Different views on abortion between myself and girlfriend.?

Question

Ive been having a problem with my girlfriend for like 3 weeks now. Ive been with her for three years, but whenever we talk about the subject of abortion we end up getting mad at each other. I don't approve of it, its just something I really oppose for my own personal reasons, and she does. I don't know if this is something that can break a relationship up or not, but I wish I knew what to do. I believe myself to be a good Catholic I go to mass every Sunday when I can, and she wants to be a catholic, but i don't know how to explain to her if she can still be a Catholic with her belief that abortion is ok. Just lost, and wish we didn't have to argue about this.

I mean abortion in general, you weirdos. we dont have sex yet, we arent even married.

Answer 1

there are always those if's and's or but's... i'm one of those people who generally oppose it, but as a woman i have to believe it's necessary sometimes. for instance if a woman is raped, i would consider her getting an abortion a good idea. in this respect, the woman has to decide what is best for her and the potential baby. perhaps, if the Catholic Church is right and God sees abortions as a sin, He would still have the unlimited ability to forgive. A woman may be sorry to have an abortion, but look at her options.... if she has her baby caused by rape, she will have to then look at the product of a day she will never forget but wishes she could. not to mention the man who raped her would be half of what that child is made of. and will probably look like the rapist in some way. also, although not 100 per cent guaranteed, genetics is sometimes involved in a person's agression. if the rapist had a mental problem that made him an aggressive person the child MIGHT have those same problems. now think of the child. maybe the mother will never express any contempt toward her child, but the child will grow, one, without a father and two, knowing or finding out that he is a product of rape. these aren't things to easily overcome. and chances are will have serious detriments to the child's and mother's development and future.

another potential sort-of positive of abortion is the health of the mother. sometimes, especially if she is experiencing a very very slow miscarriage, an abortion would be the safest bet for the mother. with slow miscarriages, a woman can experience a threatening amount of blood loss.

i'm not trying to make you accept abortions, though. for the most part i think they are wrong and for any woman to be careless and think she can get all the abortions in the world as long as she can keep having sex all the time, blah blah blah... is just stupid. and she should be forced to suffer the consequences even if she has to put the baby up for an adoption.

maybe your girlfriend feels similarly to how i do. if she does, find room in your heart to accept her beliefs, even if they do interfere with her desired faith. in the end it is upto God to judge us... not any human being on this earth. not even our parents or husbands or wives. if this is something that seriously will determine your continuation with this relationship, perhaps finding a more "catholic" woman for you would be best. if she believes that it's okay to get an abortion "just because" than... i don't think i'd be able to stay in a relationship with someone like that. she wouldn't seem to be a person who puts much value on life.

accept your girlfriend and her beliefs. find some sort of common ground even if it's not all completely agreeable. if you can't find a common ground on things that mean a lot to you, just remember if you end up marrying a woman like that, you will always be on uncommon grounds with those certain things. and remember too, in the end, only God judges. who are we to judge? there are millions of religions in this world, and though many proclaim theirs as the true religion, that is just proof that no one really knows. but most of us do believe in God's ability to forgive. Jesus loved everyone and the ones he loved the most were the ones who needed His guidance the most. even if they never believed in Him, He loved them anyways.

Answer 2

Whether or not it's a deal breaker is up to you guys. Something you should think about, though, is what happens if you get married and she has a problem pregnancy. My brother and his wife ran into that issue, although the positions were reversed - she opposed abortion for any reason, and he was willing if it was necessary to save her life. They ended up not needing to make that decision, but figuring this out before you guys go any further would be a very good idea.

Answer 3

I have been married ten years. I know we are both atheists, but I haven't the slightest idea what my wife thinks about it. I am pro-life and being that we are both atheists I would guess she has a different spin on it. At least that would be the odds.

I can't see making this a big deal. My wife and I disagree on politics all the time. It just isn't a personal thing to either of us. We never argue about it. We usually don't even talk about politics.

Answer 4

The truth is you need to be mature enough to let the ppl around you have their own opinions. You get mad because you think you're right, but the truth is, it's only an opinion. She has the right to see things the way she wants. Go online and read about abortion, not from Christians or catholics but from scientist. We are all different and every person is unique. Your going to have to learn this sooner or later.

Answer 5

Just let her be. There are many Catholics who are pro-choice. Does that make them bad? No. Just avoid the subject and don't try to talk to her about it becuase it will cause a lot of problems and she might leave you. This silly issue isn't going to break you away from the woman you love, would it? As long as she doesn't bother you then don't bother her about it. When you die, you want to say you live life meaningfully not bickering about trivial issues.

Answer 6

In the end, it's up to the woman, and a guy can't really ever understand what a woman faced with that decision is going through. I know many religious people who are pro-choice, including Catholics - and many have had an abortion for one reason or another.

So stop arguing with her about it. In the end, it's never going to be a decision you'll have to make.

Answer 7

I m getting tired of reading peoples opinion that it is a right. Nothing can be futher from the truth. Yes we have free will, but not to do whatever we want to do, that is not freedom, that would be licence. No one has the right to choose evil especially terminating a life which begins at conception simply to enjoy some personal freedom. How often, how very often we believe in the lie. Deciding for ourselves what is good and what is evil. Eve was coersed in doing the same thing in the garden of eden So it was in the beginning and so it is now

Answer 8

I am opposed to abortion as well. Though it is not a personal issue for you now, what if you get married and she concieves and decides she is not ready for a child yet? Or if years from now, after having one or two, or ten, she decides she just can't handle one more? How does she feel about reading scripture to her children, or taking them to church? Is your girlfriend a believer? If she is, then maybe you can work it out-but you are wise to consider it carefully.

Answer 9

I personally believe the father should have a say in abortions but that's not likely to ever happen. You have to consider that, if she thinks it's okay, she may one day have one and that it would be your child. With your different beliefs, that would definitely break the relationship but there would be much more pain.

Answer 10

Sometimes people just feel differently, and will never agree on certain things. It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. This might be a subject that you just shouldn't discuss with her, since it's clearly a hot-button topic. Just make sure that you use a condom if you guys have sex, because that's where YOUR choice in the matter ends.