I FEEL LIKE A DOG ON A LEASH. My bf is a control freak and idk what to do, i love him.?

Question

im 17 he is 18 and we have been together for 2 years...

so the other day i bought this wicked awesome lip stuff from victoria secret...to "Plump" my lips, big deal right.? anyway it cost me $18.00 well i was using it and my b/f was like what is that,"let me see"..."PLUMPING" and he threw it out the window!...he said im perfect and he doesnt want someone fake. then the other week, i bought some self tanner, he found out and said i looked orange and i should stop because it is stupid. but i want to use it! i like it! and i thought i looked nice with it. i feel as though i am never good enough for him and i swear im trying to be the best i can for him. i just dont think what he did was right? am i wrong though? is he just doing whats best for me?

Answer 1

It is not as simple as one of you being right or wrong. I think he is angry that you would need anything but his love to make you feel beautiful. I think it is his way of trying to show you that he loves you. I would tell him that you are only doing it to pleas him. Tell him that you just want to be perfect for him and that you don't feel you are good enough for him without it. Tell him that you know it is vain but it is hard when you feel so close to him. I know that would stop me in my tracks, and really make me rethink what I was doing. Also ask him why he did it, but lead him with you questions. Like did you through it out the window because you thought that I shouldn't look too beautiful for you. I think he is insecure about keeping you and that he finds it hard to see you so beautiful and it scares him. I would if I was you I would make sure that I showed him that you are still interested in him, but will not let his insecurities hurt the relationship. Tell him that if he continues not to think that you could love him, it will drive you away. Tell him that his insecurities are making it hard to love him, and he should know! It has been 2 years, (probably the problem he is afraid of loosing something this important to him). Guys have feelings too, but emotion in guys is not frouned upon.

Answer 2

These are signs of a control freak, it's not healthy at all. You are good enough and maybe you deserve someone better. I think it's just rude throwing away your stuffs like that eventhough he might not like it. But you've been with him for 2 years, I think if he acted this way all along then I would say he's a control freak and if not something is up with him, maybe he is irritated by other things or feeling jealous (another bad sign) that you would take such effort to look pretty not just for him but for gaining attention from other guys. Just be more alert, throwing away that lip plump stick might just be the beginning before he starts to hit you when he feels he really 'owns' you and control everything in your life.

Answer 3

It seems to me that you are a very lucky girl. If these two incidents are the only ones that disturb you, you don't have to worry anymore. If he threw your expensive lip stuff or tanner JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED 'EM, it just proves how much he means it when he says he loves you for who you are.

This doesn't mean that throwing away stuff that is dear to you is right. I mean, if you really liked your lips to be plump, explain that to him. If you want to look gloriously tanned, explain that, too. Don't act oppressed. The two of you are only a year apart, so communication doesn't have to be a problem. He probably thinks that you feel you're inadequate for him, but you think he's kinda ordering you around.

Answer 4

He is immature, and probably insecure, and I feel that this will get worse in time if things don't change. Now you have a glimpse of what your marriage will be like should you decide to marry him. In my opinion, all kinds of warning bells should be going off for you. Being married to a control freak is a disaster......I've seen guys that time their wives coming back home from work, and check their mileage in their vehicle just to make sure they didn't stop and talk to someone, or go somewhere else. I can tell you this, it's better to be single and lonely, than to be married and miserable. You seriously need to think about this relationship of yours and where it's heading. I wish you the best of luck........

Answer 5

OKay you need to step up and let him treat you like that!!!! He needs to take you for who you are- and if you want to plump your lips (PS: i bought that ame stuff from Victoria's Secret and I loved it- If someone threw mine out I would be PISSED) or buy some self-tanner, you can! And if HE doesn't like it, then he can leave! Just be upfront and tell him that ure getting sick of treated this way.

Answer 6

Okay, that does sound a bit like he is controlling you. It seems like hes trying to do what he thinks is best but he should do that without controlling everything you do. I think you need to CALMLY talk to him about it. Let him say what he feels and you say what you feel. If he is your bf and he really loves you, he should talk to you about it. I'm a lot younger than you but still, this is what I think you should do. Then after you talk to each other you'll both know whats the other ones thinking about that situation. Try it. Hope it helps!

Answer 7

I'd drop that eejeet like a hot potato if I were you. Your description of him makes me think he's a kid who has not yet reached maturity. Control freak... he's an ill mannered lout ... throwing your property out the window indeed. Not only that he insulted you. I wouldn't even give him the pleasure of having a big scene .. you just walk away from him and never look back.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like he's trying to control you. Don't let him. That's not a healthy relationship. You got to stand up to him and tell him that if he does that again then you'll dump him. It is not normal for a guy to control what you wear. It's ok for him to tel you you look better without it but he shouldn't throw it out the window or even throw it away. It's your choice and not his. Don't let him control you like that.

Answer 9

this needs to stop somehow because right now its small stuff but it will turn much worse he had no right thouwing you lip plumper out the window and if you want to wear self tanner do so.
and you DO NOT need to be trying to please him or make him happy you are the only one that you should be worried about you have to be true to urself first and if those things make you happy and you want to use them thats ur right and he has no right to do that u are not his dog and you need to express this to him and if he does not understand well I think you need to think about y you are in this relationship hope this help somehow and if you need to talk email me nc_mommy_21 at yahoo.com.

Answer 10

No one has the right to control you. Either he grown up double quick and or you should drop him. Do NOT let yourself get involved with guys that control you. It can be a life long pattern if you don't break it now. He has no right to tell you what to do or not do. Get out!