Don't want my daughter to tell grandma 'family information'.. is this ok?

Question

my mom uses stuff against me and so I tell my seven year old 'that is family information, not for grandma'. My kid can be way to open with everyone and needs to learn about 'family info verses public info'... but with grandam it is more confusing, because she is family

Answer 1

The notion that u hv to change ur lifestyle or live a totally open life is ridiculous! We all hv the rt to privacy and to be completely at ease in our own homes. Try not to use the phrase: "Don't tell Grandma." Instead say "Don't tell anyone outside of our house." If ur mom lives with u, then explain what immediate or nuclear family means. U could also use the "we don't gossip" path. In essence that is what she is doing, regardless of who she tells things to. Specifying grandma, may make ur daughter defensive about her or rebellious against u.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I feel you have every right to tell your children that what happens in your house should stay in your house as long as its not abuse or illegal
i had a sister who used to do the same thing with my kids then run to the rest of the family and talk about me and my home you have a right to privacy in your life
i think you need to tell your kids that when someone asks about mommy or daddy they should say (if you wanna know about mommy go ask her )

Answer 3

No, I do not think it's right to ask your child (grade schooler) to not tell Grandma certain things. Your child is not old enough to know or be able to tell the difference between what Grandma should know or not know. YOU are a big wimp, you'd rather confuse the heck out of your child than stand your ground with your own Mom. When your Mom brings up stuff 'against' you then tell her to knock it off, tell her it's none of her business, tell her it's not open for discussion. SIMPLE....but to pawn this off on your grade school aged child is just not fair to your child. Get a backbone woman!

Answer 4

My 8yr old does the same thing. Tells my mom stuff and then I get a talkin to. Hello, I'm 30. I guess that's just how moms are. Anyway, it is something you will have to work on with your child. It takes alot of time. You have to remember that kids that age really don't have any kind of discretionary skills. My son has none at all. Keep working on it and maybe limit how much alone time he has so you can watch what he's saying.

Answer 5

If your mom lives with u she is part of the family but if she ins't what is said in the house stays in the house

Answer 6

Does grandma live with you? If not, then what is said, done in this house/stays with our family that lives in this house.

Answer 7

it perfectly fine. if something is going on in our family, i tell my kids it's private and not for public knowledge. it stays in the house. that goes for grandparents,aunts and uncles.i don't have to tell them that, they just know.i may do it for different reasons than you but it means the same thing. private is private.

Answer 8

im a grand parent, but i have never asked one of my grandchildren something that is her familys buisness, its like putting them on the spot so i choose not to ask.

Answer 9

7 year olds talk. If you don't want them to pass on what you say or what happens, don't talk in front of kids.

Answer 10

I don't know if you are asking this question again because no one agreed with you the first time, but I will tell you again:

Either you need to change your lifestyle so you don't have to lie about it... or you need to break off contact with your mother.