I have had this issues for the past 10 years or so. All fo my ex-boyfriends are married and I am still single. I still have great friendships with them (we dont hang out or anything, but we do talk about once a month). Each time I found out that they were getting married, it was like a year after we broke-up. Every last one of them said something that carried the same tone "I tried to marry someone just like you" But get this guys, none of them ever asked me to marry them. So why would they go off and marry someone just like me instead of asking me to marry them? I did ask one of them 'why', and they answered 'you did not show me that you were interested in getting married or moving on into the next stage. You seemed satisfied and content to just date. you never ever brought up marriage............Oh boy, I dont know what I should think. Why do guys send so many mixed signals.
2007-02-24 10:58:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't sound like mixed signals, but lack of communication. You didn't talk about marriage/future and they didn't talk about marriage/future so the relationship ended because at least one party wanted a future but neither voiced it.
However, flip that around and how many stories do you hear about a couple dating, one mentions marriage/future and the other runs for the hills? Sounds like you're darned if ya do and darned if ya don't.
Best bet is to feel the other person out (metaphorically) early on and discover what they are open for. Are they open for marriage some day, if they meet someone they connect with, or do they see nothing but dating or casual fun in their future for an undetermined amount of time.
Also, the issue with your exes may be that they did marry women that were much like you, because you had characteristics they really liked, but the "chemistry" wasn't there the way they wanted for a long term partner. You can love someone, or love qualities about them, but realize they aren't a good match or aren't long-term potential.
Hang in there...it'll happen for ya...
2007-02-24 11:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-08 02:55:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was the answer you got, then re-evaluate your approach to the guys. You don't have to jump out there and ask them to marry you though. You may come across as pretty independent, this gives the impression that you would rather not get married. It doesn't mean you have to give up your style, just make it known at some point...maybe the third or fourth date that you wondered how being married someday would change your life. Bring it up as a discussion and be open minded, not forceful. You could even ask him about it. If the guy jumps back and gives you a funny look, maybe he doesn't think of you as the marrying type. Good luck. Tough question.
2007-02-24 11:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by Randy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a lame excuse he gave for not pursuing you.~~
Men and women both can be hard to figure out. Puzzling !!!
I can tell you that when my oldest daughter first went away to be a United Air Lines Stewardess, she was all up tight cause she could not meet a nice fellow. She decided,"To heck with it and she put her energies elsewhere. She volunteered at the hospital and started a hobby, got a little pet and with work she was busy.
I was so proud of her when she called and said "Mother, all I had to do was get my mind off of them and now it seems the guys are coming out of the woodwork.~~~Maybe you need to do that too~~Anyway she is retired from United today and happily married.We have laughed many times at the things she called home about concerning men. Mother & Daughter sharing is great.
Your Mr. Right will come, in the meantime take inventory of yourself. You may want to polish up or change a few things about yourself. Remember to be keep smile on your face, they are so contagious and a great way to meet another nice smile.
Good luck to you and happy hunting grounds~~~~~Jill
2007-02-24 11:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry you are kind of a fool...... and are committing the biggest sin of all...... why do you want to hurt so many people... find yourself someone not married ... that is the first question I ask. do you have a girlfriend? Are you seeing anyone? Are you married? If yes.... bye bye..... why in the world would you allow yourself to be abused like that. Why would you want to hurt others? Get Real..... and just stop it..... never ever go out with someone who has a girlfriend, significant other or married and you know the answer...... you will get no pity from anyone. maybe you feel unworthy well each time to go out with someone already taken you will feel worse, if they do leave theirs for you, they will cheat on you, too........ you should think that you are being a terrible person and are hurting many people..... and turn your life around.
2007-02-24 11:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by nmilover 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can say this - since high school, there has never been I girl I dated that did NOT bring up getting married. So, I think the fact you never talked about it was probably a signal they read pretty clearly - its similar to wanting kids, if a girl doesn't talk about it ever, its a good bet they don't want them. Usually the guy is either overwhelmed at the talk of marriage and probably bolts, or thinks to himself - this is the time, this is the one, so I'll go for it.
Sorry, you gotta tell guys - they can't think for themselves.
2007-02-24 11:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by T D 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NMILOVER RE-READ THE QUESTION LUVVIE????
anyway - back to my answer - do you want to get married - or are you happier committing to living with a guy but not the marriage ( that was a swearword in my book and then i did - its ok) .....men see things straight down the line....black and white no inbetween - women see things in all detail....and so wires get crossed and we send out signals that we dont mean...argghh....... You'll meet a guy who suddenly will make you feel like he is the one and you will DEFINATELY give out those signals of commitment and babies - but really enjoy your life now - and get everything you want to do done now go for it girly
2007-02-24 11:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Married
2007-02-24 10:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by Twister 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well their you go. I think you just answered your own question. They didnt seem to think that you were interested in getting married. My suggestion to you would be in the future ask your BF what his feelings are about marriage. Unless of course you're not interested in that with him. Good Luck!
2007-02-24 11:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by Smarty Pants™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, is it your goal to get married? If not, then don't worry about it. If you think you'd like to, then maybe it's just that you haven't met the right person. I mean if you had met the right guy, don't you think you would have shown more interest?
If you were interested and they never got that message, maybe you need to work on being more verbal in your communication methods.
Don't sweat it.
2007-02-24 11:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋