We have a serious relationship and i know he loves me and i know he's serious because he introduced me to his friends and family, we even spent christmas at his family's home. We have plan to get married someday, that's why i know we are serious. My question is why at one point he has problem telling his ex wife about me? once i overheard that he said, "yes i have a girfriend now but not sure if we are serious or not, you know i'm kind a loner" i mean what? i confronted him and he said that his ex's fragile woman and he's afraid to hurt her feelings plus he still feels guilty for divorced her, it's just his nature to have tendency of guilt over something which doesn't make any sense for me sometimes! And i feel it's just not fair to me if he said something like that not to hurt his ex wife's feelings but end up hurting my feelings. Am i being selfish for getting upset?
2007-02-24 12:57:12 · 8 answers · asked by Nadia Miller 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
P.S. They don't have children.
2007-02-24 13:17:54 · update #1
I wans't ask me to mention about me to his ex wife, even tho it would be great if we's willing to do it. He mentioned about me to his ex wife because she asked if he's in relationship or not and that's his answered i mentioned above.
2007-02-24 13:22:23 · update #2
I wasn't asked him to mentioned about me, it's his ex asking him.
2007-02-24 13:24:25 · update #3
its really not her business what he is doing. You don't say if children are involved, if yes, she may just be nuts enough to make his life hell if she knew. she may do that if there are no children. He may be making your life easier by not saying anything to her. I would give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
2007-02-24 13:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is not that serious, he is playing games . So you should pull back a little. How would you feel if you were his es wife would you want him to tell you with the history you guys had. You could look at it in way that he is trying to protect both of you from conflict and he is being nice just to keep the peace. She is not important right now but put your guard up and pay attention of how she brought up. Like does the family still talk about her and invite her to open events? Just pay attention and listen to yourself if your not comfortable with something communicate with him and let him know how it makes you uncomfortable but do not get mad because he did not mention you to her. It is not important and make sure you are clear that he is ready to move in. You know your man the best you are already discussing marriage so get everything out before you make the big step and he does not have to say anything because she already knows. So pay attention to details.
2007-02-24 21:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by PiNeApPle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no your not being selfish for getting upset I would feel the same way and it would make me question the real reason that he isn't saying anything it would make me think that he may be holding out hoping that she will take him back especially if I heard him say what he said about not being serious and that he is kinda a loner.
In my opinion he would be just that a loner. If he can take you around everyone but there is tension when he tells the ex about your relationship all is not peachy keen.
2007-02-24 21:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off your not being selfish but i kinda understand him as i went through something very simular. i still talk to my ex but i also never hide anything from either of them ( new wife and ex wife) alot of people say i am an overly honest person so it is hard for me to understand a lie to the ex that hurt u he needs to be a man and tell her especially if he is gonna talk to her still with u in the picture. my ex and i are great friends now but thats all we are and my wife knows that and while she does not like it sometimes she does trust me and accept it i just keep it to a minimum with the ex
2007-02-24 21:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by JOHNATHAN A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes... there's a reason...
And that reson is, he doesn't want to put you off by telling you he was married once before and that relationship failed. He's thinking (more than likely) that if he tells you that his last marriage failed, that you're going to assume that marrying him would only lead to another failed relationship. That's what I would think in his position. His reason might be different, but it's as good a guess as any other.
2007-02-24 21:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by bloodline_down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not selfish, he is just a p*ssy. She is the ex and he is still afraid to tell her about you! Tell him that he needs to worry more about you than about her and if he doesn't he will have plenty of time to worry about her because he will be alone. He needs to get over her. Besides who wants a man who is still controlled by another woman.
2007-02-24 21:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want any problems with either of you. Anyways, it is none of her business anyways. Why do you think he has to talk about you? Maybe you want some trouble? I think you should watch your step. You might get what you wish for.
2007-02-24 21:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sounds like she still wants him..
You are playing right into her hands.
If you get upset and take it out on your dude, he isnt going to want to be there.
Stop worrying. Its you he is with.. and its up to you to make sure he wants to stay.
2007-02-24 21:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Gail : 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋