Who Pays, Me Or HIM???

Question

My BF n I got into an arguement. He just moved to another city. He recently came back home, and we had a romantic get away type thing, and he fronted all the bills. Now were planning another romantic getway, but now I'm coming to HIM. Now he wants me to pay for half of the trip, which I understand, though he does make 5 times more than I do. His issue is that he doesn't think it's fair for him to always be fronting the bills. Before this whole lil arguement I had already planned on spending almost the same amount of money that he was going to spend on the vacation on basically a HUGE Thank you gift, basically really showing him that I DO appreciate everythings hes done for me. But now that he wants me to pay half, I really would be stretching my pocket to pay half, and do the gift... So do I

a)pay half and not do the whole Thank You gift, that I KNOW he would love

b)Not pay half, take a chance on us breaking up

c)pay half, and stretch my pockets

Answer 1

I think that the fact that u were willing to pay half before the arguement is a good thing. It's definitly not fair for him to pay everytime. I guess since he makes more than u he would be willing to pay more sometimes. That's probably why he paid the whole bill when i came to see u and only expects u to pay half. I think that the gift is a good idea and it shows that u r thinking about him even though u r in different cities. If I were u I would just pay half of the expenses and try to give him something less expensive as a gift for now or just trash the gift idea all together. Instead of the gift just make sure that the get-away is really special since u probably won't see him for a while.

P.S I havn't read any of the other comments but i'm sure that someone is going to tell u that women shouldn't have to pay for dinner or things like that. Listen, if u want to be in relationships u should scrap that idea. It's like me saying that men aren't supposed to have to worry about keeping the house clean. Get what i'm saying?


I just read the answers above and as u can see I was right. One person even went as far as to say that any guy who asks u to pay for anything is bad news. What does that mean any way. It's funny because i'm sure that the same woman would swear up and down that she was my equal. How can u be someones equal when u think that based upon who they r alone that they have certain responsibilities that are below u (like saying that paying isn't a woman job). It's said that women fight so hard for equality but many still get caught up in the "man job vs woman job" thing. Please don't listen to that. Don't be one of those people just pay half as u were planning to and talk to him about your financial situation. I'm sure u wouldn't want to be discriminated against because u r a woman. What these people r saying is discrimination and it's not ok just because it's against men.

Answer 2

Who came up with the idea and then planned the trip? If it was him, then he should pay. If it was you, then you should. If it was something that one suggested and the two of you talked about it and then you both agreed it sounded like a good idea and you both planned it, then I see nothing wrong with you both paying for it.

If he just wants to see if you are willing to help him pay, then it might be more important for you to agree to do it than to surprise him with a huge expensive gift. It's not always how much money you spend that shows them that you appreciate what they do, sometimes it's just the fact that you're willing to spend. I'd say if it's that important to him that you pay for half the trip, then pay for half and forget the gift, or do the gift later.

Answer 3

Since he's making more he shouldn't make an issue about who pays what. Just pay half the trip without the thankyou gift and tell him that you had wanted to buy him a nice present . He doesn't sound too generous and this is something to take into consideration for the future.

Answer 4

Hey I am sorry about what had happend and well I must say he is kind of strang but well that is kind fo saying that mine is yours and yours is mine. which is kind of all in all it doesn't matter who is paying cause well you two are kind of in a good way of geting to the big stape of relationg ship but if I am to be you I have to say that I would just pay the half and not the thank you card if you think that you want to buy himt the tank you thing you will buy him some other time when you are not streching you pocket and he should understnad that in fact I think he was suposed to be the one to buy the thank you gift. becuse you are there with him. but if you want to take the risk and the rilation doesn't mean a lot to you. then you could all was consider that you would thak the chance.

Answer 5

I'd explain how difficult the situation is for you. Maybe he doesn't realise. I can see is point- regardless of what you two earn respectively, parity is crucial. It appears that the sacrfice for him is small, wheras you are potentially giving up a lot.

However it does seem like, at best, he is being a little insenstive and ignorant. Surely he would know a bit about finance?!?!?! At worst, seems like he's being a cheapskate.

Answer 6

what kind of man would want the woman he loves to pay for half when it would be putting her in a bind. If he makes 5 times more ...it would be nice for him to be a gentleman. He will be the guy that proposes then asks you to sign a prenup. What a cheap skate. You shouldnt have to show him that you appreciate him in a financial sense....are you sure this is the guy for you? follow your heart...thats what I do.

Answer 7

Why don't you try talking to him about i first.He should understand,and if he's making that much money it shouldn't really bother him if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.Besides,if you were married,does he expect you to pay for half of everything(mortgage,electricity,food)when you barely make any money?



I guess that isn't really answering your question.

Answer 8

is your defenition of a relationship 50/50? that should give you an answer! something I like to say to girls is......on a first date should the man pay, women pay or should they go dutch? when they respond " the man should pay" then I reply with.... "whats the difference between that and say.........prostitution?"

Answer 9

Some people might bash me for saying this, but,

NEVER PAY HALF.

A guy who wants you to pay for ANYTHING is no good. Please trust me on this.

If you offer, and one out of 10 times he says ok, thats fine. But if he demands it, be warned. I think he's bad news!!!!!!!!

I hope you see that this is true - I'm dead serious.

Answer 10

I think that you should pay 1/4 then pay him back later. If he loves you he want care if you pay $1.00.