I'm not being allowed to speak with my son when I call, can anyone offer some help?

Question

A long story so bear with me. My son is now 3 yrs old and I love him with all my heart. I've been fighting for visitation rights for 2 yrs now, so far I've gotten unsupervised visits for 3 hrs on sat. provided I compleat 6 parenting classes (witch I've done) and that was granted to me just recently. I have not yet recieved my certificate of compleation so visits have been delayed. An even longer story to describe why and how that all came to be but I wont go into that. Lets just say I was too honest and it backfired BADLY. Anyways, It's been 2 monthes since I've been able to see or here my son do to the classes are once a week and I'm loosing serios sleep over it. I call atleast 3 times in a 7 day prriod and reqest to speak with my son and I'm told either no or he's sleeping or he's not there, I then request for the mom to call me when he is able to talk and I've yet to get a return phone call. Yes I do pay child support although I'm not ordered and even that is mailed back to me!

I have all of my reciepts and a ton of video of me intreracting with my son. He has activly voiced that he wants to go with daddy. I cannot afford an attorny at this time and as for his future it's already taken care of he is in my fathers will and I've made a seperate acount with 1000.00 in it already. I can't even begine to understand the thought process because she has 2 other kids (older) who's father actually wanted nothing to do with them. I tried to get along however I decided the constant bickering was not good for my son, I stupidily tried to make it work for a year. But out of the blue she did not know who the dad was, ultimatly the dna test proved what I've been saying all along... I'm his father. As the test was being done she moved with my son and didn't tell me so this is in a scence twice now. Don't get me wrong my son is very well cared for by her so don't get the wrong idea I'm not out to bash anyone God knows I'm not perfect either

Answer 1

Man its a shame when a father wants to participate in their childs life and the mom wont allow it. Seriously theres so many kids growing up where the dad couldnt care less.

Why is it always opposite like this. Good couples that want kids cant get pregnant. People that dont want a baby do!

It breaks my heart to hear she's doin that to you man. I have a 16 month old that was an unplanned baby but I love him more than anything or anybody in the world. I'm lucky that his mom lets me see him whenever I want. I also pay for him even though I have no order to.

I dont have a solution for you and i'm sure there really isnt one since the mother holds all the cards. All you can do is keep trying to be there for your boy, let him now you care about him and want to see him. If you get any kind of contact at all he will at least know his dad cares about him. When he gets older it will become more difficult to keep you apart.

Sorry i couldnt help more but i'm pullin for ya.

Answer 2

Congratulations on completion of your classes. That was a big step in the right direction. Since you are no longer together as a couple you need to work out a solution to being parents, you're gonna be at it for a long time.
If the 2 of you aren't working things out, you need to involve a third party to help mediate. It should be someone both of you respect and trust, if that cant happen your last resort is to hire an attorney to look after your childs welfare.

If you're not thinking about him first, the rest is crap. If you can I suggest that perhaps counseling might be in order, insurance pays for this in most cases. If everyone goes, everyone learns new coping skills and right ways to be the grown up.
Try this next time you call mom,
tell her you know its busy around there but she should surely know how important it is to speak to your child. Maybe you could try and have him call each night and say goodnight. Tell her that this is all new to you too and even though the 2 of you couldn't work things out doesnt mean there was nothing, (right?)
Are you a bad person? If not, she knows that and even if she is hurting, if you respect her and just show her that what you want is what is best for your child, it will make everything alot easier.

Remember, this child is not a pawn in your adult emotional warfare. At his age he is very impressionable and does things based on love, not reason or right and wrong.

Answer 3

Hi, what a mess! Lucky for you, your son is still young. Attorneys are super expensive, and if you have the money, get one fast! Though you are the Father, it doesn't mean the Mother gets all the rights. It's assumed that though, by many women. If your child support payments are returned to you, make sure you put those payments in a savings account where it can be documented what you've been trying to send. If you aren't allowed to speak to your son, record it if you can. Record what the person says to you on the phone. I would contact the court. See what your rights are in your state. If you have an attorney do some things for you without going to court, it will save you tons of money!! Be as responsible as you can about what you do and say. When and if you go to court you want to show a great case against your child's Mother. Good luck! An attorney will usually give you the first consultation free.

Answer 4

If she is sending the child support payments back I advise you to keep all envelopes filed, put that money in a separate account (one that will grow in interest). Right down the time and date when you call. EVERY TIME you call. Keep that notebook just for that information.Right down the answer that was given to you and the name of the person that answered that call. If you don't have a lawyer get one. There are family lawyers at low fees. Document EVERYTHING. If you send the child support payments make sure you have a receipt and/or copy of it. Keep everything. Whether you go out and buy something keep that receipt too. Continue calling about the certificate also right a letter make a copy, for yourself and send it by registered mail so that they can see you are dead serious in visiting your son. You have the right to see, speak and spend time with him. Look into any nonprofit organizations that may help you. They do exist. You will literally have to spend a lot of time documenting and writing letters. Whenever you write a letter make 3 copies always mailing one to yourself and kept to show a judge when the time comes. If push comes to shove go public with your story. Call your local news station and see. Let them see what the meaning of a true dad is. Don't back down. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Not sure what state that you are in, but, most of them do have legal aid. They are either pro-bono(free) or it's based on a sliding fee scale. The more you are away from him, the harder it will be for him to know you, or accept you as his mother. Get help...now. Some attorneys also work out payment plans. If it's just visitation that you are seeking right now. That wouldn't cost a whole lot. I have been where you are. Find out about the help now. Just call the human resource office, ask them if they know if there is a legal aid program. Or, call information in your area.

Answer 6

If you don't have something in writing from a Judge, get it. You should be allowed to go to his daycare to visit, his preschool, etc. Trust me, there are ways especially if the other parent decides to be an a hole, that you can find legal ways of seeing your child. The other parent can't be around them 24/7 and if they were, I would just show up at their door with a Sheriff a few times to let the other parent know, that you weren't going to be bullied. After awhile, the other parent is going to get tired of explaining to their neighbors why the Sheriffs car is always at their house, and trust me, neighbors aren't stupid, they can see right through lies.

Answer 7

hi miscommunication! the ten commandments absolutely say: a million. To worship no different gods except God. 2. no longer to MAKE an image (statue) and worship it. It says especially in Genesis that we were made in God's image, and interior the second one commandment that we will no longer CREATE for ourselves a clean image. And we do not worship Jesus' image. We worship his movements - he died on the pass for us. And Jesus did not 'overthrow' the torah. He further on to it, like the former testomony prophesied would ensue. Your argument isn't grammatically appropriate, it really is fragmented and susceptible without some thing to help your claims. >Winks< awesome try, atheist.

Answer 8

Save ALL the returned envelopes and the checks. Every last one.

Set the money aside, because one day she's going to sock it to you for back support. She'll go for interest, too. If you can prove that you tendered payment in a timely manner and were REFUSED, that will lower the bite.

You need an attorney.

Answer 9

get an attorney and fight for your rights. you can still talk with your son on the phone i dont see why they arent letting you. and he 3 where could he be all day everyday? and i know 3 year olds dont sleep all day everyday. so you need to get an attorney.

Answer 10

call from a cell phone when you call, so you have records.for the judge,, keep all child support reciepts... request a hearing