Ladies and Moms! What do you think of HIM??? Advice Please!!!?

Question

OK i met this guy in college.I'm sorta starting to get into him.He's very much into me.This I know b/c of what he tells people about me.The only thing is, I don't know whether to pursue a serious relationship.In my heart, I want to, but I know my family will disapprove of his appearance,his personality, or his habits. Anything about him really.He's about 5'5 and weighs about 125. He's very pale and always wears really big, baggy sweatshirts, and pants.He has long stringy black hair, tattoos, and a tounge ring.He's from Chicago, both parents are lawers, and he really flaunts his parents' money and the things (expensive clothes, flashy cars,etc.) that he buys with it.He also smokes and drinks extensively. Ladies, what would you say to your friend if she was dating someone like this, and moms, what would u think if your daughters came home with him on their arms?I appreciate any comments/advice.I want advice from either angle, as a parent or a peer, even if it is negative advice.Thanks

Answer 1

he seems like an unattractive loser who is very insecure about himself and thus boasts about his financial staus to everyone so that he can make himself feel better.

You probably are attracted to him because of the fact that he is such a rebel; trust me he is nothing special there are plenty of men out there that try to convey this to women and in the end they always turn out to be uncommited jerks who could care less about you as a person and are only interested in some action. Don't fall for him just because he pays a little bit of attention to you, this is not the way to go.

You two seem to have barely anything in common. You yourself don't even trust this guy, you don't find him attractive and you think that his grooming habits are disgusting and that his partying habits are too excessive. DONT THINK THAT YOU CAN EVER CHANGE HIM! This is who he is and you can either accept all or none or else!

Bringing this guy home screams a message about you and that message is: you are so insecure that you would lower yourself down to date a big loser. Please be confident and believe in yourself, give yourself time to find someone more deserving of you - someone who you can be proud to bring home to mama!

Answer 2

I think the fact that you identify these things as negatives to "mainstream" opinions indicates that you have a problem with his opinions and appearance. Do you really like him? It would have been helpful if you listed those attributes that attract you. Does he listen to you - treat you well - consider your feelings? - Then it doesn't matter what other people think if you are attracted to him and he treats you the way you want to be treated then you don't worry about other people's reactions.
However, if you have some weird masochistic streak which means that on top of the above description which implies you don't find him attractive you actually aren't made happy by this man then you need to see a counsellor. Or someone - good luck.

Answer 3

Cons
1) Drinking (always a SERIOUS heads-up)
2) Smoking: If you mention it, neither they nor you probably approve
3) Dependantly wealthy: My uncle married money. Money gives kids a terrible sense of entitlement and no idea about the actual worth of things
4) He doesn't sound attractive at all. If your parents are anything like mine, they want a nice, handsome 6' guy with good manners and a good job> Not that theres anything wrong with have a tongue ring or being short, but it won't look good especially when combined with the other three

Answer 4

the guy seems like as soon as mommy and daddy cut him off he's going to fall on his face. Tattoos and such i see no problem hell my man has sleeves but the rest No thank you. Any man you flashes his mommies money isn't worth a blink of an eye. What does HE have to show? the drinking and smoking is kind of common for his age and is a personal preferance for you, the look is something that parents would get over eventually but the boys attitude with money and his parents possessions is ridiculous.
Not worth your time.

Answer 5

As a mother and a grandmother, I don't care what this young man looks like. I want to know about his character. Is he honest, kind, loving and trustworthy? He sounds a little immature and he sounds like he is currently rebelling against his parents' lifestyle. Do you think you can help him get through this and mature a bit? The smoking and drinking bother me because he could get himself in trouble if he drinks and drives or does drugs. But, if he's just sowing his oats and you think you can settle him down, then I wouldn't mind you dating him. Do you have high standards for yourself? I hope so. Let this young man know it and, if he really is into you, he will comply with your wishes. You will know if you need to dump him after a bit. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, honey.

Answer 6

ok well his style's kinda freaky so that's the part where u should actually look beyond his looks and into his heart. if he treats u sweetly and well then u could think about giving him a chance. even though he has tatoos, a tounge ring, smokes, and drinks, he could be really nice to u and treat u with respect. he could be a nice and sweet guy, even if he has made those choices. but don't expect him to be a good dad with a good job. just follow ur heart and do what u think is right. afterall, it is ur future.

Answer 7

I would tell you that you could do MUCH better. I come from a lawyer family who has many prominent friends. Lots of their kids had/have loads of money, but they never grew up. The way I read him (and I realize I'm limited only by your description of him) is that he may have a Napoleon complex due to his stature and that he wants to appear to be nothing like Mommy and Daddy, but he is still tied to them financially and possibly emotionally too. He sounds very immature to me. If you want to hang out with him just for the fun of it, fine, but I wouldn't let it go any further than that.

Answer 8

First of all, it matters how it feels to YOU before what other people think. If you feel he is a good person and he treats you well, then it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. A mom might not want her daughter with a guy with tatoos but in the end its about how he treats you and how comfortable you two are together.

Answer 9

I am a mom of a 24 year old daughter and no I would not want her dating this guy not so much about his looks but you said he smokes and drinks extensively and he flaunts his parents money instead of taking care of his self

Answer 10

Honestly, I'll be negative about it.

Personally i'm not attracted to short guys,
much more if they are shorty and fatty.
Tattoes and /or piercing turns me off straightaway.
Smoking is one thing I can't stand ,
Drinking on occasion is fine with me
(although i never have drink)

As you describe of him, there's nothing about him.
He's a problem child, with no respect for his
parents reputation. He still in his bottle .

The only thing he's got is good parents.

Wait for a better one, he's on the way..

BIIIIIIIIIIIIG FAAAAAAT LOSER
.