depression!!?

Question

Im in such a bout of depression yet again, I was fine for a little while but now im low very low i dont know what to do... i know why im depressed which is good, and please dont judge im sorry for being so stupid cos there is so much worse things !!! But im depressed over a guy and its just because he led me on and was like i thin k your beautiful and im falling for you and then i havent heard from him since !!! it actually hurts so much i cant really pay attention to anything and the world seems dark !!! i was on the bus today and I realised the world is a bright place im just not part of it, please help i really want this guy and i dont know what to do , dont be mean 2 me im not in a good place right know !!any advice ??Xxx

Answer 1

Here's a new study that might shead some light on your situation.

Teenage girls encounter more "stressors" in life, especially in their interpersonal relationships, than boys -- and they react more strongly to those pressures, accounting in part for their higher levels of depression, the study suggests.

"Girls are getting a double hit," says Benjamin L. Hankin, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina, Columbia, one of the study's researchers.

"They are experiencing more interpersonal stress, and when they experience more of the stress, they exhibit more depressive symptoms than boys do," he says.

For years, Hankin says, experts have known that by midpuberty -- age 13, or so -- more girls than boys experience depression.

But they have not been able to pinpoint why.

Other research has found that teenage girls report more stressors in life than do teenage boys, but researchers have disagreed on whether the girls react more strongly to stressors and become more depressed, Hankin says.

The Study
Hankins' study looked at 538 eighth and 10th-grade students, aged 13 to 18 (average age: 14.9), from 18 Chicago-area schools.

The students were asked to record their "worst event" of the day in their diaries every day for a week, at three different time points -- the study launch, and six and 12 months later.

The diary method is considered superior to research that asks students to recall stressors from the past, Hankin says; it tends to be more accurate.

Besides describing this "worst event," students said what made it so bad, and what they did in response.

"Worst events" included getting kicked out of school, failing a quiz, arguing with a parent, getting mad at a girlfriend or boyfriend, and other problems.

The researchers later evaluated how stressful the events were and classified them as interpersonal (involving interaction between the teen and another person -- such as family, peer, or romantic partner) or achievement (involving academics or athletic performance).

Hankin's team also looked at the boys' and girls' depressive symptoms and their self-reported use of alcohol.

Interpersonal Stressors vs. Achievement Stressors
The girls reported more interpersonal stressors, while the boys had more achievement stressors.

"In an average week, the girls experienced twice as many interpersonal stressors as the boys did," Hankin says.

While the boys averaged 0.50 interpersonal stressors a week, the girls averaged one -- about twice as many.

However, the boys experienced 0.24 achievement stressors each week, while the girls reported just 0.16.

The girls were more adversely affected, too, Hankin found. For the same stressor, the girls reacted with more depression than the boys, Hankin says.

Looking at interpersonal stressors alone and the teens' reactions to them "explains 30% of why the girls are more depressed than the boys," Hankin says.

Genders respond in different ways to stress, the study also found.

"If there is a romantic fight between a boy and a girl, on average, a girl will respond with more depression," Hankin says. "A boy will go distract himself," Hankin says, perhaps playing basketball or doing some other activity.

No gender differences were found in the use of alcohol in response to stress.

Another Expert Weighs In
The study sheds light on some of the pathways that lead girls to become more depressed, says Karen D. Rudolph, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, who has researched the same topic.

It shows that "girls are experiencing more stress in their lives and react more strongly," she says.

Take-Home Messages
For parents of girls and boys entering puberty, Hankin has this advice: "Pay attention to what your child is experiencing at home and with relationships. Be available and supportive emotionally for your child."

Be aware, Rudolph adds, that "when things go wrong, girls may be interpreting it in a catastrophic way."

For example, an argument with a friend may be viewed as the end of a friendship. But parents can step in and suggest how to heal the relationship, she says.

Hankin's study is published in the January-February issue of Child Development.

He did the work while at the University of Illinois at Chicago with his University of Illinois co-researchers, Robin Mermelstein, PhD, and Linda Roesch, MA.

Answer 2

Honey...

If the guy is a jerk, then why do you want him anyways? I know it's hard when you are younger, but as you get older and go through more you start to realize that it's not worth you getting so upset over. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl, what you have to do is believe that! Treat yourself good, tell yourself that you deserve to be happy. I wasted a lot of time on relationships with guys until I got older and figured out that it wasn't worth it anyways. Us women tend to be more insecure than men. Do you ever see the guys getting upset over girls? Not too often. Just take a look in the mirror, or write some things about yourself down that you love and embrace it. Like if you have cute dimples, or if you love palm trees, all those diff little things are what makes you you. Love yourself for who you are, and there will be a guy, a good guy, who will love you for who you are too. Life is too short to be missing out on the good things and to not be a part of this bright place!

Answer 3

Hey there, I'm guy that has dealt with the same thing over a girl. I know it can be very difficult.

What you have to do is keep your mind preoccupied on other things you enjoy doing. No matter how much you feel like just lying around being depressed, MAKE yourself get out, hang out with friends, watch movies, read books, spend time on the internet, and talk to people. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, and EVENTUALLY the pain will slowly subside.

Whatever you do, don't give into the depression. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 4

Its not a stupid reason to be depressed. Life in all its parts cause joy and pain. Its how you get through one to get to the other, so to speak. Have you tried writing in a journal? Talking to someone? Or even seen a doctor? I can guarantee that you will get through this. I'm 25 years old and just read one of my old journals from when I was 16 and was in almost the same exact boat that your in now. Life constantly changes. And as cheesy as it maybe, I truly believe like the song says, "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". If things would have worked out with the different guys that hurt me then I wouldn't be with my fiance` now. And I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. Find your strength and don't let anyone break you. They aren't worth it! You and who you are, is priceless!

Answer 5

You have given this guy the power to define you. Since he just dropped you like a hot potato, you feel like dropping yourself too! Either that or you want him back so you can feel good about yourself, again. Let him go by taking back your power. You gave it to him and walked away with it. As soon as you make a decision to take it back, you will have yourself back.

By telling you that you were beautiful and he was falling for you could have been true, but if he's emotionally immature, he can't follow through. Don't blame yourself for that. The sooner you can let him go, and stop allowing him to cloud your thinking, the brighter your world will be again! He doesn't deserve YOU!

Answer 6

I can relate to you I know how hard depression is
I myself am a depression sufferer u are a part of this world
u can help your depression by journaling your feelings
a man who leads u on is not worth your time and I think u should
find a hobbie to keep your mind occupied. and now is the time also for self discovery
if u need a friend i would be glad to be your friend
please feel free to email me @[e-mail]
good luck

Michelle

Answer 7

First off, I'm really sorry that you're depressed. This may be hard, but i think it would be best to forget the guy, and move on. As long as you're liking him, and he doesn't like you, you're only going to hurt. You should talk to a close friend about how you feel, and pray about it, cause God will help you heal if you believe, and if you can't be around the guy without feeling really sad, you should try to avoid him. I know doing this will be really hard, but I know you'll move on in time. I hope you feel better!

Answer 8

been there done that.i bet you go to bed thinking him and wake up thinking about him.there are also dreams to.yes it hurts.sweetheart i,am sure your young and pretty.i,am 56 and hapen to me.i don,t want to be mean to anyone yes i,am sure he told your beautiful and falling for you.that way he get you in to bed with him.just think out of sight out of mind.get up please.the next time see him tell to get lost.boy when hears that.your phone will be ringing.let it all out give him hell.believe me you will better.tell him you forgive him but he won,t hurt you again.bam!! you got the ball now get up and run with it.yes you are in the bright side.get up and put your self together.there someone out there just waiting for you and you will think boy how did ever fall for that line.baby you are in a good place give to god.he will he will take of it.you can pray for any thing.but not for him your to good for him.believe me i treated this man like a king.then i found out he was see some for seven year while we where together.boy what bomb shell.yes i try to get at himbut it just made him mad.better him to be mad than me.give a while the will go away.yes i still think about him and i would love to ring his neck.but he,s not worth it.do you have understanding family talk to them.if not please talk to a dr.this a pothole in the that you just hit they will fix it .look while your driving if you see another pot hole go around it.i could never mean to .it take time and i,am you have lot a time . get out and try to have a good time mister right is out there but your not going find if you stay in the dark.open your eye.s the world bright and wating for you.you know you want this guy because you can,t have him.think about this if had him for a while you might even like him.i could go on for ever.if you hear from him again blast him good.it will make you feel so good .ask him about your beauty and falling for you.look him right in his eyes then walk away it will hurt.but later on you will feel so good about your self.hit be low the belt.hang in there baby you got someone on you side better than him god!!! .my email is ky tuck [e-mail] if you want to talk i,am here for you . lou. ky

Answer 9

It's not stupid. Definitely start writing in a journal - often writing things down will help you put things in perspective. Try getting out with friends or doing something that you enjoy. If you continue to feel this way, talk with a doctor - he or she may be able to refer you to a counselor that can help you. You might also talk with your school counselor. Believe me - it gets better, but right now it's hard to see the forest for the trees.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was in college and I continue to struggle with it, even with medication. Writing helps, as does talking with others about your feelings. Changes are, you aren't the only one feeling this way. Talking with friends can help you and they may be able to also give you advice.

Answer 10

Well first of all let the boy know you like him to. if he says no hes over you. then get a new boyfriend. if you already had someone ask you dont be afraid of asking people because chances are that ur very pretty if someone asked you out already so. give it a shot