I have been persona non grata for MONTHS, but recently she asked to see me and we exchanged I love yous - but no resolution on issues.
2007-02-24 10:38:16 · 13 answers · asked by iamofnote 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you're not asked, try to gently ask if you could give a reading. Try and bear in mind that you are all saying goodbye and who does what becomes secondary to the whole ceremony. Thinking of you all in your time of sorrow.
2007-02-24 10:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say if your sister has husband, partner, children. This could make all the different as although a brother is close if she knew as it sounds she was terminally ill she may have already discussed this with her immediate family. If nothing is mentioned you could offer to do a eulogy but I don't think you should take offence if the closest people to your sister don't want you to. If it is a situation like when it is just you or your parents who have to organise a funeral then obviously the matter could be brought up not quite so delicately. You do have to remember that a parent may wish to do this who I think would have prior right than you. If it was another brother or sister don't particularly think it should go by age but by the sibling closest to her.Sorry to learn you have this in front of you
2007-02-24 18:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't push the issue if you are not asked to give a eulogy. It may be very awkward for the family. Save your thoughts for a day when you & you alone visit her gravesite. Then you can speak to your sister then. I'm glad things couldn't be resolved between your sister & you but exchanging "I Loves You's" are all that matter now. Try to see your sister as often as you can before her passing. You need not say a thing, just hold her hand & smile.
2007-02-24 18:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she married? If so, her husband should be able to choose who does the eulogy. If she's not married but has adult kids, they decide. If she's a minor, your parents decide. If she's an adult but not married, whoever she named as personal representative in her Will decides.
When my father died 14 months ago, my brother appointed himself as the person to do the eulogy and I accpeted that my role was to sit next to Mom and help give her strength. Getting into a power struggle with my brother was not going to do Mom or anyone else any good. So if you're asked, fine, do it but if you're not asked then don't make an issue of it.
2007-02-24 19:02:58 · answer #4 · answered by Rowena's Tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel the need to give a eulogy then by all means speak with the pastor, priest or other who runs the service and ask them if you could fit one in. So get one ready. Sorry for your loss. Give it a try you have nothing to loose. I have given a few and it helped me get through the tough time.
2007-02-24 18:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really unclear with whom it is that you have been out of favour with for MONTHS. But if it is your sister with whom you have unfinished business and you want to say something about at the funeral, then I think you have every right to want to say some-thing, as long as it doesn't get out of hand (for want of a better term).
I'm sorry that you have found yourself in the state you are and hope that you can come to terms with these things.
Good luck with it all.
Sash.
2007-02-24 21:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Why make a public display?
Your memories will be with you forever and you laid your grievances to rest even if you didnt resolve them.
She will hear your thoughts whether you give a eulogy or not.
2007-02-25 12:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss....the funeral is mostly for the mourners...what do you think they would like? I spoke at my Dad's funeral, but I had to get my other sisters involved and we did it almost like a little 'skit'.....but then at the time there were no hard feelings.....the question for us was, could we do it without breaking down, and we did!
2007-02-24 19:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your family to reconsider there decision but dont let it turn in to an argument your sister contacted you and you meet and you got to tell each other that you still loved each other i would say that it was a silent resolution in itself between you both
2007-02-24 19:51:19 · answer #9 · answered by jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say just let it be, why make more issues. Save your thoughts and give them to her privately, visit her graveside and tell her then.
2007-02-24 18:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋