can i hate my dad??

Question

my dad went crazy.he started to attack my mom he would do this infront of my friends so i have none. he trapped me and my mom in the upstairs for 2 weeks and when we would go down stairs he would yell at us and spit in our faces.one time he chased us outside and to our car and my mom called the cops and the cops said that if we dont get away from him they were going to take me and my sisters away. after that we just left and i lived with my uncle 2 hours away from every thing. he would call us and say he would kill us and stuff so we coulnt go any were. we got a PFA (protection from abuse)and it didnt do anything. my mom tried doing anything she could and 5 months latter i still live with my uncle my om sold the house and now that is it.

Answer 1

i could deffintly understand why you would hate your dad....But it is obivous that your dad has major problems that may include drugs... The good thing is that your mom got you and your sister out of there...That is a very bad situation to be in... but most importantly you have to remeber that when you start dating you do NOt have to put up that behavior form any other man...Dont ever sell yourself short... your dad will get his day and when he does it wont be nice, remeber your better anything in world and if you beleive in yourself then you can have the best of the best good luck and you can email if you would like

Answer 2

Yes, you can hate your dad. It's not a nice thing to do but he sure doesn't sound like he's a very nice man. I believe he has some real anger issues and needs some serious help before he hurts or kills someone. Why would the cops take you and your sister away from your mom? She's a victim in all of this also. I hope you and your family stay safe from this man.

Answer 3

Of course you can, but that wont solve anything my sister was in the same situation, but it got solved i still have the same dad. Cops say they'll do something, but really it won't help especially in this situation it will make them angrier. If you don't already have a divorce get one! If you feel your dad will go balistic go to the family court, hopefully they will grant your mom custody of you. Try holding out on telling your dad, tell him may-be 1 day before you are supposed to go. When in court they may order your father to pay a portion of the money. Change your uncle's house number so he can't contact you or your uncle (he might take his anger out on him to), and cell phone numbers. If that doesn't work sell your uncle's house, (wait is that the house she sold?) buy a new one obviously. Here's what you should do, may-be just for a temporary place rent a hotel, so he doesn't know where you are.

Answer 4

Well let me ask you "Do you hate your dad"? I would. And I know its tough to feel those feelings for someone that we are supposed to love and honor. Because we are decent people we struggle with that. But I want to also remind you that your dad was supposed to love, honor and protect you and your mother. He certainly wasnt living up to his part of the bargain.

Its okay for you to feel hate for him. Its really okay. And Im sure youve cried about it because as I said, youre a decent person. When youre older you will look back on today and either change your heart about him or agree with how you feel now. I dont know what makes some continue hating and others forgive. Some things I still hate for but most, I guess because time has helped to heal the wounds dont bother me as much anymore.

You had a right to a wonderful childhood and your dad took that away. Im so very sorry. I can tell though that you are a survivor and will come out of this just fine. Please dont feel guilty about your natural and logical feelings about your dad. We've alllll hated our parents and most of us havent gone through anything near what youre going through.

If it helps, I said a little prayer for you and your mother today and I will do it often!

Good luck sweety.

Answer 5

You've been through Hell, and he was the biggest cause for it.

You can't choose your family, and unfortunaltey, sometimes you get handed a crap deal.

There are no rules that say you can't hate your father, he's obciously not a great person, and he sounds like he needs to get some serious therapy to learn to control his anger.

But, that being said, it's easier to forget about someone than to dwell on hatred.

I'm glad that you and your remaining family are safe. I would recommend having your mother get your father arrested on charged of uttering threats and physical abuse. Maybe a stint in jail will do some good.

Answer 6

My heart breaks for you. Shame on your father for doing this. It sounds like your mother is trying, but is just having a hard time. Yes, you can hate your dad. Should you? Well, that's up to you. Quite frankly, I think you are entitled to feel however you want to feel. Your father hurt you, your sisters and mother in a horrible way and he has lost any rights he had to be loved and respected by you.

Still, hatred for a parent might feel good at the time, but I think everyone needs to have some sort of good feelings and thoughts about their parents. It only causes us to hurt more when we hold onto hate - it doesn't change things. Everyone wants to think they have good parents who don't do bad and stupid things. Nobody wants to think their parent is a jerk or a loser. Still, please try to remember that no matter what your father does & no matter how he behaves, it is NOT a reflection on you or what kind of person you are. You are not a bad person just because your father isn't nice & he treats you and your family badly. How he acts has NO bearing on you as a person. Once you believe that, you will have the freedom to live your life and move on, without forming opinions about yourself based on how your father behaves.

That said, if you hate your father, you hate him. Your feelings are sure valid. If you love him, that's okay too. You will not be betraying your mother or sisters for loving someone who was mean to you all. It only means you love him, because he's your father - not because he has earned your love. Either way, your feelings are valid and you should feel free to love or hate your father as you wish. Your feelings are your own and you are entitled to them. You don't owe your father anything after what he has done. You do owe it to yourself though to live the best life you can and to be as happy as you can be despite the difficult life you have had so far. Please trust me that life WILL get better for you and your mom and sisters. It might take a little time, but it will get better. Hang in there!

Answer 7

You are certainly entitled to whatever feeling you have about your father. But you should also have some compassion for him --he is obviously mentally unstable.

I don't mean that you need to have any contact with him --- far from it --you should not go anywhere near him. But --- don't let your hatred of him and the things he has done take over your life. Do the best you can in the circumstances you find yourself and know that things will get better. Your mother is doing the best that she can.

Answer 8

Hi you have had a hard start in life why should you not hate him the way hes treated you and your mum ,dont let him ruin your life you have a new start away from him ,but as children we will probably always have a tiny bit of love for them incase they change ,hold your head up high and make new friends ,your new life is just to begin xxxxx

Answer 9

sure u can, but if u r a religous person, u know that u r suppossed to 4give ur enemies but that doesnt mean u shud put urself in danger. this is a serious situation and rally need 2 be put in2 protective custody. ur dad belongs in JAIL. good luk, just get some help from the cops, REAL HELP. infact,press charges!

Answer 10

Yes you can hate your dad. He did all those horible things. It seems like he was given many chances, so he does not need anymore. Sorry to hear about your past. But what you need to do is forget the past and focus on the future or present.