What are good godly ways not to be so "self absorbed?"?

Question

I am not selfish but when I go through trials and hurts I tend to take it WAY WAY to personal and to heart and I become self absorbed thinking about my pain, my hurt, my trial, and think I am the "only one" going through this.

What are good godly ways for me to "get over the self" and how can I help others in this respect.

Godly answers only please and the Lord Ricly bless you Psalm 20:4.

Answer 1

Do you have access to places that help others? Such as a soup kitchen or women and childrens shelter? I volunteer in a soup kitchen at my church and I find that I feel so much more blessed with what I have and I don't tend to think about what I don't have. Also, even joining a church prayer chain should help. I coordinate our church prayer chain and when I have one of those days when I having my own personal little pity party someone will call in a serious prayer request and I realize how unimportant my little problem is compared to what some others are going through. If your church doesn't have a prayer chain maybe you could talk to your pastor about starting one.

Answer 2

The fact that you asked this particular question shows that you are self-aware enough to realize that this is a flaw, many don't even think about this. I think you have made the first step already in admitting this. Now, start to look outwardly at maybe what others are going through and begin to learn to empathize with them. In this way you are taking the focus off of yourself and helping someone else out in return. Be to others what you would want them to be to you. The bible has some really good advice on this subject. When I first started becoming self-aware, I read the book of Proverbs. Boy, did that ever talk to me! It made me so aware of the many foolish behaviors I had! But it helped me to realize that if I wanted to do things differently, all I had to do was... to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY!!!! It really is that easy. I made the following quote my motto...."In everything you do there is a choice to make, and the choice you make...makes you...so choose wisely!" That is really so true. We have the ability to choose our response to everything in life. The freedom to respond by choice. Nothing really makes us do or feel any way that we don't allow it to. If I choose to be happy, then I have to do and behave in ways that bring true happiness. I can decide what happiness really is...lasting happiness, and then I can make an effort to do the things that get me there. Another thing I would like to mention is that throughout my life, the best things have been gained from some of the worst trials. Out of most difficulties, arise some great opportunities, it is just how you take them and what you do with them that changes it. Look at your hurts and trials as growing time, reflecting time. Learn lessons from them, see what YOU could have done differently. I have learned that you cannot change anyone but yourself, but when you begin to change yourself (even your attitudes) everything around you is affected! You have the power to be exactly as you want to be...just start being it. You want to be less self-assorbed, take "response" ability for that and quit being so self-absorbed. Choose your behavior and do what is necessary. I know you can because you admit that you need to change this. That is really the biggest step in the process...admitting that you need to change something in yourself, the rest is just leg work, so to speak. So here is a thumbs up for you!!!!!

Answer 3

Let me tell you what I've done instead of becoming self absorbed about your pain say "Praise the Lord as soon as He gets me through this pain I'm gonna be okay." "Lord, I know you are going to take this pain away, I just don't know when." "Lord, I thank you for removing this pain far from me." "Lord, I recognize this as a trial and I praise your Holy Name Jesus and I count it all joy that when I go through this I will be stronger and it will bring me closer to You.""Sometimes all you can say is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus until He comes to help."

James 5:16 .....The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Don't think one prayer will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 "Pray without ceasing." It has taken 4 months praying the same prayer and then God answered

DON'T EVER DOUBT THAT YOU WILL OVERCOME THE TRIAL. Keep your eyes on Jesus and keep in His Word, the Holy Bible. ! Thess. 5:22 "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

Watching PG13 movies calling God's name in vain everyday and you totally ignoring it does not help your prayer life. I'm not saying that you do this - this is just an example of how we miss getting prayers answered.

Answer 4

get involved in someone Else's pain/trial - intercessory prayer is a great way to accomplish this. Also get out there and volunteer at something that contributes to your Church, community, society or whatever. God bless you in your search - God will help the sincere heart.

Answer 5

I take in strays, abused animals and shelter dogs and cats. I have three of each. I buy Pedigree dog food because they donate a percentage to shelter dogs. I also gave money to the people who wanted their pets back organization. Animals give unconditional love. That will never happen in the human race.

Answer 6

Surrender completely to God...let God by the guide of your life. Offer all of life to God.

In complete surrender, there is no self. God becomes the doer in your life and all of life is done by God. In this, there are no personal hurts, trials, or anything else. There is no self to be self-absorbed.

Let God be the doer in all your actions...and all of live the result of His will.

~ Eric Putkonen

Answer 7

make an effort everyday to go out of your way to help someone in need.
It could be as simple as buying someone lunch or helping someone move.
That way your attention will not be on yourself but how you can be a blessing.
I used to volunteer with the homeless and elderly which always helped me keep things in perspective.

Answer 8

I wish I knew the answer. I hold on to grudges a long time before I let them go. I pray and that helps a lot.

Answer 9

Turn the other cheek and shirt off your back.

Answer 10

Yell "Good God!" and then get over yourself.

~Morg~