How do i break up with the love of my life?

Question

I love my boyfriend, more than anything. but when he drinks, and im not around, i think he cheats on me. he was at a party last week and said something might have happened, but he doesn't remember because he was "too drunk." i cant be with him anymore. i know something happened, and really, deep down i know its happened before. i'm just so scared of being alone. of living alone. of not being strong enough to hold my ground. he will beg. but it will happen again. what do i do? what do i say? and then how do i move on?

Answer 1

You have to break it off completely. Don't say you'll still be friends, don't talk to him after you've broken up. This guy is in a pattern that will never break, especially if he knows that you will always be there. If he is drinking so much, it may even turn into more serious problems down the road that you absolutely will want no part of!

If you find that it's hard to do it, have a couple close friends nearby. I'm not saying they should be there, but they should be ready to come get you. They will be your reinforcement and reminder that you are doing what you need to do.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, and the best way to move on is with the help of your friends.

Don't be afraid to be alone. I was really scared at first because I have always had a boyfriend, and had never lived alone. Now that it has been a few months, I feel like I have grown in ways that I couldn't have while I was with someone. It makes you stronger and more independent. Most of all, you really learn about who you are as an individual.

You should never need a guy to feel complete, you should be a complete person by yourself.

Answer 2

Tell him that 'I think something mighta sorta have happened, but I was TOO DRUNK' doesn't work.

If you love him, then tell him so. Let him know how he's hurt you, that he needs to get help for his drinking and habits.

Ask him if he's cheated on you in the past (a time that he CAN remember), see what he says. If you know that he's cheated on you, and he says 'no' then tell him that you know he has and ask why he feels compelled to do this and lie to your face.

If you think you can take it, give him one more shot (if he doesn't lie to you about cheating), and let him know that this is the last straw. Tell him he has to get help, that he has to be honest with you, and that he has to give up drinking. If he refuses, walk out.

It's not healthy to keep emotions in, so have a good cry. Allow yourself a set time to mourn your losses (not EVERY day, but for a few days after the break up). Set an alarm or timer if needed to keep track of the time. After the alarm goes off, wash your face, and go out. It doesn't matter where, but just around other people, strangers even, where you might think about him, but you won't cry.

Once you think about him and don't cry, you know that you're moving, slowly, past it. Now try to do it alone. Go to your room, and think about him, everything about him. How you love(d) him, how he hurt you. When you are no longer angry thinking about this, you're through. Over him.

Start going out with guys just as soon as you're ready and over him; No one likes to be rebound.



Just remember that you may not even be the reason why he cheats and drinks. If a man's gonna cheat, a man's gonna cheat. It doesn't matter how smart or beautiful or talented the woman waiting at home is. The drinking is because he probably feels sorry for what he's putting you through, but doesn't want to deal with it himself. Drinking gives him an excuse.

Answer 3

Remember you are strong and confident. Stand your ground. You need to let him know how you feel and make sure that you have friends that will be around when you finish with him. Being alone will only make you wonder if you did the right thing. You are doing the right thing. Dont wait around waiting for him to change because until he stops with the alcohol he will never change. You need to affirm yourself that you are a wonderful person who CAN and WILL move on and start again. It will be tough but you can do it. Surround yourself with those that care and love you. Be around people that will make you laugh, smile, and start again. Most important do not let yourself fall victim again.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear. Get yourself alone and really think about what you're going to say. It should be short and to the point, leaving no option of him to add to it or change it. When you know what you want to say, for ex. ".......,I have found myself not liking us anymore. I will leave and get on with my life. I wish you well." That's it. Make sure you are not alone with him, or better yet, tell him over the phone or in a letter if you feel it's safer and you won't back down. Then simply keep this goal in front of you and don't look back or you'll end up in the same situation over and over again, always regretting and eventually being dropped by him or getting resentful and angry toward him. YOu have the choice to change your life. If you believe in God, ask HIm to help you and He will. Best wishes.

Answer 5

ask yourself one simple question can you live with this guy the way he is remember people rarely if ever change so if you cant live with him the way he is just be upfront and honest and tell him you've had enough and its time for both of you to move on with your life. hold your ground you'll be greatful that you did in the future. I'm not saying its an easy thing to do but sounds like you dont have a choice now do u.

Answer 6

Don't let the fear of living alone stop you from being treated like a decent human being. If you think that something happened then you are probably correct. Women have this idea that we are just fooling ourselves into thinking the worst and want the guy that we love to be Mr. Perfect.

I hate to say it but you need to dump him and get some self respect and love yourself and then you will be ready to start another relationship but don't do it until then.

Answer 7

you thought he was the love of your life, but think again. tell him straight up how you feel, yell at him if you have to, if he loves you so much he would do anythin to make you happy, and if he decides that drinkin and flirtin or whatever is more important than you, break it down! Nobody needs to take that! No matter how much you love this guy or how long you've been with him, somethin's gotta be done or he's just gonna keep on hurtin you. If you think bout it, this happens around the world all the time, break ups, divorces. You ain't the only one

Answer 8

It would be very hard for you to break up with him Because you love him so much. But if his doing wrong, Its the ONLY thing you can do. You have friends and family, Dont be scared to be alone your never alone in this world, unless you want to be! Over time you will feel better about it. If he loves you back, he will try to change, and there could be a chance for you too in the future.. "if you love something let it go, If its meant to be it'll come back" GOODLUCK!

Answer 9

Being alone can be scary. But being alone, gives you time to discover yourself. People change and grow over time. Maybe you will realize that you have changed too, but have been to busy trying to please your bf to take time to notice yourself. Do you love your like yourself? Is your bf worth compromising yourself? You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. Plus, he was "too drunk" to remember if anything happened! Puh-leaze!!! Tell him to grow up and go play games with someone else. He is trying to avoid the obvious. If he loved you as much as he says he does or claims too, then nobody would be worth the risk of losing you. Also, when you are not with him, you are going to be constantly thinking about what is he doing and if you can not get ahold of him, then your mind is going to wonder and then you will think the worst. Is he cheating on me again? It's not worth it. It will be hard to stand your ground, but you have too. You can do it. Make a clean break. It is a big world out there with alot more opportunities. Do not settle for less. You deserve the best. Tell yourself that. Your bf isn't going too. I've dated a**holes like him. Now, I found my prince charming that treats me like a queen. You will find yours too. Everytime he begs, ignore him. When you feel like your going to cave, just remember how u feel when you think of his dishonest ways. Stay true to your heart and yourself. Don't give up on the good guys. They do exist.

Answer 10

Tell him exactly how you are feeling. Communication is so important. Let him know that you don't like it when he gets drunk because he can do ANYTHING... and he doesn't even remember the things that he does.

I told my boyfriend how I felt about him getting drunk. I don't want him to because he may end up doing something really stupid. He promised me he wouldn't.

If he really loves you, he will listen to you and consider your feelings and see it from your perspective and he will do something about it. If he doesn't change, that is HIS loss.

God will bring you someone who truly deserves you. He has a plan for you. Just have faith in Him. Ask Him to help you and to guide you in the right direction.