My son started 7th grade, in Australia that high school, we discussed what was expected of him. We extended his bed time by an hour and gave him 1 hour of tv in the evening and set aside 1 hour for his homework. The school gave him a diary to keep his homework assignments in. In the 3 weeks since school started he has only completed a few things, either not writing them down or just lyeing about what is expected. I started by grounding him from the tv. Then toys. Then everything but books. So he started getting into things like my purfume just to make me angry I think. And today, Sunday, when I asked to see his weekend home work he had not finished it. He has nothing in his room, what could he be doing. When we packed his toys up I did not see is Gameboy and with homework not done I asked again he told me that it was packed. I told him I was going to go through all the boxes and if he was lyeing I would spank him, something I dont do, he admitted it was I his bed. So what do I do?
2007-02-24 11:22:30 · 17 answers · asked by Stephanie G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Too many teachers... too many subjects for all to call with assignments. He wears a uniform. He doesnt ever talk back or yell. When asked why he only says 'I dont know"
2007-02-24 12:23:25 · update #1
OK this is a simple issue.
that of control, you the parent are the role model!
you must show that you are in control, tell him if he does not do his homework there will be consequences, for example no TV,(for a set time. even if he does his homework). for the first week or he will most likely scream and put up a fight, hurling all his has at you!. this is were you must stay strong, after a while he will come to terms that you are not budging on your policies.
do also try to take time to talk to him about how is life is, any problems, and pay particular attention to his achievements praise him. but do not spoil
all the best
2007-02-24 11:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by francis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a 7th grader can't possibly have too many teachers to find out assignments - but maybe a phone call won't work. Maybe have a conference with the guidance couselor and ask that the teachers fill out a daily homework assignment sheet and you tell your son he must bring it home each day filled out and if he hides it or pretends he lost it or anything - then no privledges that night. If he fails a grade then he will have learned his lesson because he has to take it again. He will realize that it's better to just get the assignments and do the work.
ust be sure to go over the basics and make sure he has somewhere to write the assignments down, make sure he understands the homework given, and make sure he has some way to organize his desk/school work at home. If he continues to have problems, he may be struggling and may some underlying issue.
No kids want to do homework, but they don't like being stuck with no privledges like TV or toys either. I wouldn't spank a 12 yr old though... would just cause more resentment at that age...
I have a 14 yr old step daughter and "I don't know" and a shoulder shrug is quite common. Or "uh huh" is the "yes" equivalent to everything :).
2007-02-24 14:12:30 · answer #2 · answered by Rae T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting lots of answers here and quite frankly most of them are telling you to be a 'helicopter' parent - to hover over him and make sure he does his work. I don't think that is productive.
Homework is HIS responsibility not yours. Only HE can do it (or should do it).
Make sure he knows your expectations. Be clear about results - not the methods taken to get there. Leave the method up to him. For example, if he is realistically capable of being an A/B student then tell him you will accept nothing less than a B. In most classes he will probably be able to do that without ever doing any homework!
Don't make homework the issue. Self-responsibility and management is the issue. YOU can't make him be a self-manager, HE has to learn to do that on his own- you can give him techniques and tips but HE has to do it.
What I see going on here is a battle for 'control'. Your son is basically sending you the message that no matter what you take from him he is still in control of his homework. He is right, you really can't "win" this way! Give him back total control!
I am a HS teacher. I have three children of my own.
2007-02-25 00:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Andrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am concerned by what I am reading here and my biggest worry is that you could be ruining your relationship with your son over essentially homework. Don't get me wrong you started out well by allowing your son extras now he was in high school and then suddenly you are hammering him about lying but I don't see that you have rung his school and spoken to his teachers. It is very possible that there is no homework just as there is the possibility that there is...investigate first then approach your son. My advice is to find out what assignments are due if any then put them on the family calendar. High School is new and exciting allow him to adjust and allow him down time, its not like when we were kids and I believe kids are under enormous pressure to cope without coming home and being harassed as soon as they walk through the door. I know you want whats best for your son, I have no doubt that you are concerned about his future and well being but he will be coming up against a lot of choices he will have to make and you will need to be in an open honest relationship with him if you want to assist and guide him if you create a rift over something like homework what hope will you have when the big issues come up. As I said ring first pop them on the calendar and leave him to deal with it, its his responsibility not yours and he should deal with his homework and his consequences of doing or not doing it.
2007-02-24 11:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by Just Thinking 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is an old cliche, "Everyone knows what to do with a balky horse, except the man that owns it."
Go to or phone your child's school and set up a meeting with his teacher, guidance councillor and principal. Those people know your child and like you, they want the best for him. They may need your help and/or support too.
Raising a child is not like carving a piece of wood or molding clay into pottery. With these you can destroy it and start over, if the outcome is not satisfactory. However, you have only one chance with your child. You must do it right the first time - there are no second chances. Get professional help. Your child is worth it. Don't destroy him or allow him to destroy himself.
2007-02-24 12:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that when you mentioned the possibility of spanking that you may have gotten through to him. I would advise that the next time your son doesn't do as he is told actually follow up with the threat. Very simple, just tell him he is getting a spanking. Put him over your lap, bare his bottom and spank him a good dozen times or until he is crying good. Let him know that he can expect this again if he doesn't turn it around.
He is no different then a 7 year old.
2007-02-24 12:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are able to not have taken HER automobile keys. too controlling and lots can look controlling to a 22 365 days previous lady. she's nonetheless youthful and would not prefer to be tied down, depressing. the only way your marriage will artwork is that in case you are able to the two have relaxing mutually considering which you're the two on your 20s. You took HER automobile keys and then she had to conflict to get HER automobile keys returned. She struggled lots that she fell. in case you prefer ur marriage to final you ought to to do away with ur poor controlling habit. Your spouse needs a husband not a controlling father smothering her. She already has a daddy. I certainly have been in this same subject and that i comprehend first hand that taking her keys makes her anger upward thrust. Your spouse in all probability have been given angrier, in all probability beginning hitting u after u did such poor controlling habit. she in all probability screamed at u and hit u for doing that. you made the area worse.
2016-10-16 10:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by dickirson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his bedroom door off of the hinges and tell him he'll get it back when he's responsible enough to earn his privacy back. Make him sit in front of you, doing homework, for at least an hour each day. If he doesn't have any homeword he can do extra credit, or independent book reports. Ask his teacher to send home a note each day saying what homework he has so he CAN'T lie about it. Sit down and talk with him to find out WHY he's lying about this. Is the work too hard? Too easy? What's going on in school that he's not telling you? Finally, if he gets into your perfume again, make him sit quietly in the same room as you, no TV, no reading, no sleeping, no nothing. Just sit quietly for at least an hour.
2007-02-24 11:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
assuming that there is no mental illness , learning disability or traumatic events going on ........ you given way to much. how about a room with only a bed, desk and, lamp.. he should be made to stay there with homework( even work that you can assign)and books. aside from daily exercise (15 mins. outside) and meal time his only other interaction should be with his parents. time to think and contemplate his actions will help. don't wait he's only 12 now but can you imagine this behavior at 16.
2007-02-24 12:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by racingirl14 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to his teacher and ask her/him what he does at school and ask them to ring you when he has not done his homework. Don't let him go out until all his homework is done and take away any pocket money until he is doing his homework. Watch him when he does his homework to make sure he does it. Talk to him about why he's doing this, let him tell you it all and then ask questions.
2007-02-24 12:06:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋