't be like my friends who have a 12 yo and a 1 yo. They got used to sleeping and reasonable child and everything, now they are dealing with toddlers and potty training etc, all over again!

Answer 3

I have one better for your husband. I had been raising my grandson who was 3 months old when my husband and I found out she was pregnant again. The second child ( a little girl) was born 2 months early and we brought her home at 6 weeks old. There is only 10 months difference in their ages. He will be 4 this year and she will be 3.

They are a blast and I can't imagine my life without them. It is a lot of work and for a while they will be on two different levels but she is about the same size now and they look like twins. They play together and my husband takes them fishing. He can now handle taking them to the park alone. Before he needed help but now they are so much fun. Don't get me wrong, they are a lot of work but they are so worth it. And you are reading this from a woman who had all of her children 3 years apart and was done raising children years ago. They try to read books together, they watch and like the same shows on TV, they like the same music and they have the same friends.

Tell your husband to stop freaking out and to enjoy them. I freaked out like you wouldn't believe when all of this happened to me but we adjusted and we are very glad that we have taken them in. They are so much fun to be around.

Answer 4

My son was also 7 months when we found out we were pregnant again. Talk about shock!! I was breastfeeding him and when that relationship changed with my son I just "knew". My hubby was so scared...and truthfully so was I. Some days just raising my son was hard enough and I couldn't imagine another.

But, my son is now a year and I'm 21 weeks. He is so much more independant now. He understands simple commands and is starting to talk. He's feeding himself and playing alone. He's exploring and discovering...I feel so much easier about it now. I realize he's going to have so much fun with his little brother :))

I have a lot of friends who also have "irish twins". They always tell me how difficult the early years are, but after three they are so much easier. When you teach one to ties shoes or go to potty the other just picks up on it. The younger one doesn't want to be left out! Plus, this way your child bearing gets over quicker and you can develop a sense of normalcy easy. Having them three years apart and potty trained when the next one sounds nice, but can you imagine having three - you'd be doing that cycle for NINE years!!

Congratulations and good luck!

I'm so excited at this point - I think it will be easier to entertain them because they'll be on the same maturity level. And, will enjoy similar things at the same time.

Answer 5

Enjoy that all the chores like changing nappies and or bottle feeding will be over in quick succession