kk..so we've been goin out for 4 and a half months and its the most amazing relationship ever....every1 thinks we are the cutest couple and we cant stop thinking about the future we have together...we are in our senior year at high school...In her last relationship, her "first love", she was cheated on and has yet too fully recover. Like when we were dancing the other day, she heard a song that she said was her and her ex's song, and started to cry..basically everytime shes reminded of her past, it hurts her like crazy and then shortly after she'd apologise for crying, because she says she cant control it and everything would be back to normal.....I know we love each other, but anyone have any experiences with this? PLZ helpp
2007-02-24 05:20:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well her heart is still mending so give her time and plenty of flowers to make her forget and Candy Peace
2007-02-24 05:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by walter_nahbexie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not normal, because if she loves you then the past would be nothing to her. She can leave the past behind if she ever wants to have a future. You two are young and although when you are in highschool you plan for forever you never know what the great unknowns of the real world will bring to you. There are so many things you go through after high school, like real jobs, college, moving, different people in different towns.
2007-02-24 05:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jillie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that she's really trying to heal. There will be days like that and times like that. She just needs you to be there for her and understand that she cares very much for you or she would have never gotten into a relationship so soon after all this happened.
These things take time. I've been divorced for almost 5 years now and sometimes I see something while out shopping and think, "Oh, he'd like to have that," before I remember that his new wife can get it for him. Of course, my own life is different and the circumstances are different. Her time frame will be a lot less. Probably only a few more months.
It's very normal and natural. And it will pass, but you'll just have to be patient. Love it out of her mind. Protect her with your own love, establish your own special times and songs and so on. It'll be worth the time and effort.
2007-02-24 05:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are truly in love, then she may require help on that matter to help your future. Being her 'first' she will always dwell on the past events and that will mean temporary sadness for you each time. You feel helpless and want to help but can't. You wish you could just go in and turn the switch off and never allow it to happen again. BUT......you will need to be truly patient if you love her. She will eventually grow out of it (hopefully).
Do you have a favorite song of your own? Something that she smiles to everytime she is with you and hearing it? Use that as your foundation to start something new with her. Fix an elaborate dinner...play that special song as your background. Try to do something very truly memorable and 'replace' her 'first love' with something unique of your own. Being seniors, go somewhere and celebrate your anniversary. Spring break is coming up...prom is coming up....make it HER time. Make your own memories with her. Give her something which will bring tears to her to remember YOUR face with. Things will eventually work out...just be patient. BOTH of you. Work with her on helping her through it. Most of all...be patient. That will only add to your strong foundation already.
Good luck
=)
2007-02-24 05:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by indyhype 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls can be emotional, and even if she's happy, a song can project her back into the past and she emotionnally associates a song with a feeling, but the emotion is gone when the song is.
I still cry over things when I hear some songs, even though I never think about them otherwise and am more or less over them.
Just be there for her and love her, don't judge her for this, it's normal.
2007-02-24 05:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband cheated on my bad. THat was 20 years ago and it still affects me to this day. I never trusted any man after that. Time helps you get over things and a good man does too. It sounds like you love her very much and being there for her will always makes a difference. Good luck and take care.
2007-02-24 05:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, cheating isn't good. But, er, if she said that... Your girl MAY have some self-esteem issues... Depending on how much you love her back, work with her on them or break up and move on. The latter doesn't make you a bad guy.
2016-05-24 06:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I have been through this. It sounds to me like she is not over her ex boyfriend yet. I am going through the exact same thing right now. My last relationship was a year and 1/2 long and I was in love with the guy...he cheated, and we broke up...and now I am dating this new guy who I love. Everytime I am with him and he does something that reminds me of my ex I get really upset... It's because although I was treated like crap by my ex, I still miss and care about him, and I still do love him.
It sounds like you need to give her some time to fully heal from the last relationship. Her rushing into a relationship with you is not healthy for her, though she might still love you.
It sounds to me like you guys do love eachother, but you have to realize that she DOES still have feelings for her ex whether she admitts it or not. Do you cry about your ex girlfriends in front of her?
talk to her about it and tell her you want what is best for her...and that you support her in trying to heal from her last relationship.
P.s. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that you can/ even want to be with them. This is referring to her and her last boyfriend. She may love him and care about him a lot, but it sounds like she is a smart girl and doesn't actually want to be with him...she just misses what they had since he was her first love...nothing to be scared of.
Give her time to heal.
2007-02-24 05:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is obiously a girl who holds on tight to the past. Especially one that she cherishes a lot. My advice: Give her time, Be patient. Hold her when she crys and let her know that your always there for her. In time, she'll forget about this ex and move on.
2007-02-24 05:27:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well being a woman I can say we never forget our "first love". It's going to be hard on her for a while. Depends on how long it has been since they split. Eventually she will be over it, it just takes time. Hang in there and help her through it as hard as it may be for you.
2007-02-24 05:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋