Was I wrong?

Question

Okay, so the other day, I dropped my son off at his dad's house. (we are seperated) When I got there, the girl that he had cheated on me with was there. I was pretty angry. I don't want a woman like that around my son. (they aren't dating, just sleep together occasionally) He thought that I was overreacting, but it is painful enough that he cheated on me, but then, to let this woman meet my son? I feel like he doesn't respect me, because why else would he put me in that situation? We share 50-50 custody, so I see him everyday, so I can't really just avoid the situation. Besides, I don't ever want that woman around my son again. Just to be clear, it's fine with me if he dates, but I would like it to be someone that can show me some respect. Someone that actually has morals. (this girl knew that we were still together when she slept with him) Is it wrong of me to feel this way? Am I overreacting, or would you feel the same way?

okay, i do not want the father back, and i have been dating, we have been seperated for over a year, with no chance of becoming involved again. When we first seperated, we discussed this, and agreed that no boy/girl friends would meet our son, unless it was a serious relationship. I have kept up my end of the bargain, but he has not. I have had alot of issues with him regarding dating, and i am not sure how to handle it. I talk to him, everytime, something happens, so he knows how i feel. but my son is my life, and i will not allow him to be around a woman like that. I have told his dad that if he can't start respecting me (i respect him) then i will have to seek a more permanant custody agreement. (we just deal with it ourselves right now) I want my son to grow up with good influences in his life, and not white trash women that think it is okay, to sleep with someone that is in a relationship, with children involved.

my son is three, and gets attached to people very easily

i believe that he was in the wrong just as much as she was. i am not blaming all of this situation on her, but she isn't my sons dad, so i don't have to deal with her everyday (at least i shouldn't have to)

Answer 1

As a woman, I understand where you are coming from. I don't know how old your son is, but his dad does need to consider the best for the child, not for himself. I request that if you and he are willing to, please sit down with your son's dad, and have a nice conversation with him. (Like over a cup of coffee). While talking, please let him know how you feel-you don't mind his dating someone else-however, for your son's best interest at heart, could he please agree that he keep that part of his life from your son, at least for now. And, that you in turn, would do the same. And, also let him know, in a civil way, that you may have been "overreacting" the other day, but that your concern is for your son, and that knowing this was the woman that caused the break up of your marriage, it hurt to see her there with him, and with your son there too. I wish the best for you and your son. Take care.

Answer 2

It is not wrong to feel hurt, betrayed and angry - but these feeling are of no benefit to the situation, yourself or your son. It really is no business of your whom your ex dates or sleeps with, and unless his new lady is treating your son disrespectfully, there is no reson to hold a grudge and believe she has no morals. Does your husband have no morals for sleeping with her? Does that mean that, based on your agreument, that your son should not spend time with either of them....because they hurt you?
What they did was wrong, but it was for the best. You are no longer with a man whom is unfaithful and his new woman will find this out soon enough. You need to keep your negative feelings about your ex's date to yourself because the negativity will rub off your on your son and in time this will taint his feelings towards one or both of his parents, and nobody wants that.
What is done is done, and while you hurt and feel betrayed, you must keep an even keel and not let your feelings destroy the relationships involved. All of them.

Answer 3

in a way right and in a way wrong in my opinion. The woman may have little to no morals in the way of not breaking up a marriage but that doesnt necessarily mean that she will be a bad influence on your son. Your sons age would help a lot by the way. Also if you want to ask that she not be around do NOT make a scene infront of the boy, it does nothing but make YOU look bad. I would ask that anyone who's going to teach my child bad morals not be around them but you don't know much about this woman. Is she polite to you infront of your son? is she kind to your son? this is what matters - really. What happened to you is horrid, but being around her isn't detrimental to your son. As long as she currently sets good examples for him, as do you and your exhusband.

my mother cheated on my father, i was around her new boyfriend after they separated. My boyfriends father cheated on his mother and knew the woman while his parents were married. My mothers boyfriend was nothing but polite and kind and i actually like him and he's done nice things for me though he hurt my father (him and my mom were in a semi-relationship before he knew about my dad) my boyfriends now wife he does NOT like because she was rude, made comments about his mother ect..

Let your son make his opinion.

Answer 4

It's possible that you don't know the whole story about what happened between that woman and your husband. It's possible your husband told her that you and him didn't have any relationship to speak of. And that's why she had sex with him even when the two of you were still together.

Men often will say anything a woman wants to hear just to get inside her pants. And she may not be as bad as you think she is. At most, she is not any worse than your ex-husband is. Your husband was a willing participant in what happened. And he may have even initiated the whole thing with that woman, while he was still married to you.

Answer 5

I don't think you are wrong in not wanting her around your son. She hurt you badly, and you don't want her affecting your son's relationship with you. There is probably nothing you can do about it, other than speaking to your ex and hope he understands where you are coming from. But it is okay to be angry about her being there, and not only okay but perfectly normal, any woman would feel the same way you do.

Answer 6

Is it wrong for you to think this way? Absolutely not. You are entitled to your anger considering that this man betrayed you.

Are you within your rights to forbid this woman from seeing your son? I'm afraid not, unless this woman is a danger to your child. Your ex is still your son's father and he may associate with whom he chooses

Answer 7

NO it's not wrong i know how your feel you just want to go in there and slap and kick and punch her but you cant... just show a brave face and show your independents...Hell start dating too and see how he feels with your son around your new love

Answer 8

If you could control who he dates, you would be with him.

You are overreacting, he disrespected you first by cheating on you, don't let him off the hook by being pissed at the girl.

Answer 9

NO, it is not wrong of you to feel this way. I completely agree that your son should not be around her.

Answer 10

no you are not over reacting at all in my opinion. he was your husband and you have the right to not have to see that. check into your states laws. in georgia i know it's illegal to have sex with someone other then your spouse in the same house your children are in. thats providing that he's doing it while your child is there.